


When you don't have the words

by squidge86



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Blind Character, Disability, Disabled Character, Dogs, F/F, Mental Health Issues, Multiple Sclerosis, Mute - Freeform, Muteness, Overdose, Pain, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Therapy Dog, carers, mental health, wheelchair, will have reference to attemted rape but will never go into great detail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:44:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 43
Words: 59,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9630188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidge86/pseuds/squidge86
Summary: I suck suck suck at summaries.  Swanqueen AU.  Regina has become a recluse after her disability progresses and has stopped talking.  Emma has run away to start a fresh with her 10 year old son and happened to come across a small but tight knit and friendly town.  How can the trio help each other find their own happiness?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is going to be angst and lots of it. But there will be light moments as well. This will be a very slowburn Swanqueen. Hope you all enjoy. Comments are always welcome, except ones that are mean! 
> 
> As the story progresses there will be mentions of sexual assult. However i will not be going into great detail. Will warn in chapter notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I've started to go over the chapters and check for spellings etc 
> 
> 27/1/18

**Chapter 1**

 

 

 

Every morning starts exactly the same for the former mayor.  Kathryn comes in at precisely seven am.  She lets the black golden doodle out the back garden so he could do his business and have a run round.  Noodle, wagged his tail excitedly as he saw the blonde come into the house.  He knew when to leave Regina’s room and wait at the front door for the blonde. 

“Hey baby boy.”  Kat grinned and they had a quick snuggle and then brought out his filled food and water bowl.   

The blonde starts the coffee machine, pours a glass of freshly filtered water and grabs Regina a banana.  Kathryn made her way upstairs to the large, opulently designed dark bedroom and finds Regina lay awake in bed. 

While staring up at the ceiling with a pained expression on her face, she grunts as Kathryn opens the black out curtains.  She squints as the rays hit her face and rubs her tired eyes. 

Kathryn asked how she slept but like every day for the past year, Regina does not verbally respond.  Regina winced as she sat up and moved the pillows that were down her side for comfort, out of the way. 

Regina scowled as Kathryn gave her the water and banana.  She wasn't hungry but she couldn't be bothered dealing with the incessant prompting to eat from her lifelong friend/full time carer. 

Once the banana and water were finished, Kathryn gave her the medication from the dosette box.  For the past year now, her medication has to be stored in a dosette box and locked away in a safe only Kathryn and Ruby know.

Both Regina and Kathryn; Kat as she prefers to be known, are thirty four years old and have known each other since birth.  Both sets of parents have been close friends for decades.  

Regina hates the fact that she needs carers.  Absolutely despises it in fact.  However, she was in too much pain to fight Kathryn this morning and far too tired. 

Regina transfered into her Quickie wheelchair that was placed next to her luxurious king size bed.  Regina scowled at the frame she has to use to help her up in bed and to balance, as she got into her chair.  Luckily the room was large enough that she was able to easily turn and navigate around in her chair to access everywhere. 

Regina was still living in her childhood home, well mansion.  It was far too big for Regina’s needs but she didn’t care.  She was certainly not going to live in some sort of supported living dwelling with a load of old people, she thought to herself with distaste.  Her parents made sure her home was adapted with everything she needed.  This included through floor lifts so as no area was left out of reach for the ex mayor. 

With her perma-scowl in place she pushed herself to her en-suite bathroom to make use of the facilities.

Once relived, Regina opened the door again and with a nod of her head, she pointed Kathryn to the bath.  Kathryn smiled and was extremely grateful that Regina had started to show a little more care in her personal hygiene.

The angry brunette would at least wash most days and was starting to have a shower or bath at least once or twice a week.  Kat thought she was going to have to maybe blackmail her to just wash.  A few times the thought of putting the hose on her did come up.  Luckily for Regina she never really considered it... for too long anyway.

Kathryn, as usual, was talking to Regina and telling her all about her night.  She hated to be silent too long and hoped one day Regina would finally speak properly and tell her to shut the hell up.  

She had been mute to everyone for around a year now.   Other than when she was alone with Noodle, her therapy dog, then would say a few commands but nothing more than a word or two.  She couldn’t face talking anymore. 

Some days the crippling weight of her depression and anxiety made her think she would never speak again.  Regina certainly didn’t want to be around people. 

However, Kathryn her full time carer and Ruby her part time one, made sure she was well looked after and safe. 

Kathryn helped get Regina undressed and into the bath, where warm bubbles were waiting for her.  Regina sat on the seat and pressed the remote to lower her into the water so she was half submerged.  Regina sighed at the strong lavender smell that permeated the air. 

Days of having a scolding hot shower and bath were long gone as they would only exasperate her condition.  Reluctantly she had to do with barely above luke warm baths. 

The warm water, bath salts and lavender oil were helping to relieve some of the stiffness in her legs.  But the pain in the base of her back was feeling so prominent.  She had to wriggle to find a position that would be the least painful.   Kathryn put the bell on the side of the bath for her. 

“I’ll just be in the bedroom or the kitchen.  Ring that once you are ready to come out or need any help, okay?” 

Regina closed her eyes and gave a barely there nod as she managed to find a position that was just about okay on her back. 

Kathryn left the room and went to work on changing the bedding.  Regina opened her eyes again after a few minutes and looked up at the ceiling. 

She still struggled believing this was her life now; a full time wheelchair user with no job and no hope for the future. 

She pinched her thigh when she felt a lump in her throat and scolded herself for even thinking about crying. 

At that point Noodle pushed open the door and pattered across the marble to Regina.  He placed his head over the bath tub and licked Regina’s face, sensing she was upset.  Regina let out half a laugh and sob as he did that.  She wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist and then gently stroked his soft curls on the top of his head. 

Noodle was one of the very few reasons she was still here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than I thought. This is just a bit of a get to know regina a bit better Chapter. I apologise if it's no good. But i promise Emma will be here soon :). Thank you so so so much for the comments and Kudos. It makes me so happy that people are actually reading my work :):):):).

Regina soaked in the bath for a good half an hour.  The warm water and salts helped eased her stiff aching joints. 

Using her favourite Lavender shampoo, Regina lathered her hair up and washed her body with a matching scented soap.  However, even that simple act tired her out. 

She was having a particularly bad time with fatigue at the moment and even a 'easy' task of washing herself left her wanting a nap.  This left Regina feeling frustrated and sad.  She was a woman who would work twelve hour days and live off five hours sleep a night (if she was lucky to sleep that long.)  She slapped the water in frustration and rang the bell next to her. 

As Noodle heard the bell he knew that meant Kathryn or Ruby was coming so he ran off barking to get them.  He met Kat halfway on the stairs and led the blonde to a depressed and tired looking Regina.

“Are you ready to come out?”  She asked and Regina kept her gaze down and nodded.  Kathryn removed the plug and let the scented water run away. 

Grabbing the remote she lifted the bath seat up and helped her out of the bath.  She got her dried and dressed, Regina struggling to do most of it with how tired she was.

Noodle sat next to her throughout, giving her hand a nudge and a lick when he could sense Regina was getting stressed and upset.  The brunette didn’t put up any fight with Kathryn helping her and as usual was her silent self.  

Once downstairs, Regina was placed at the dining table and was brought her breakfast of porridge and orange juice. Regina slowly ate her unappealing breakfast and propped her head up with her hand.  Kathryn placed her own breakfast on the table and sat next to her. 

“Ruby said you struggled with your food last night? Were you not hungry?”  Kathryn asked softly. 

Regina gave her a shrug.  

“Are you in more pain than usual?”

Regina gave another shrug.  She was far too exhausted to make any type of conversation with her life long best friend now carer. 

“I’m guessing the fatigue is still kicking your ass hard at the moment then?” She asked and Regina looked up to give her a glare that said shut up right now. 

Kathryn let out a soft chuckle, “Okay, okay, I’ll shut up.”  Nothing about Regina scared her, it never had.  As Mayor, Regina could make grown men cower with just a look but it never worked on Kathryn since they have known each other from being babies.  

After breakfast she got Regina comfy on the huge black leather L shaped couch and gave Regina the remote for the huge seventy inch 4K smart Tv. 

Regina had bought it a few months ago to try and make her feel something, but it didn’t excite her like it would have a number of years ago.  Regina had loved shopping and having all the most up to date gadgets and electronics. 

The exhausted woman pulled her legs up and was propped up by pillows as she turned the tv on.  She put it on the Food Network channel and closed her eyes so she could rest.   

After gently patting the couch, Noodle jumped up to sit next to the woman.  Noodle placed his head onto her lap and nudged her hand so she could place it on his head.  She obliged with a tired smile and even though her hand was still, he was happy with that. 

Two hours of dozing for Regina and housekeeping for Kathryn later, the blonde sat next to Noodle on the couch. 

“I have a date tomorrow night.”  Kathryn casually mentioned but Regina noticed she was nervous about it. 

Regina arched her eyebrow in slight surprise and in a way to ask her to continue. 

“Yeah, with Frederick Midas.”  Kathryn admitted with an unlike her, shy smile.  Regina reached out for her Ipad and wrote down on her writing app, “ **The teacher**?”

Kathryn read the note and nodded, “Yeah the primary school teacher.  I was having dinner at Granny’s and he asked if he could sit with me as there was nowhere else to sit.”

“ **What happened?** ”

“Well we got talking about what we were eating at first.  He seemed really shy but pleasant enough.  I did have to lead the conversation quite a bit to begin with though.”

“ **He sounds riveting.”** She typed with a roll of her eyes. 

Kathryn laughed as she read that and gave her hand a very gentle and playful swat. 

“Fred was a little shy but the longer we talked the more confident he became.  He’s very sweet and with a great sense of humour.”  Kathryn smiled fondly as she reminisced about last night. 

Regina gave her a small smile as she watched the emotions on Kat’s face.  She knew Kat had not had a date in well over a year.  Regina knew that was her fault, caring for her full time didn’t leave much time for dating or socialising.  Especially the amount of stress she puts her under. 

 _ **“I’m happy for you.”**_   Regina wrote to her.  “ **Finish early tomorrow.  Leave me a sandwich and a drink and i'll be fine until Ruby comes.  Remember I have my care link pendant if I need help**.”

Kathryn shook her head, “I will be fine Regina and I don’t want to leave you on your own just because I’m going on a date.”

Regina gave her a stern look and typed out, **“You’re going early end of discussion.”**

Kathryn rolled her eyes at the stubborn brunette.  “It’s very generous of you.  But I will see if Ruby will come early.” 

Regina huffed at her wishes being ignored and at the reminder that she needed constant support. 

Her eyes went back to the TV and tried to concentrate on the Chinese food programme.  She missed cooking a lot.  From the methodical preparations to experimenting with various flavours and techniques, she loved everything about it.  However, now she couldn’t use the oven safely because of the wheelchair. Also the fatigue can stop her preparing for too long.  

Kat saw Regina as she shut down from her and let out a quiet sigh.  The blonde put her arm around her shoulders and Regina shrugged her off abruptly not wanting the contact.  Kat respected her wishes and removed her arm. 

Regina put her legs over the edge of the couch and got back into her chair.  Regina was feeling angry and frustrated and needed to be away from her. 

Once Regina got to the patio doors and after a struggle to get them open she pushed her way out to the patio. Noodle followed her obediently and ran out to the grass as Regina threw a ball using the ball chucker.  It didn’t go very far but the device allowed it to go much further than without using it.  Noodle didn’t care and he kept running about and barking in excitement.  Her therapy dog was pretty much the only thing that made her really smile anymore. 

Kathryn stood up and went to make a start on lunch, she was almost used to Regina’s moods.  But it still hurt to see her best friend so broken.  Regina was always a private person, many people viewed her as cold because of it.   She was never like that with Kat and Ruby though.  The woman was warm, protective and playful with her best friends.  The woman she was caring for was a million miles away from the woman she grew up with.  Kat had to have faith that she would appear again but the more time passed the less likely it was becoming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning of very slight reference of violence.

Emma stood panting in the middle of her bedroom. Her clothes ripped and in disarray on her body.

Killian lay unconscious on the floor with a bruise starting to form around his eye already.

She was frozen in place unable to move her limbs as she stared down at her knocked out boyfriend. Her hand covered her own gasp a few minutes later as she was finally able to react.

She immediately grabbed two hold all bags from her wardrobe and packed what she could of her clothes, laptop and important documents after changing her clothes.

As silent as she could, she crept into her ten year old son’s tiny bedroom and packed a bag for him. Clothes, a few books, teddies and his adaptive equipment went into the other holdall.

Once both bags and her satchel were on her back she carefully picked up her sleeping son and left the suffocating flat for good. At that point she really didn’t care if Killian was dead in the other room, she needed to leave that toxicity behind and not look back.

Emma had been driving for around four hours at this point. She went in no particular direction other than away from everything she knew in Boston. Two pit stops to fill the car with petrol were the only deviations she took from the plan of leaving her abusive life.

Her stomach gave out a loud rumble as she passed a sign in the middle of nowhere, welcoming her to Storybrooke.

‘ _What a weird name for a town_.’ She thought to herself with a wrinkle of her nose. She kept rubbing at her eyes and opened a window to try keep her awake.

A few minutes later it was seven am and she was driving through a old fashioned looking town centre. The blonde noticed it was tiny and not a chain store in sight.

A neon sign for ‘Granny’s Diner’ caught her eye and since Emma knew she couldn’t possibly drive anymore and stay safe, pulled up outside the establishment.

Henry started to stir in the back seat, a blanket had been wrapped around him as he slept through everything. Emma got in the back seat and stroked his mop of brown hair.

“Henry...I need you to wake up for me.” She told him with a soft, loving voice. The lump under the cover moved and he pulled the blanket off him.

“Ma? Where am I? This is not my bed.” He said as he felt the car seat around him. Henry was registered blind but still could see general blurred shapes around him and if he used his magnifier, could see up to a few inches away from his face.

“We are in the car, bud."

“Why?” Henry sat up as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“We needed to leave Boston. We are going on an adventure, its going to be our new start.”

“With Killian?” He asked quietly, worried about what her answer was going to be.

“No, not with Killian, I’ve left him.” Henry smiled and sighed with relief at that news. He really didn’t like the man

“Good. It can be like old times again.” Henry grinned and took his seatbelt off. Emma gave him his cane and he got out of the car. Emma held the back of his head and gave him a tender kiss to his forehead.

“I love you so much Henry and I promise things will be so much better from now on.” Emma stroked his soft hair and stood up straight. “There is a Diner just in front of us, I don’t know about you but I am starving.”

Henry enthusiastically agreed with his mother and put his hand on her back while he was led to the old fashioned looking restaurant and used the cane to guide his path.

A bell jingled above their hand once they walked in.

“Well hello new people.”

Emma closed the door behind them and turned to face the person behind the welcoming voice.

A brunette woman with below shoulder length hair was walking up to them. She was wearing the tiniest black shorts Emma had ever seen and her white shirt was buttoned then tied at the waist so her toned stomach was on show. The waitress was sporting a huge smile showing off her pearly white teeth. Emma couldn’t help but noticed how gorgeous the woman was.

“My name is Ruby and I’ll be your waitress this morning.” Ruby greeted them warmly however was looking a tad surprised to see them.

 

“Hi there I'm Henry, nice to meet you.” Henry beamed and used the hand that was on Emma’s back, to wave at Ruby.

“Well aren’t you just the most adorable and well mannered little dude.” Ruby praised and looked at Henry then Emma. “Are you guys eating in or taking out?”

Before Emma had the chance to even think about an answer, Henry replied, “Eating in, definitely. Do you have any booths?”

“Oh yes and I have the best booth just for you two.” Ruby led them both to the back of the restaurant. Ruby made sure to push any chairs in so there was no obstacles in Henry’s path. But it was pretty clear and wide spaces between tables anyway.

As the pair sat on opposite sides of the booth Henry looked closer at the seating.

“The seats are my favourite colour, that is so cool!” he remarked and turned to face Emma again.

“No way! Red is my favourite colour too.” Ruby told him. “All my friends call me Red.”

“That’s so cool!” He giggled at the nickname. “Do you like Ma’s jacket then?” He asked pointing to the red leather jacket Emma was wearing.

“I love it.” Ruby admired the jacket and not at all the gorgeous blonde who was wearing it.

Emma gave a tired smile at Ruby and missed the way she was looked at. Emma couldn’t stop the yawn that left her lips. “Oh excuse me.”

“Hey its no problem. Are you visiting anyone here, looks like you need some rest.” Ruby commented, noticing how exhausted and pale the woman looked.

“No we are just passing through, it’s been a long drive.”

“Well we own a B&B and we have a few vacancies if you need somewhere to crash?”

Emma paused to think about the offer. On one hand she wanted to get far away from Killian and Boston as possible. On the other hand though she was exhausted and it would not be safe to drive a second longer without some rest.

“Oh please Ma, can we stay!?” He asked her with his best puppy dog expression. With a soft chuckle she nodded her head.

“Yeah we can stay, but I’m going to need a few hours sleep Hen.”

“That’s fine, I’ll keep myself busy I promise.” His smile was what got her up each morning. He was the only shining light in her miserable existence.

“Alright then we will take a room.”

“Brilliant, I will make sure it is ready for you by the time you finish breakfast. Speaking of, lets fill those bellies.” Ruby walked over to the counter and got them menus. She gave Emma one and gave Henry a large print, multiple page menu. “Do you need any help with the menu buddy?” Ruby offered.

“No thanks Red, Ma should have my magnifier.” Emma took his hand held magnifier out of her satchel and gave it her son who proceeded to lift the menu close to his face and read with the magnifier.

Emma was impressed and touched not just with the rare finding large print menus but with how normal Ruby was treating her son.

People usually ignored him or tried to do too much for him instead of going with his lead of what he could or couldn't do.

Henry was a highly independent little boy who had such an enthusiasm for life that didn't match Emma's.

"What can I get you both to drink then while you choose?" Ruby asked them both.

"Can we get a jug of water and an orange juice please."

"Yeah can I have an orange juice as well please?" Henry asked briefly lifting his head away from the menu to ask then went back to reading.

"Coming right up." Ruby left the pair and got their drinks ready. Before she took the drinks over she rang the B and B next door and asked Tink to get a room ready.

  
Ruby placed the tray down and set the drinks out.  "You guys need more time or are you ready to order?"

"Can I get the waffles with nuttela, ice cream bananas and maple syrup please." Henry asked politely.

Emma chuckled and shook her head, "I have no idea where he puts it."

"He's a growing boy and looks like he's got a lot of energy to burn it off." Ruby smiled and wrote the order down. "And what about you..." She lingered unsure of her name.

"It's Emma and I will have the chocolate chip pancakes with berries."

"Good choice, Emma. It's my grandma who cooks and her pancakes are to die for." Ruby told her with a wink.

"Well I can't wait to try them." Emma said with a genuine smile.

Ruby sauntered off and gave the order to Granny.

The place was quiet since it had only just opened for the day. There were three other older gentlemen in the place, two separate at the counter and one at a table in front of the window.

"I like it here already." Henry told her with a smile.

"Oh yeah, kid?"

"Yeah, Red is cool and oh gosh I'm so excited for these waffles." He giggled and wriggled in his seat. "Did you bring my tablet?"

"Of course, buddy." Emma took his tablet out of her satchel and gave it to her son.

"Thanks, Ma." Henry said and started to play an episode of the old series of teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Emma leant back against the seat and watched her son fondly enjoying a TV show she loved herself as a kid.

Emma jolted in her seat as Ruby placed the plates down. She must have fallen asleep sat up she thought.

"Sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you." Ruby said with a warm smile and gave a squeeze to her shoulder. Emma tensed at the contact at first but her anxiety lowered as she looked up at the kind woman and saw no threat there.

"No it's okay." She gave a small smile in response then looked at the towering plates of food. "Oh wow.... are these like super size portions."

Ruby chuckled and shook her head, "No these are standard portions but we will pack anything and give you a doggy bag if you can't finish."

Henry turned the episode off and took photos of both of their meals. He zoomed in on the photos and gasped. "This looks amazing."

Emma smiled and agreed with him. "Thanks Ruby."

"If you two need anything at all just give me a shout. Oh and your room is ready." Ruby gave them both a grin and walked off.

"Well dig in kid." Emma grabbed her knife and fork and dove right in. The food was like an orgasm in her mouth. Emma was in agreement with Henry, she was liking Storybrooke already.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the people who have reviewed and left kudos. It makes me so so happy people are actually enjoying my work. Please continue to feed me with reviews as that is how I survive :P.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Love to you all.
> 
> Warning for mentions of abusive language.

 

Henry and Emma were given a lovely and quaint twin bed room with their own en suite.

Ruby had packed their half eaten breakfasts for them and Emma left them on the dressing table.  Ruby had also gave them a couple of bottles of water and orange for their room. 

Henry sat on the end of his chosen bed and bounced. 

“This is so comfy!”  He said in awe. 

Emma chuckled at his reaction and got into some comfy clothes that she could sleep in.  Her jeans were far to tight sleep well in.

“That it is, Bud.” Emma knelt down in front of him so that they were the same height.  She gently rubbed the top of his arms as she spoke, “Now Henry, do not leave this room while I take a nap.  And especially under no circumstances do you open that front door to anyone.  Wake me up and I’ll answer the door.  Do you understand?”

“I do Ma.  I promise I will wake you up if anyone knocks on the door.”  Emma stroked his mop of brown hair that desperately needed a cut, then kissed his forehead.

“You are my perfect boy.  I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too, Ma.”  Henry smiled at his mother.

Pretty much as soon as her head hit the memory foam pillow she was asleep.

 

**_Emma is in a dark tunnel, she can feel the stony pathway under her bare feet as they rip the skin. But she needs to keep running as fast as she can._**

**_Killian’s menacing voice is echoing around the pitch black tunnel that had no end in sight as she tries to escape him._ **

**_“You stupid bitch!”_ **

**_“Useless fucking whore..”_ **

**_“You’ve never been anything and you never will be.”_ **

**_“I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you just did as I fucking said...”_ **

**_“It’s your fault I drink.”_ **

**_“You won't survive without me....no one is going to love you like I do..”_ **

**_His voice gets louder and louder and she can’t run fast enough.  Emma feels a rough hand on her shoulder as she feels him catch up to her._ **

Emma woke up with a loud gasp to see Henry hovering over her, shaking her shoulder. 

“Ma! Ma! Wake up, you’re having another nightmare.” He pleads to her.  Emma was drenched in sweat and gasping for breath.

She felt her heart beat as if it was going to burst out of her chest.  She shot up and frantically looked around the room in fear and confusion until she remembered that she was in the B & B. 

Jumping out of bed she threw herself at the door to made sure it was locked and secure. 

She did the same with the window and also checked the bathroom in a panicked state. 

“Ma! You’re scaring me, there’s no one here.” 

Emma dropped to her knees and looked under the beds and once she realised Killian hadn’t found them, she let out a sigh of relief. 

Her heart was still beating hard against her chest but she was beginning to become calmer. 

Emma pulled Henry into a crushing hug, “I’m sorry Henry, it was just a bad dream I’m alright now.”  She told him trying to keep as calm as possible.

“It’s okay, Ma.”  He tried to be strong for his mum and hugged her back even if it was crushing him.  “I will protect you, Ma.  I will always protect you.”  The ten year old promised. 

She let out a bitter sweet laugh at that.  Her son should not be the one to protect her she thought.

“You are my hero, Hen.  We will protect each other.”  They continued to hug each other for a few minutes before Henry scrunched his nose up.

“Ma, you really need a shower, you stink.”  Henry pulled away from his mother and wafted the air in front of his nose.

His mother laughed and looked down to see her clothes were drenched in sweat.  “You’re right Hen.  I won’t be long.”  She gave his head a kiss then grabbed her stuff for a shower.

\---

 One long and scalding shower later, Emma walked back into the bedroom feeling a bit more normal. 

Henry was dancing to the Foo Fighters that he had playing on his tablet.  Emma smiled fondly at her son and took his hand to dance along with him.

Dancing was one of his favourite activities since over the past five years.  She wished she could have afforded lessons for him but the bounty hunting job was never stable enough to have much extra cash. 

What she did have spare she hid away in a secret bank account to be able to finally escape her now ex boyfriend.  Plus Killian always thought it was too ‘faggy’ for a boy to do over the years they were together. 

Emma swore to herself that once they were somewhere safe and stable, Henry would go to regular dance lessons.

 

They danced for a few more songs before Henry turned the music off.  “Can we explore the town, Ma?”  Henry asked with a wide eyed eagerness.   

Emma hesitated about what she wanted to do, whether to stay for a bit or to keep moving, making sure she was as far as possible from Boston. 

However Henry’s expression broke her, “Sure we can, Hen.  It looks like a nice day, grab your coat and your shoes.  Then we can go see if Ruby is still working for any suggestions on where to go.” 

Henry used his cane to guide him back to the chair where he left his coat and shoes.  It was three in the afternoon but they were still full from breakfast. 

The diner was busier now than it was when they were last there first thing in the morning.  Ruby smiled as she noticed the new people return.  “Hi guys, how is the room for you, did you get any sleep?”

“The room is great thanks and I managed to get some sleep luckily.”

“The beds are the best and so bouncy.” Henry giggled.

Ruby laughed at his description, “Yeah we have just replaced all the beds recently so they are all fresh.  Are you guys hungry?”

Emma shook her head, “Hell no, we are still so full, even the human dustbin over there.  We were hoping to explore the town and wondering if you had any suggestions?”

“Well to be honest, not much.”  Ruby chuckled and shrugged at the pair.  “But if you guys hang fire a few minutes, I finish my shift so I can show you around if you want?”

“Yes please, Red!” Henry said with an excited yelp, his grin getting even bigger.

Emma smiled as she watched her son get so excited.   Ruby didn’t give off a bad vibe so she decided to throw caution to the wind and agreed to the tour.

The friendly brunette supplied them all with a free milkshake and started their tour on the main street.  She gave a brief overview of all the independent stores they had on offer and a bit about the history of Storybrooke Granny had told her growing up. 

After about an hour Ruby  walked them to the beach.  Henry gasped as he heard that they were at a beach.  “Ma! Please can I paddle in the sea. Oh please, please, please!” He begged her. 

 

“Hen, it’s going to be freezing.”  She said with a disbelieving laugh. 

“But I’ve never been to the beach before, oh please Ma!”  Henry pleaded to his mum. 

“Fine, fine but don’t complain to me when your feet fall off from frostbite.” She warned and tickled his sides.  Henry squealed and wriggled away with a grin. 

Ruby laughed at the pair, she loved that little boy’s positive energy. 

“My two best friends and I used to go swimming regularly in there.  We would have regular competitions between us about who could last the longest.  Even in the summer it isn’t that warm most of the time.”  Ruby explained to the pair with a fond smile on her lips.

Emma shook her head as she grinned, “You and your friends sound crazy.  What are they called?”

“Regina and Kathryn. “

“Do they still live here?” Emma asked, noticing the bittersweet smile on her face. 

“Yeah they both do.” She nodded.  “Regina used to always win.”

“Well there is no way in hell you are going to see me get in that water.” Emma answered with grin on her face. 

“We will see, Emma.  We will see.” Ruby gave her a wink and the eager pair took their shoes and socks off. 

Ruby asked to take Henry’s hand and they made their way to the water.  Emma was a few feet away from the shore. 

“Aghh! That’s cold!” Henry squealed as he tiptoed into the sea, but he was laughing hysterically as he made loud noises while trying to get used to the cold.

“I warned you!” Emma called out as she took her phone out and recorded him.  Ruby jumped a few times to splash themselves but didn’t let go of his hand.

“Red!” The boy giggled and reached down to splash the water at her. 

“Come on Ma, you quickly get used to the temperature.” Henry tried to encourage his mum but with no luck. 

“Yeah come in Emma.” Red suggested with a smirk and signalled her to come over with her finger and a wink.

Emma smirked and shook her head.  “Absolutely no way.”

Henry gave her an exaggerated pout and the best puppy dog expression.  “That’s not going to work on me bud, not this time.”

The ten year old’s face cracked and he started to giggle.  Henry gave up on trying to encourage Emma and concentrated on playing with Ruby in the water, never going high then his mid shin. 

Twenty minutes was enough for Henry and they made their way back out and onto the sand to make sandcastles with their hands.

Emma took a few photos of Ruby and Henry playing as if they knew each other forever.  She felt a tug in her heart and in that moment she decided they would stay at least a few more days and see where this would take them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bit of a delay and thank you so much for the comments and Kudos. Really makes my day :D

Henry bombarded Ruby with questions about the town and about its history.  Ruby was all too happy to try and answer everything he wanted to know. 

Emma was fairly quiet as they spoke but she loved listening to Henry talk and appear so happy. 

 “Emma, what is it that you do?”  Ruby asked as she assisted Henry in building his giant sandcastle.

“I’m....well was a bounty hunter.”

“Really?? Wow that’s so cool.  Are you not doing it anymore?”  Ruby was fascinated about that revelation.

“I er...don’t currently have a job.”  She explained, not wanting to reveal too much.

“Well we are looking for a Deputy Sherriff at the moment.  It won’t be anywhere near as exciting as bounty hunting but it pays pretty well and you will get health Insurance and dental.  That is unless you were headed somewhere specific?” She offered the blonde. 

Ruby didn’t know what it was about the blonde that made her make the offer.  She just had a really good feeling about her and she was rarely ever wrong when it came to her instinct. 

“Oh Ma please!  Please can you take the job, I love it here already.”   Henry pleaded with her.

Emma was frozen by the offer, the incredibly kind and out of this world offer.

“Hen...” She started, at a loss of what to say, looking like she was in a state of shock. 

“Oh Ma, Ruby said there’s a school here as well and we can stay at the B & B until we get a place.”  Henry was looking clumsy as he made his way over to his mother.  “Please, please!”  He pleaded again and wrapped his arms around her. 

Emma could only hold him tight as he got more and more emotional, “Shhh Hen, calm down for me.  I need to think about this okay and I may not even get the job if I do apply.”

Ruby felt a little guilty for causing such an emotional reaction out of Henry.  “There is no rush at all, trust me it is a very quiet town.  The post has been empty for six months after he retired so there really is no rush at all.” 

Emma listened and nodded, “I will think about it.” 

Ruby gave her a warm smile and rubbed Henry’s back.  All he could comprehend was that if they stayed here they would have no reason to go back to Killian in Boston.  His mother’s nightmares will stop and she will finally be happy.

“Henry, give me tonight to think about it okay?  Then maybe I will ask about the post.  Is that a deal?”  Emma said slowly. 

Henry gave her a bright smile, his eyes shimmering with moisture from his unshed tears.  “Oh darling,” Emma stroked a chubby cheek with her fingers.  “I promise you we will be happy and settled, alright?”

Henry nodded and gave his mum a kiss to her cheek.  Emma felt heartbroken and incredibly guilty that she was causing pain to her only joy in the world. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you two, I have to get to my other work.”  Ruby explained and ruffled Henry’s hair as he smiled more. 

“I live in room four and I’ll be back about half nine.  So if you need anything just knock on or ring down to the front desk.  It has been so cool to hang out with you two, a definite nice change.  Want me to walk you back to Main Street?”

“No it’s alright Ruby and thank you for the tour and well everything.”  Emma told her sincerely.

“Yeah thanks Red, I’ll see you later.”  Henry got off Emma’s lap and hugged Ruby tight.  The waitress was just as enthusiastic with the hug.

“Not a problem at all.  Well I have to dash or Regina will give me the stink eye if I’m even a second late.”  She said playfully to Henry.

Henry giggled, “What is your other job, Regina is one of your best friends right?”

“Yeah she is.  Unfortunately she has M.S and is unable to do a lot of the things she used to be able to do.  So I help out in the evenings and two weekends a month.  Our other best friend helps during the day on weekdays.”

“Oh no, that must be frustrating that she can’t do things she used to be able to do.”  Henry said as he tried to think of a way to help. “Maybe she could do new things then!?  Things she didn’t do before she got sick.” 

Ruby smiled at this positive outlook, “That’s a great idea Henry, but it may take a bit of time to sell that to Regina.  Right I really do have to go, be good you two.”  She teased as she put her shoes back on and left the pair.

\----

The next day Emma met with David who was the Sherriff and he was eager to offer her the job after hearing about her bounty hunting days.  Emma asked for a few days to think about the offer. 

During those days of contemplation David introduced Emma to his wife, Mary Margaret and they got on like a house on fire. 

Emma and Henry regularly met up to spend time with Ruby before she had to work and she grew fonder of the area. 

After having the weekend to think about it, Emma accepted the job offer on Monday morning.  Henry couldn’t physically get any more excited about the news. 

Henry was to be enrolled by Wednesday and would have his own support so he could attend the mainstream classes.  Since he already had his own equipment to support him, there were not any costly adaptations that needed to do before he could start.  Henry was ecstatic to start school and even more excited to learn Mary Margaret would be his teacher.

On Tuesday Emma and Henry had dinner at the Diner.  The Diner was busier than usual so by the time Ruby had finished she was going to be late to get to Regina’s.  Emma offered to drive her over and Ruby gave her a bear hug. 

“You’re a lifesaver.” Ruby grinned and took her apron off then grabbed her bag and coat. 

They got into Emma’s bug and Ruby gave Emma directions.  She pulled up outside Regina’s mansion and Emma gasped, “Woah....Regina lives here? What did she used to do to be able to live in a place like this?” Emma was in awe at the size.

“Regina used to be the Mayor of Storybrooke, but she resigned about three years ago.”  Ruby explained with a sad sigh.  She shook her head and gave Emma a smile.  “She’s super rich in her own right though, made some amazing investments.  She’s insane with numbers and the stock market and stuff.  I haven’t got a clue myself.” She chuckled.  “Anyway thanks for the lift Emma.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem.”  Emma smiled and reached back to give Ruby’s hand a squeeze in support.  “If you ever need to talk or anything, you know where I am.”  She offered seeing the sad glint in Ruby’s eyes earlier.

“Thank you.”  Ruby accepted and squeezed her hand back.

“Maaaa....I need to pee, I can’t hold it much longer.”  Henry whined from the back seat. 

“I asked if you needed the toilet before we left.”  Emma said incredulously.

“But I didn’t need it then.”  He whined again and wriggled awkwardly in his seat. 

Emma looked over to Ruby, “Do you think Regina would mind if he quickly uses her bathroom?”

Ruby hesitated a moment but then nodded.  “It will be fine I’m sure.  I do have to say though; she’s kind of become a recluse since her health got worse.”  She explained to the pair.  “Also she doesn’t talk.” 

She looked at the clock on the dash and swore under her breath once she saw she was a few minutes late.  “We need to get going in.”  They all got out of the car and Henry put her hand on Emma’s back to let him lead her and used his cane.  “You’re not scared or allergic to dogs are you?”

Henry’s face lit up and shook his head, “I love dogs!”

“Great, because she has a therapy dog and he will be at the door waiting for me.” She smiled and she opened the door to see Noodle wagging his tail frantically in the middle of the foyer.   “See what I mean.” Ruby smiled and gave Noodle a stroke to his head. 

Forgetting all about needing the bathroom, Henry launched himself at Noodle and wrapped his arms around his neck and cuddled him. 

“Oh my god his fur his so soft.”  Noodle loved the attention and licked happily at the strangers face.   Noodle barked in excitement as Henry squealed in joy at being covered in dog kisses.  “What is your name?” He asked the dog and felt around for his collar to try and read the tag. 

“He is called Noodle.”  Henry giggled and kept stroking him.

“You have the coolest name, Noodle.  I’m Henry.”  He introduced himself to the dog.  Ruby grinned at the pair.  She wasn’t sure who was more excited to see who.

“The bathroom is your third door on the right, I’m going to tell Regina I’m here but I think she may have already gathered that.” She told Emma and looked back down to see Noodle on his back and Henry giving him belly rubs and cooing over him.

“Well I think his bladder may explode before he leaves Noodle alone.” She joked and watched Ruby leave to another room on the ground floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days? :O (purely because i had written the previous chapter a week a go and forgot to finish and post it.) Hope you all enjoy. Love you guys for commenting already :D

Kathryn had left at five pm as usual and Regina was sat on the couch with her legs up.  She was propped up with her cushions and had her laptop resting on her lap.  Beethoven was coming from speakers all around the room. 

Physio had been particularly strenuous for the former mayor and she ended up napping on and off for the last few hours. 

Regina woke up and adjusted herself in her seat so she could sit up better.  She detested the fact she had naps now.  The woman used to work off a few hours sleep each night and she would be fine.  But now she was lying down more than she was sat up.  Every day she was frustrated with every single thing she couldn’t do. 

Currently her laptop was on the frequently visited gambling site. The frustration and depression she was going through was why she escaped through gambling.  Luckily for Regina she was incredibly wealthy, and could easily live off the interest on one of her investments alone for the rest of her life and be fine. 

She had an incredible talent for analysing data and forecasting.   Researching about different teams and different horses gave her something to do. 

Regina got a buzz waiting for the result of whatever bet she had put on.  It was the only real excitement she felt in her life.  She honestly didn’t care that much if she won or not, it was about the anticipation.

However, she knew Kathryn and Ruby would try and stop her so she kept that part of her life from her friends.  That was her little secret that she had control over.  It was mainly at night when she was alone that she made the bets usually for the day. 

She couldn’t do much without them, there was no way she could survive without them.  Regina loved her friends dearly but she would trade all her wealth for one day to be able to walk out of the house and go wherever she wanted to.

Regina shook her head as she tried to ignore that longing feeling. 

She noticed that it was six thirty and Ruby wasn’t here yet.  After quickly logging out and wiping clean her internet history, Regina started to panic.  Six thirty five and Ruby still hadn’t come in. 

The Latina picked up her phone and checked for any messages but there was nothing.  Anxiety started to rise inside of Regina.

_What if she had been in an accident?_

_What if she’s seriously hurt and there isn’t a thing I could do?_

_She’s had enough of me hasn’t she?_

_I’m a burden to them.  I stop them from living their lives.  They hate me and I don’t blame them, I hate myself too._

Tears had started to fall down her cheeks without her realising it. She jumped as she finally heard the front door.  Regina immediately transferred to her wheelchair that was next to the couch but then froze as she heard a child’s voice.   Her hair was up in a messy bun, she had no make-up on and hadn’t had a wash in a few days.

_Who the hell was with Ruby? Why has she brought a stranger to my house when she knows full well I don’t want to see anyone._

Regina was panicking for a different reason now.  She didn’t want anyone to see her.    Regina was stuck to the spot and didn’t know what to do as she could hear the excited squeals of a child and Noodle playing.  

Ruby walked in to the living room to find Regina in the middle of a panic attack.  “Gina!” She said in shock and rushed to kneel in front of her.  “Gina I need you to concentrate on my voice okay.”  She said gently and took her hands that were tugging at her own collar as Regina felt she couldn’t breathe properly. 

“We are going to do the breathing exercise, everything is going to be just fine.” She said in her most calming voice.  “Square breathing okay, now follow me.  Breath in for two seconds...hold for two....exhale for two...hold for two...copy how I’m breathing.”

Regina was looking at her desperately and was struggling to copy the breathing but she eventually was able to follow the pattern. 

“Sweetie you are doing so well.  I want you to do it all for three seconds now.” Ruby asked her and stroked her fingers, knowing that was a way to help calm her down.

Regina finally was able to breathe normally and she pulled Ruby into a hug.  She felt like bursting into tears but she forced herself not to.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong, can you write it down for me?”  Ruby cooed and stroked her back. 

The younger woman was shocked at the sudden hug but she certainly wasn’t going to complain.  It had been so long since Regina had initiated a hug. 

Shaking her head, Regina pulled back and wiped at her eyes. 

“Alright sweetie there is no pressure.” Ruby took her hand again and ran her fingers along hers.  “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Regina shook her head again and let Ruby continue her calming touch.  It was something Ruby had done for years to her.  She especially loved it after they had intimate moments and they were basking in the afterglow.  But that was a lifetime ago that hurt too much to think about. 

Regina was startled out of her thoughts as a young boy ran in chasing after Noodle.  Noodle skidded to a halt in front of Regina and licked her free hand. Regina stroked his head slowly and smiled at her big black dog. 

“Hi there, I’m Henry.” The boy greeted with a dazzling smile and put his hand out for Regina.  She noticed his eye line was quite with her eyes, it was more to the side of her face.  Regina pulled her hand away from Noodle and shook his small hand briefly while Henry gave a firm shake.  She looked over to Ruby in confusion to ask who he was.  However, he answered before Ruby got chance to.

“I’m the new sheriff’s son.  We moved here last week.  Ruby told us you can’t speak but that’s okay.  I can’t see, well I can see a bit but I am registered blind.  See this..” He lifted up his cane. “..this helps me about so I don’t fall off kerbs or down big holes.” His smile never faltered as he chatted away.  

“I can see things with magnifiers up close and also I have a programme where it can read words out loud .  Do you have that so you can speak? If not you really should.  It will make talking to me a lot easier and quicker as well.  But I don’t mind reading what you write. Would you like to see my tablet with all my software on it?”  Henry asked as he took his backpack off and pulled his tablet out. 

Even though he was asking questions he wasn’t actually waiting for any kind of answer.  

Regina felt flustered by this random child that had arrived into her home and was talking to her like it was the most natural thing in the world.  Before she knew it Henry felt around over her arm and stood to the side of her, placing the tablet in her lap.   Everything was audio described and she turned on the text to voice programme. 

“Hello Miss Regina.  I love Noodle.  He is the best dog ever.”  The automated male voice said from the tablet.  Regina couldn’t help but smile at that.  The boy was right, he really was the best dog. 

She typed into the tablet, “ _Thank you.  I agree Henry, he is the best dog I could ever wish for_.”

Henry’s smile became larger as he heard her answer.  “How long have you had him for?” He asked verbally.

“ _About eight months._ ”

“I’ve never had a pet before.  Can we take him for a walk?”  He bluntly asked. 

Regina froze and felt anxiety start to creep in at the thought of leaving the house. 

Ruby noticed her body language and intervened. 

“Not today buddy, I take him for walk before I go back home.”

“Another time then?” He asked not realising how anxious Regina was getting at the thought of going out in public for everyone to stare and judge her. 

“Another time you can come with me during the day.”  Ruby said and stroked Regina’s fingers again. 

“Henry? Ah finally, there you are, I told you to wait for me.” Emma said in relief and paused as she saw Regina.  Regina’s eyes widened and her whole body stiffened as she saw the gorgeous blonde walk in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a creative weekend so here is another chapter :O. Thank you so so so so much for the reviews. They are my oxygen. 
> 
> Note: I apologise now, please don't hurt me.

Emma felt her heart flutter with happiness as she watched her son and the big curly black dog play.  She had always wanted to be able to have a dog.  However none of the foster homes ever had one. 

Once Henry was born it was all about making enough money to meet Henry’s basic needs.   Emma thought to herself that as soon as they were settled into life here, they would get a dog.

“Come on bud, go to the toilet before you wet yourself.” She smiled and led her son to the bathroom.  

After he was done she went to the bathroom herself and told him to wait in the hall.  When she was finished she walked back into the hall and panicked as she couldn’t see her son where she left him.

Emma was disorientated by the sheer size of the mansion and ended up looking through a few different rooms before she finally found Henry with Ruby crouched down. 

“Henry? Ah finally there you are, I told you to wait for me.”  She paused as she saw a nervous looking woman look up at her from a wheelchair.   

Emma put on her best smile to try and ease her nerves and walked over to the woman, “Hey there I’m Emma, I see you’ve met this chatterbox already.  You must be Regina.”

Regina looked down and gave the tablet back to Henry before rushing out of the room not even acknowledging Emma.  Regina had to get out of that room as soon as she saw the stunning woman.   Her heart was beating hard in her chest as she managed to get into the kitchen and her body was in great pain. 

Emma arched her eyebrow up as Regina left and gave Ruby a questioning look.  Ruby gave her a apologetic smile and squeezed her shoulder.  “She’s not feeling too great and isn’t used to visitors.”

Emma nodded in understanding, “And we have just barged in unannounced into her home.  Can you apologise to her for me?”

“I will do. I best go to her and see how she is.”  Ruby explained.  “I have to say though, she likes him, I can tell.”

“Yeah? Well he is a pretty lovable kid.” Emma smiled and ruffled his hair. “But it’s time to go now kid, we need to get you ready for your first day of school tomorrow.”

“Yay! I can’t wait.” He punched the air in excitement before giving Noodle a last hug and scratch behind the ears.

Emma shook her head in amusement, “Come on buddy, say goodbye to Ruby and we’ll go.”  The pair hugged and Emma hugged Ruby before leaving.

\---

Regina opened the fridge and took a cold bottle of water out and closed the door.  She tried to open the bottle but it hurt so much and she couldn’t break the seal.   In the end she threw it on the floor in anger and let out a cry of frustration. 

She wanted a scotch but no one would let her keep alcohol in the house anymore.  Not since the hospital admission a year ago.  She wanted to drown herself in the alcohol and forget how miserable her existence was now. 

Before Robin, before the illness that had changed her life so dramatically for the worse, Regina would have definitely tried to flirt with Emma.  But now she was a mess and disgusting she thought. 

Before she started to get some aches and pains, Regina was always immaculately dressed.  The majority of the time she was in expensive skirt or pant suits.  Her hair was never a strand out of place and her makeup perfect for any occasion. 

Her hair would never be long enough that it touched past her shoulders either unlike now, where it reached halfway down her back.  It was currently greasy and up in a messy bun.  Regina always knew she was attractive but now she felt anything but.  She couldn’t even remember the last time she took any care in her appearance.   It was probably over a year ago, she mused.

Ruby found her with her head in her hands and tugging at her own hair in frustration.  She raced over and gently pulled her hands away so she could stop hurting herself.  It took a little bit of effort as Regina was putting up a fight but she soon lost the energy to. 

“Shhhh Sweetie...I’m here.” She cooed again and kissed her forehead as she held her hands.  “Would you like a cup of tea while I do dinner?” Ruby asked and knelt in front of her.

Regina bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head in anger.  She didn’t want any damn tea. 

She gave her a weak push and made her way to the patio doors and opened them up with a struggle. 

Noodle had followed Regina in after Henry had left and hadn’t left her side.  He followed her to the door and licked at her hand once the doors were opened and kept nudging at it. 

She felt so angry at the world but having Noodle there wanting to give her comfort, helped slowly calm herself down.  Regina struggled to stroke him because of the fatigue and pain that was now starting to crush her.  It was like he sensed she was struggling so he put his head in her lap instead and kept still.  Big brown eyes looked up and watched her. 

Ruby was in the doorway and watched her with Noodle.  Once she saw the woman was a bit calmer she went to do their dinner.  She decided to warm up some soup in a mug as she could tell Regina would struggle eating after her emotional outburst.

She warmed up some bread and buttered it then put that with a mug of nutritious soup on a tray.  She walked out to the patio and placed it on the black wrought iron table with a glass cover.  

Regina had transferred over to one of the sun loungers so she could stretch out and be more comfortable. 

Ruby spoke softly about the meal she had brought her and went to fetch them both blankets.  It wasn’t freezing but it wasn’t really warm either.  Ruby gently put a few fluffy blankets over her and a cushion for her head then placed the tray onto her lap. 

Ruby knew Regina preferred silence after an episode and she gave her that as they ate. 

Once Ruby had finished her own food and Regina had eaten most of her own, she took the tray off her lap and sat on the lounge next to her.  She took her hand and held it in Regina’s lap.  Regina made no effort to hold her hand back, she left it limp.

“Henry is adorable, isn’t he?” Ruby commented as she watched the sunset. 

Regina only gave a slight nod of her head to show her agreement.  She did think he was adorable and so full of life.  Part of her was jealous and the other twisted part wondered how long it would take him to realise just how awful the world is. 

Regina wasn’t happy with Ruby though.  She had bought strangers into her house without telling her.  A beautiful stranger with the cutest smile and the cutest child saw how disgusting she was. 

With a scowl she gave Ruby’s hand a harsh push away.  She wasn’t just unhappy, she was angry with her.  While whimpering quietly from the pain she transferred back into her wheelchair and used the through floor lift to go upstairs.

Ruby kept calm throughout, used to Regina’s changing moods.  Ruby and Noodle followed Regina up to the bedroom.

Regina was exhausted and was close to tears from the mental and physical pain.  She didn’t want Ruby to help her get dressed but she was too tired to fight. 

Once dressed and she used the bathroom, Regina got into bed.  Noodle lay next to her, giving her face kisses. 

Ruby prepared her for the night and took her medication out of the safe. She brought up a few bottles of water and placed them on her bedside table.  She watched Regina take the medication to make sure she wasn’t hiding meds again.  Regina lay down against her pillows and turned away from Ruby. 

Ruby bent over and kissed her head.  “Love you Gina, I’m going to take Noodle for his walk.  I’m sorry you weren’t warned about the visit, but Henry really needed to pee.” She apologised and left the room after no indication that she had been heard. 

Regina pulled the duvet higher up to her face and made sure she heard the front door go before she burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks the rotten tomatoes and cabbages*
> 
> Yeah sorry the meeting was so so short but it's all part of the journey, I promise. I have a lot of story to tell.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys who leave Kudos and comments are awesome! I am so glad (and suprised) people are enjoying this fic.  
> Im not really happy with this chapter but I hope it's okay enough that you don't completely abandon the story. <3

Emma’s first half week of work went well.  Everyone at the Sherriff’s office liked her and she took to the job like a duck to water.  It was a quiet town so there was very little crime and Emma was grateful to be able to bring Henry up somewhere like that. 

Henry loved every second of his new school and had made lots of new friends by the end of Friday.  His enthusiasm and energy made him a positive target for his peers.  People wanted to be near him and everyone helped out to make sure he was fine at school.

 He didn’t need much help and was largely independent; it was mainly to orientate him around the school. 

Emma had found a small house to rent and they were going to move in at the weekend.  It was ideal for them both.  Only a ten minute walk to the school and work was a five minute drive from the school. 

The blonde had to pinch herself that this was really happening.  It all seemed too good to be true, like they were in some sort of fairytale.

Ruby had the weekend off as it was Cora’s weekend at the mansion, so she offered to help with the move.   There wasn’t exactly anything to move but she was allowed to decorate and this was the first place she had ever had where she could. 

The house was fully furnished as well, so that took a lot of pressure off Emma.   Part of her was also relieved because if for some reason Killian ever found them she wouldn’t have to take much again.  She really did want to put down roots in this area, she could see Henry thriving here. 

Emma was still getting nightmares and lived off only minimal sleep.  However she could just about deal with them since Henry was so happy and settled. 

Emma was so preoccupied with work and Henry she barely had time to deal with the past.  But she preferred it that way as she didn’t want to have to deal with the abuse, low self esteem and self harming. 

...

A month went by in a flash and mother and son were soon in a routine that worked.  Emma worked nine to five as the deputy Sherriff. 

Emma would drop him off at school then go to work.  He would attend the after school club until four pm and take the school bus back to Granny’s and do his homework there under the watchful eyes of Ruby, Granny and the regulars.  They all loved the bubbly little boy and found it refreshing to have a new energy in the town.

Likewise the town adored the new deputy Sherriff who always took the time to introduce herself to new people and say hello to others on the street. 

Emma enjoyed the job apart from the abundance of paperwork that needed to do at times.   

Most evenings Ruby came round after being at Regina’s and the two adults would chat and watch tv. 

Half the time Emma invited her to stay over so Ruby had unofficially become Emma’s roommate. 

They grew closer and although Emma wouldn’t tell her much about her recent past, she did tell her briefly about growing up in foster care and Henry was the only family she had.

In turn Ruby told Emma stories about growing up with Regina and Kathryn once she moved to Storybrooke when she was ten. 

She revealed that both her parents were murdered and that was why she moved here to live with Granny. 

However, she did not reveal more in regards to that as it was still painful to discuss most of the time. 

She talked about their time in Boarding school and how Granny was actually Regina’s nanny until she was eight and was sent to boarding school. 

Granny worked part time as a nanny for Regina during holidays when she came back home. Her parents loved Granny so much they gave her a loan to start the Diner. 

Ruby explained that Kathryn and Regina are both thirty four and Ruby is thirty but even so, they took Ruby under her wing and gave her invaluable support in dealing with the trauma of losing her parents. 

Ruby refrained from talking about how Regina was doing now as she didn’t want Regina to find out and ruin her currently fragile relationship.  Regina’s refusal to communicate with Ruby was extremely painful for the younger woman.

...

The same four weeks did not treat Regina with the same kindness. 

Her mood lowered and she refused to communicate at all with Ruby.  She was unfairly taking her sadness and frustration out on her friend. 

Her mind kept wandering to the kindness of Henry and the beauty of Emma. This in turn made her obsess over the perceived failings in her life; such as not having a child.

She truly believed she would never have one now that she had missed her chance with Robin. 

She barely ate and looked after herself even less than before.  Regina felt she had no future and was struggling to deal with her dark thoughts. 

Regina barely left her bed and she felt her pain increase due to the decline in her mental health.

Before Robin; Regina and Ruby had around a two year long friends with benefits arrangement.  Now, Regina believed that Ruby would never ever look at her the same way again. She knew she made her sick and Ruby only stuck around because she felt sorry for her.

Kathryn, Ruby, Granny and her parents were getting more and more concerned as time went on.  They were begging her to eat more but Regina ate the bare minimum. 

She felt like giving up again but since all her medication was locked away after her attempt a year ago, she had no access to tablets, sharps or alcohol.    

...

Emma was panicking as David called in sick with a vomiting bug.  He was supposed to do the twilight shift until ten pm but she was needed to cover. 

Ruby could look after Henry at the Diner until she had to leave for Regina’s but she asked Kathryn if she could stay longer with Regina.  Unfortunately she was going to a concert in the next City with her boyfriend. 

Granny would be working until ten as well so Emma didn’t want Henry to be up that late or be left at the B & B on her own.  Emma didn’t want to leave Henry with anyone else and no one could cover the shift. 

Ruby bit her lip before texting Regina, even though she had ignored every other text for the last months.

**Gina, Emma is stuck and has no one to look after Henry while she covers a shift.  Please can I bring him with me, he won’t be any fuss and will be asleep by 9pm.  I promise to not let him bother you if you want to be on your own and I won’t let Emma in when she picks him up.  He has missed you and Noodle though, he always asks about you both. Love you, Red.**

....

Regina was in the living room with Kathryn as she received the text.  Anxiety rose in her chest at the thought of people coming into the house.  She gave the phone to Kathryn so she could read it.

“Yeah Red asked me to stay on tonight which I would have but I have that concert tonight.”  Kathryn explained softly and gave her phone back to the woman.  Kathryn slowly rubbed her arm as she noticed the anxiety. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Gina.”

Regina looked down at the message again and re read it a few more times.

_Henry was a sweet boy and Noodle absolutely adored him.  Maybe his enthusiasm would help me feel something other than pain for once.  I have nothing to lose, I can’t feel any worse._

She felt a slight flutter in her stomach at the thought of seeing Emma again.  She knew she would only be making herself feel worse after but part of her did want to see Emma. 

**...**

**Okay.  He can come with you.  She can come in to collect him if she wants.**

Ruby sighed in relief once she received that text, knowing just how stressed Emma was getting over this and immediately rang the blonde.

“Hi Red.”

“Hey Emma, it’s all sorted.  Gina has agreed I can bring him with me tonight.”

“Oh thank you so much Red.  You have no idea how much of a relief that is. Please thank her a million times for me.”

Ruby chuckled at that, “I will do.  I have to say though I’m pretty surprised, but I’m glad.”

“Well I’m extremely grateful for her.  I will pick you and him up just after ten.”

“Okay babe, I hope the rest of your shift goes well.  And you better remember to eat.”

“I will mum.” She laughed and shook her head.  “See you tonight.”

Emma hung up and let out a long, relieved sigh. 

...

Regina touched her hair and realised just how greasy it was.  Bringing her tee shirt up to her nose, she winced at how bad she was smelling.  She took her phone and wrote on it.

“ **When have I last had a bath**?”  The last few weeks had merged and had no real sense of time.

“It has been two weeks.”  Kathryn told her gently not wanting to do anything to put her off getting a wash. 

“ **Really?** ” she typed in shock.  “ **Well Henry is coming round with Ruby.  I should probably have a bath.”**

“I will get it running right away.  Lavender and Epsom salts?”  Kathryn asked as she stood up and put the wheelchair next to Regina. 

Regina nodded before slowly and carefully getting into her wheelchair.  Regina was feeling weaker than usual since she had barely been doing any physio exercises.

“Did you decide to let Ruby bring Henry?” Kathryn asked and Regina gave a nod.  “Good, I know from Frederick, who is his PE teacher, that he talks about you and Noodle a lot.”

Regina looked at her in astonishment.  “Yup.  He thinks Noodle is the best animal on the planet and he wants to help you to be happy.”  Kathryn revealed with a warm smile. 

Regina didn’t know what to think about that new piece of information so she wheeled herself to the lift and made her way to the bathroom.   The blonde however did notice the very faint hint of a smile before Regina turned away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for some amazing comments. You guys are just the damn best! <3 <3  
> Here is another chapter for you beauties.

Ruby and Henry took a walk on the beach and had a paddle before making their way over to Regina’s house.  He was beyond excited to visit them and show Regina his stories and drawings of Noodle.

“Do you think she will like them?”  He asked Ruby as they made their way down the street. 

“I know she is going to love them.  But I need you to remember Henry, she may not be up to spending time with you.  I need you to be on your best behaviour okay?”  Ruby explained with a gentle voice.

“I understand Red. I have stuff to do if she doesn’t want company.”  Henry said with a warm smile that charmed the socks off of everyone.

“You’re pretty amazing, Hen.” Ruby said with a grin and Henry smiled and gave his shoulders a shrug.

...

“That’s weird, Kat’s car is still here.”  Ruby said to herself out loud. 

“Yay! I can’t wait to meet your other friend too.” He squealed and pushed Ruby along the driveway so they could speed up.

Ruby smiled and went a bit faster for him.  She opened the door and let them both in to find Noodle sat in the middle of the foyer waiting for her arrival.  As soon as he saw Henry his tail wagged even faster and let out an excited bark.

“Noodle!” Henry squealed and ran in his direction.  The black and furry blur met him in the middle and they embraced like long lost friends.

Kathryn walked out of the living room and grinned at the young boy she had not met yet and Noodle. 

“And I thought Noodle loved me the most.”  She said quietly with a smirk to Ruby.

Ruby smiled back and shook her head, “We’ve all been replaced.”  Ruby walked up to Kathryn and hugged her.  “I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve been face to face.  How are you doing?”

“I am doing well and how are you?”  She asked, pulling away to cup her face.

“Yeah...up and down you know?” she whispered, giving Kathryn a sad smile.  They had spoken on the phone a few times about their worries for Regina and at her blanking of Ruby.

Kathryn nodded in understanding and kissed her forehead.  “I think you will be pleasantly surprised, Red.”  Kathryn gave her a slight smirk but didn’t expand further.

Ruby gave her a confused glance but didn’t push.  “Why are you still here by the way?”

“Regina asked me to run a few errands so I had to make a few phone calls and get things sorted for Henry’s visit.”

“Like what?”

“You’ll see.” She smirked and gave her cheek a kiss.  “I’m going to have to go.” 

Kathryn walked up to Henry and Noodle who were cuddling and kissing each other.  “Hi Henry, I’m Kathryn but you can call me Kat if you like?”  She introduced herself and put a hand on his shoulder.

Henry gave her a grin and stood up, putting his hand out to her.  “It’s very nice to meet you Kat.

Kathryn smiled at his manners, “I have to go now but I’ve heard so many good things about you from Mr Midas.”

“You have?”

“Oh I have.  He tells me you are a model student and you’ve settled in fantastically well.”

Henry beamed with pride and his chest puffed out a tad.  “I love school and Mr Midas is one of my favourite teachers after Miss Blanchard.”

“Well I know he will love to hear that.  Now, Henry I want to make sure you know to be physically gentle with Regina.  She is in a lot of pain all the time.”

Henry looked at her with a serious expression.  “I understand Kat.  I promise to be gentle and if I know she is getting too tired I have lots of things to keep myself busy.”

Kathryn smiled up at him and gave his shoulder a squeeze.  “I’m leaving her in safe hands then.  You have a good night and I hope to see you soon. Regina is in the living room.”

The blonde gave Ruby another hug and Ruby made her promise to ring her after the date with all the sordid details.

“Can we go see Regina now?”  Henry asked Ruby while he scratched behind Noodle’s ear.

“Let’s go.” 

...

Regina had a bath and was allowed some extra painkillers to help her get through the day. 

While Kathryn dried her off she looked in the mirror and saw how pale and gaunt her face was.  There were dark bags under her eyes and had a few spots. 

She shook her head and got Kathryn’s attention.   Regina made a sign with her hand that imitated putting make up on.

“You want me to do your make up?” Kathryn asked trying to hide her shock by keeping her face still.

Regina looked down shyly and nodded.  It had been quite some time since she last wore make up.  Regina didn’t want to look scary for Henry, not that he would be using the magnifier on her face or anything.  She wouldn’t admit to herself that she didn’t want to look awful for Emma if she came in.

Once dressed and Kathryn had put some light make up on, Regina text her mother. Cora was in the city working, and was asked to get one of her assistants to buy and bring over a few board games and cards that were designed for visually impaired people. 

She got Kathryn to go to the store to buy some snacks for him and craft stuff.  She didn’t want Henry bored and it was nice for Regina to focus on a task. 

Kathryn gladly did all that for her as it was a change from how the last month had gone.

...

The games were brought round not long before Henry was due since they came all the way from the city.  

Kathryn had put out snacks in the living room and with Regina helping they put out a load of art supplies out on the large marble table. 

“You look beautiful by the way, Gina.”  Kathryn told her with a warm smile.  It wasn’t just that she was wearing make up but because her oldest friend for a few hours was almost like how she had used to be. 

This was the woman who had such drive and passion for her work, her hobbies and her friends.  This was the woman who would do absolutely anything for her loved ones and made Kathryn laugh like no other.  She thought she would never see glimpses of her again and it caused a lump in her throat.

Regina looked away and wheeled herself over to the table to straighten the art supplies up, not wanting to acknowledge that compliment. 

Before Kathryn could say anything else she could hear the front door opening. 

“I will see you tomorrow Gina, have fun.”  Kathryn walked over and kissed the top of her head before leaving the room.

...

Regina smiled as she saw Henry walk in with Noodle glued to his side.  Henry was using his cane to navigate himself into the room. 

 _“Hello Henry.”_ Regina typed onto the tablet using similar software to Henry’s.

Henry’s head turned toward the computerised voice, “Regina, hi!” He made his way over and apologised for knocking her footrests with his cane.

_“It’s quite alright.”_

Henry made his way to her side again and took his backpack off to pull out his folder.  “I did these for you.”  Henry gave a folder full of drawings and stories about Noodle and herself going on magical adventures.

“ _You did these for me?”_ The computerised voice couldn’t put across the shock.

“Yeah, they are kind of like fairytales where you and Noodle go off and meet other fairytale characters and have adventures together.”  Henry grinned at Regina.

Regina felt a lump in her throat and tears start to form in her eyes.  She wiped at her eyes and carefully closed the folder.  _“I will read through them tonight.  Thank you so much Henry, your pictures are beautiful.”_   She was honestly impressed by the talent he had for his age. 

“No rush.”  Henry smiled and gave a shrug. 

“ _I didn’t know you were such an amazing artist but I am glad I bought all these art supplies for you now.”_   She typed and gently ran her fingers through his shaggy brown hair.  _“Follow me and I will lead you to the table where everything is.”_

“Awesome!” He said with a grin and held on to Regina’s arm as she led them to the table.

Ruby kept her distance as the pair met again.  She also needed that time to get over the shock of Regina wearing make up seeing her with some life back in her eyes. 

As she watched the pair go through all the supplies on the table, she went to get them all some drinks. 

Ruby saw the spread of food on the kitchen table and it reminded her of the sleepovers they used to have at the mansion during the holidays. Regina and Kathryn would always make sure they had all of her favourites there even the items the two older girls didn’t like. 

Ruby had to stop herself from crying as she saw the pickled gherkins and beetroot in bowls.  Regina hated them but she always got the best stuff for Ruby.  Maybe the former Mayor was starting to forgive her.

...

The trio spent the majority of the evening making art in various forms.  Regina was in awe of Henry’s talent. 

Regina had to get on the couch after an hour as she was exhausted. 

While napping, Henry and Ruby ate a plate full of food.  Once they were done, Henry took a pad, some pencils and sat next to Regina after she woke up. 

He told her all about his week at school and the most interesting things he had learnt. 

Around half eight he was getting tired.   Regina had bought and downloaded some cartoons that were audio described.  They sat and watched a couple before Henry fell asleep with his head on her lap. 

Regina looked down at the young boy whose hair she had been slowly stroking as he fallen asleep.  He had encouraged it while half asleep, moving her hand to his hair.  A small but sad smile graced her face as he watched him sleep and wondered what it would have been like to have a child of her own.

Ruby was on the other side of Regina and chanced her luck by attempting to put her arm over Regina’s shoulders.  This time Regina didn’t push her off.  In fact she leant a little into Ruby and gave her cheek a kiss.  _“Thank you.”_   She typed on her phone and showed Ruby.

Ruby looked at her in shock at the kiss and whispered, “What are you thanking me for?” 

 _“For not leaving me.  I know you must hate me and I’ve ruined your lives but I can’t do this without you and Kat.  I love you both so much.”_  

A few tears fell as she wrote out the message.

Ruby shook her head as she read her message.  Ruby cupped her chin and made Regina look at her, “We both love you more than anything and no you haven’t ruined our lives.  We are grateful to have such an amazing, beautiful, caring person in our lives, Gina.  We would do anything for you as I know you would do the same for us.  I wish I could take the pain away both in your body and in your mind.”

She looked at her lovingly while stroking her cheek with the back of her fingers.  Ruby placed a soft, tender kiss to her lips.  “I don’t know what I would do without you Gina.  You saved me, growing up; you and Kat.” 

The kiss was platonic but it reminded Regina of the years they had fun, sexually together.  They weren’t compatible as romantic life partners but they sure as hell clicked sexually back in the day.  But as she remembered, that was a lifetime ago.

Tears were streaming down both of their faces before Regina went back to stroking Henry’s hair and leant against Ruby as she held her. 

They both were startled by a knock on the front door.  Ruby checked the time after wiping her face, “That should be Emma.  Shall I carry Henry out or would you like to meet her properly?”

Regina wiped at her eyes with her sleeves before taking a deep breath and nodded.  Regina made a come hither motion with her hand to indicate Emma could come in. 

Ruby smiled and kissed her cheek, “I know you will love Emma once you get to know her.”  Ruby left the pair and Noodle followed Ruby, curious to see who it was knocking at the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I have actually had this mostly written for a few weeks now. But things have not been great for me. I <3 anxiety...said no one ever. Thank you so so so so x 1000000000 much for the comments and the kudos. Made me smile each time. I hope you like this next chapter.

 

During her break she had gone to the local florist.  After spending a good ten minutes at looking at everything she made her decision on a lavender plant.  Emma remembered smelling it in the house so thought it can't be a bad choice.

  
The twilight shift mainly consisted of paperwork and a call out to disperse some teenagers, who were hanging outside a shop.  They were just bored and loud but overall harmless.  
  
The Deputy was pretty tired but looking forward to getting back to Henry.  It was hard to be away from her son especially since she didn't know where Killian was.  But she was trying her best to manage and she knew she could pretty much trust Ruby. 

The longer she stayed in town the more comfortable she was becoming.   Dare she say it, but it was starting to feel like a home to the Deputy.   
  
She hadn't opened up about her abusive ex though.   All Ruby knew was Henry didn't like her old boyfriend and he was ecstatic to be living here.     
  
Emma was so grateful that Regina agreed to let Henry stay.  It was unexpected after she ran away from Emma. 

A grin formed as she thought about how happy Henry would be to meet Regina and Noodle again.  His stories and pictures were something else.  Emma had to pinch herself that such a talented, intelligent and thoughtful boy came from her.    
  
The patrol car stopped outside Regina’s mansion and keys were pulled out of the ignition as she got out. 

Opening the boot, Emma pulled out a lavender plant that was housed in a large, ornate plant pot.  Emma locked the car and made her way up the garden path. 

She knocked on the front door and tried to stifle a yawn that was threatening to escape.  
The blonde smiled as she saw Ruby appear behind the door.  "Hey Rubes."

  
"Hey Em, come in." She smiled back and looked over the plant in the Deputy Sherriff’s hands.    
  
"I got Regina a thank you gift, you know for letting Henry stay."  
  
Ruby grinned and gave her a one armed hug.  "She will love it.   She wants you to come in by the way." She released her and led her into the living room.  
  
Emma could see that her friend was looking a lot happier than she had been for the last month.  She stored that piece of information away to ask her at a later date. 

Once she was in the living, her heart melted at the sight of Henry asleep on Regina’s lap.  Noodle had fallen asleep next to him with his own head on Henry’s hip.   
  
"Hey." Emma greeted Regina quietly with a warm smile.  "Thank you so much for letting him stay."  
  
Regina gave her a small smile and a shrug to say it was not a problem.    
  
Emma held the plant pot up, "A thank you present.  I didn't know if you liked chocolate or wine so I decided since your house smelt of lavender, I thought why not get you a plant." She rambled.

Regina’s smile had caught her off guard a little.  She wasn't even expecting to see the recluse let alone have her smile at her.  
  
Regina stared at the plant and couldn't help but smile.  It was a very thoughtful gift from the blonde.  A gift from a stunning blonde who was smiling at her and making her feel things she hadn't in such a long time. 

Regina looked back down at her phone and typed, " _Thank you.  That was very thoughtful of you_."   The brunette also needed an excuse not to get caught staring at the beautiful blonde. She showed the screen to Emma who read it and gave her a charming smile.  

"Hey its not a problem.  It's nice to finally meet you." She put her hand out for the brunette to shake.    
  
The brunette hesitated as she stared at the offered hand.  After a few beats she pulled her hand away from stroking Henry’s hair and shook it.  She pushed aside how nice it felt to touch the blonde and ignored the faint pinking of her cheeks that she could feel forming.  
  
Emma gave her a gentle squeeze and pulled away.  "He's been non stop talking about you and Noodle. " She said again with another one of her charming smiles.  "Did he show you his work?"     
  
Regina wished the blonde would stop smiling like that at her, she's finding it increasingly hard to concentrate on what Emma is saying.  
  
However, the mention of his work caught her attention and made her smile.  She nodded and picked up her phone.  " _I looked through a few but I was saving them for later.  He really is talented.  You must be very proud._ "  
  
Emma nodded and she looked down at her sleeping son with pride shining in her eyes.  "I'm incredibly proud.  I honestly have no idea where he gets his talent from.  I can't even draw a stick man." 

She chuckled and knelt down in front of them so she could stroke his back.  She felt her heart speed up somewhat as Emma got closer to her.  They were at eye level now and she could see how green they are.    
  
Regina shook her head as she pushed away all of those thoughts she couldn't have and typed on her phone again.  " _The work he has done tonight is on the table in the corner.  It's quite remarkable."_     
  
Emma stood up and went over to the table to see what he had done.  She picked up a picture of what she believed to be Noodle, which was done as a collage.   

After going over each piece, Emma stopped as she saw a beautiful pencil drawn portrait of a horse.  Picking it up, she went up to Regina and showed it her.  "Did you do this? It's beautiful." Her eyes locked with Regina’s. 

The brunette gave her a brief sad smile  and a shrug as she stared back at Henry and nodded. 

 Art was one of her passions growing up that was mainly hidden from her mother.    Cora had no patience for Regina wasting her time on such a frivolous hobby.   Regina kept it up though while in boarding school then college and found it to be an escape.  
  
"Gina is incredibly talented.  A few of these paintings are hers." Ruby told her as she saw Regina close up a bit.  "The two horse paintings at each side of the mirror there."    
  
Emma walked up to them and tried to take in every last bit.  "These are magnificent, Regina."   
  
"Did you used to have horses?" Emma asked as she turned round to walk back to Regina.    
  
Regina felt her heart ache as she was reminded again that she could not ride anymore, of everything she has lost.   She swallowed down a lump in her throat as willed herself not to cry.    
  
Ruby could see a flush in her face that was indicative of Regina about to cry, so she cut in.  "It's probably best if I get you ready now Regina if you don’t mind, I'm exhausted and I still need to take Noodle for a walk."    
  
Regina nodded, thankful for Ruby's change of topic.  Horse riding had always been Regina’s number one love since being a little girl.  The brunette would ride any free chance she got.  But since she started to struggle to walk she had stopped riding altogether.    
  
Emma could sense the change in mood and she could kick herself for it.  "Yeah I should get Henry back home.  Thank you again for letting him stay, it was a massive help for me."  
  
Regina nodded unable to look up at her and typed, " _It was lovely to have him here.  Maybe he can come round again sometime."_  
  
"Yeah?" Emma asked with a smile.  "I'm sure he would love that, we'll arrange something soon then."  
  
Regina gave a small smile but kept her eyes on Henry as the blonde picked her son up.  With Emma being so close she got a whiff of her perfume.  She cleared her throat, putting her hand to her mouth as she ignored how good Emma smelt.  
  
"I'll see you both later. Can you get the door for me and his bag, Rubes?"  Emma asked and gave Regina a smile and a small wave of her fingers as the brunette briefly put her head up to watch her go.  
  
Regina mirrored the small wave before she transferred to her wheelchair and went out to the back garden.  She felt the walls close in on her and incredibly flustered.  The cool breeze helped her feel not quite as enclosed but the panic was still lingering inside her.    
  
"Can I crash tonight?" Ruby asked her as she opened the car door for Emma to put Henry in the back seat.  
  
"Sure....is she okay? Did I say the wrong thing about the horses?"  
  
Ruby sighed and put the bag in the boot.  "It's a sensitive subject.   But seriously I haven't seen her like that for such a long while.  It was so good to see her almost back to her old self for a few hours.  Thank you." Her voice cracked and she pulled the blonde into a fierce hug.  
  
"Hey I have no idea what I did but no worries."  Emma hugged her back.  "Regina seems nice and if my son feels comfortable enough to fall asleep on her that says enough for me." She chuckled and stroked the woman's back.    
  
Ruby wiped at her eyes as she pulled away.  "She's the best but life has been shit to her the last few years."  Emma gave her an understanding look.    
  
"You've got your key I gave you?" She asked reaching up to squeeze her shoulder.  
  
"I do, thank you.  I won't be much longer.   Give that sweetheart a kiss from me." Ruby kissed Emma's cheek and walked back into the house.    
  
Emma waited until Ruby was inside before she turned the ignition and drove back home.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I had some major writers block, wasn't in a good place and have spent a lot of time trying to lose weight and get fit. 
> 
> I had to force this out but hopefully you will like it.
> 
> And a massive massive massive thank you for all the comments and kudos. It really does make a massive difference to me and means so much.

Two months had passed since Emma met Regina properly. Since then, Henry would stay with Ruby at the Diner then go to Regina's every Friday.

On a friday, Emma would have some time to herself. She loved her son more than anything in this world. But being able to get some safe time on her own was a godsend.

Those evenings were mainly spent going to the gym or taking an extra long run. Or she would pig out on takeaway while enjoying a film Henry was too young to see after doing some housework or reading.

  
...

  
During those two months worth of visits, Regina wasn't able to predict herself. Some nights she was able to stay downstairs until he left at ten. But there were a few times she had to go up earlier.

Henry would happily play with Noodle while Ruby got Regina ready for bed. There were a few occasions where she couldn't get out of bed at all.

Henry was respectful though and let her rest, he still loved coming round and playing with Noodle.

  
Regina loved having him over. She especially loved spoiling the boy, Henry had so much energy and love for life that it was bound to seep a little into Regina.

She would organise various activities for him after dinner. Mainly they involved arts and crafts. They would also watch cartoons and movies. Regina always making sure they were audio described. She found it a little distracting at times and struggled concentrating at the best of times. But it was worth it to see Henry happy and engaged. It was giving her more of a purpose in life; planning and engaging in those activities with the optimistic boy.

  
Regina enjoyed teaching Henry new drawing techniques and his skills were coming along really well. Each Friday Regina was amazed at how talented and advanced the ten year old was.

She was similar in skill at his age but she didn't have the barrier of a visual impairment at that time.

" _You've come on so well, Henry. Such a talented boy_." The automated voice read out.

"I practice everyday, Gina!" He said with a proud grin. He put the magnifier closer so he could inspect his work again. "I've nearly filled all the books you've got me."

" _Really? Well luckily I have something for you._ "

"Yeah? What is it?" He gasped, and looked at her.

" _Wait here for me, I won't be a minute._ " Regina smiled and wheeled herself over to the cabinet where she had hid his presents.

She struggled with the weight but managed to put the two boxes on her lap. Once back at the table, Regina placed the boxes on it.

  
Henry reached forward and could feel how large and heavy they were.

"Are these for me?" He gasped in shock and couldn't believe it.

" _Yes they are for you._ " Regina replied.

He squealed in excitement and very very carefully unwrapped his present.

Ruby walked in after finishing cleaning up the kitchen.  "Well someone sounds excited." She chuckled after hearing him.

Henry gave her a big grin and asked her to help him pick it up so he could finish unwrapping the paper. He grabbed his magnifier and read the front of the box.

He was stunned into silence as he read that it was a powerful, brand new touchscreen laptop.  His bottom lip started to quiver as he put the magnifier on the table and burst into tears. His little arms wrapped themselves around her neck as he held on tight. He sobbed into her shoulder.

  
Regina's heart broke at the sight and she tried to force herself to speak but she just couldn't. She wanted to comfort him and find out what she had done wrong.

Instead she wrapped her arms tight around him. Ruby was just in as much shock and the two women looked at each other. Regina looked devastated and rocked him gently.

  
"Sweetheart what's wrong?" Ruby asked, rubbing both of their backs. Henry carried on crying, not able to answer. After a few minutes he still hadn't stopped so Ruby left the room and rang Emma.

"Hey Rubes." Emma greeted between pants, as she slowed down from her run.

  
"Hi Emma, I was wondering if you could come round now. Regina bought Henry a present and he won't stop crying." Ruby told her as calmly as she could.

  
Emma felt her stomach drop at the thought of her son crying. It was a rare occurrence so that's what scared her. "I'm ten minutes away." Emma hung up and ran as fast as she could to Regina's house.

  
Ruby let her in as soon as she heard a knock on the door.

"How is he?" She asked walking straight in and went to the living room. Before Ruby could answer, Emma saw for herself.

Henry was sat in Regina's lap in the wheelchair, curled up against her. He had finally stopped crying and had unconsciously started to suck on the edge of Regina's collar. That was an old habit he did when he wasn't feeling well and getting comforted.

Emma knelt down in front of them and she stroked his arm. "How are you feeling sweetheart?" She asked softly, giving him a warm, motherly smile.

"I'm okay now." He replied quietly then went back to sucking on the collar. Regina didn't care that the collar was getting soaked. She was more relieved that he had finally started to calm down. Regina was too exhausted to keep stroking and rocking him, instead she kept her arms around him.

  
"Let's get you off Regina, sweetheart." Emma said as she stood up, seeing how exhausted Regina looked. Henry shook his head, not wanting to leave the comfort of his friend. He clung tighter onto the brunette. Regina gave her a weak smile and pulled her hand to her head and did a phone motion. Ruby caught sight of the instruction and grabbed her mobile.

Regina wrote a message and played it, " _Henry if you get up, then we can all get on the couch and cuddle. Does that sound okay?"_

Henry nodded and carefully got off her lap. Noodle had ran to him as soon as he started crying and kept as close as possible. Nudging his back every so often.

Noodle followed him as Henry sat in the middle of the couch and sat on the floor since he hadn't been given permission to get on there.

Regina transfered to the couch and put her legs out in front of her on the L shaped part. He cuddled back up to her and put her collar back in his mouth. Henry put his hand out for his mum who took it and sat next to him. She gently rubbed his back and quietly sang him his favourite lullaby as a young child until he fell asleep.

"What happened?" Emma whispered softly to Regina as she passed her, her phone.

Regina struggled to fight off a yawn as she took the phone and typed, " **I gave him a present and as he read what the first one was he just burst into tears and didn't stop**."

  
Emma frowned in confusion, "What did you buy him?"

  
Regina pointed to the box behind them on the table on the other side of the room. Emma got up and went to take a look. "Shit....Regina, this is too much." She shook her head as she examined the laptop.

Emma turned and looked at the woman, "This is over three thousand dollars, you can't buy him this!" She whispered harshly so as not to wake Henry. Emma couldn't believe that Regina had spent that much money on her son.

" **I have more money than I know what to do with."** Regina wrote down, closing in on herself at Emma's reaction. Her head was lowered as she put her phone out to Emma.

The blonde took the phone and sighed before giving it back.  "It's too much.....you should have talked to me about it first." Emma said with far less harshness in her voice.

More than anything she felt jealous. It took her years to finally save enough to get away from Killian.

She had to go without food sometimes and forget about new clothes or a decent phone. The only expensive things she was able to buy were Henry's equipment and that was only after receiving a few bonuses from high profile bail jumpers.

The last year she mainly lived off noodles and cheapest, nastiest coffee. She would always make sure he had a healthy diet though and he was always in clean clothes. She couldnt afford any luxuries for him though.  

"I can't let you spend that much on him." She whispered and looked over at the laptop. Emma didn't want to know what was in the other wrapped box.

" **I want to though. He's such a special boy and I wanted to treat him. I should have asked first though."** Regina wrote down and gave her back the phone. Biting down hard on her lip so she didn't cry, Regina carefully pushed Henry off her.

She got back into her wheelchair and left the room to go to her bedroom, not acknowledging anyone on the way.

  
"Regina..." She called out but let her go as the other woman didn't stop. She felt awful about the way she reacted but at the same time felt incredibly inferior and a disappointment as a mother. Her shoulders dropped and turned to look at her sleeping son.

  
"Can you tell her I'm sorry....and that I would like to talk to her when she's up for it. The present is incredibly generous." Emma explained to Ruby, while she roughly ran her fingers through her hair.

  
"I will do." Ruby walked up to her and gently pulled her hand away from her hair. She then hugged her. "In her defence, she is absolutely loaded. She doesn't quite have the same type of view on money as others. "

  
Emma sighed and wanted to talk about how hard she struggled, with Ruby. But she couldn't bring herself too.

The urge right now to cut was strong. She hadn't since the first few weeks of being in Storybrooke.

  
Emma kept thinking about the pained look on Regina's face. The woman was only trying to be nice and her own jealousy and inferiority complex attacked instead. Emma shook her head and pulled away from Ruby.

...

Emma and the still sleeping Henry went home in a taxi.

Ruby walked upstairs and found Regina lying on the bed with her pants off and her pyjamas next to her.

"Do you need help?" Ruby asked walking to the side of the bed.

  
Regina shook her head. But in fact she was in tired and couldn't face dressing herself. Ruby could see how tired she was so she lay next to her after covering her best friend with a blanket.

Ruby lay on her side and the pair looked into each others eyes. "She wanted me to tell you she is sorry. And would like to talk to you once you're ready."

  
Regina looked away as she listened but the brunette nodded in acknowledgment.

  
"We are good friends now but I know absolutely nothing about her pre coming here, other than she was a bail bondsperson. I can't imagine it pays all that well and she didn't have a job when she came here. So... I'm thinking she may have struggled.." Regina put her finger on Ruby's plump lips to silence her.

Ruby kept quiet and stared at Regina. She knew the look that her friend was giving her.

"Do you want me to stay the night?" Ruby whispered.

Regina nodded and leant forward to press her lips against hers.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swanqueen is endgame I promise :o.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man thank you so much for the comments and kudos :D. Thought I'd give you the next small chapter.

Ruby gently kissed her back for a few seconds before pulling away. "Gina." She said softly. "We shouldn't. It's been years since the last time and I don't want to complicate things between us." Ruby tried to explain as tenderly as she could while her hand stroked her face, tucking a strand of hair behind Regina's ear.

"I love you very much and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. And you know full well we never had tender and sweet sex." She smirked a little. "And I'm not in the mood to have my ass caned like old times." Ruby teased.

Regina felt rejected by Ruby, but she understood that no one would ever want her now. She was broken and a mess. The older brunette nodded and with a wince, lay on her back.

"I love you Gina, and you are still as gorgeous as you've ever been."

Regina scoffed and shook her head. She knew the other girl was just trying to make her feel better after the rejection.

"We both know we would never work out romantically and right now, you are not in the right head space for our old lifestyle." Ruby kept trying to explain. Regina didn't want a romantic relationship with her. She needed to feel wanted. To feel something other than mental and physical pain right now.

Regina felt she had made a right mess of things with Emma and Henry and knew Emma would never be interested in someone like her.

They had seen each other most Fridays and the blonde always bought her another potted plant. It was so incredibly thoughtful and Regina took her time planning out where it was going to be planted or put in the house.

However, Regina could barely spend more than a few minutes with her. Various reasons and excuses held her back from socialising with the gorgeous deputy Sherif.

When they did meet it was always about showing Emma, Henry's work.

Emma was always so complementary to her, but she had a feeling a lot of it was around pity.

The poor disabled woman with no kids and no life. The blonde didn't make it obvious it was pity though, Regina thought. She did like how Emma always spoke to her as a 'normal' person even though she doesn't talk. Emma didn't try to talk down to her or speak through Ruby.

Emma always kept eye contact with her when the phone spoke for her instead. It was little things like that, that made a big difference to Regina. She had ruined it all now though.

"Anyway, I've seen the way you've been looking at Emma." Ruby smirked.

Regina's eyes widened and couldn't help a faint blush spread across her cheeks.

"You totally have a lady boner for her." She teased and Regina reached down to slap her leg in shock. This just caused Ruby to laugh. "I don't blame you, she's hot and has a great personality. You should ask her out on a date."

Regina looked at her like she had just come down from space, riding a unicorn. Her head shook in disbelief.

"Henry loves you, so you have that part in the bag. And I totally get a vibe off her that she likes the ladies." She smirked.

Regina shook her head and grabbed the tablet from her bedside cabinet and wrote down, " **She is straight and would never in a million years be interested in me**."

Ruby read it and shook her head, "I really don't think she's straight. And why wouldn't she be interested in you. You're Regina Mills and anyone should be thankful of being able to get to know you. You're amazing and hot as fuck." Ruby said passionately.

Regina couldn't listen to it anymore and put her hand up to pause her. " **Can I get her phone number so I can text her tomorrow. I want to find out why Henry started crying**." She text, changing the subject.

Ruby nodded and gave up, seeing how uncomfortable Regina was getting. After grabbing Regina's phone from downstairs, she put the number in and gave it to Regina. Ruby put on pyjamas and Regina let Ruby help her finish getting dressed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd post another one while I had the inspiration and to apologise for the long wait :o

"What got you so upset last night, sweetheart?" Emma asked gently as they sat in the Diner eating breakfast.

Henry hadn't said much during the morning as he got ready. "I don't really know mum. I saw the laptop and I was so......happy. I felt all funny inside and then I couldn't stop crying." He tried to explain. "She's nothing like Killian. She's so kind to me and generous. Other than you I've not had another adult treat me like that before."

Emma felt a multitude of feelings after hearing his explanation. The guilt for being stuck with Killian for so long was cut wide open again. But she was also relieved to hear that he had been overdone with positive emotions.

"I'm so sorry Henry that we had to stay with him for that long. When you're older I'll tell you more, but it's very complicated."

Henry gave a shrug not really wanting to talk about him anymore. "It doesn't matter mum, it only matters that you're happy now." Henry gave her a smile and stuffed his face with pancakes. Chocolate was smeared over his lips and cheeks and Emma couldn't help but chuckle.

"Do I get to keep the laptop? It's so amazing!" He asked with big hopeful eyes.

"Of course you can. But you have to be very careful with it and we will get you a case." Emma explained unable to keep it from in, however guilty she felt for not being able to provide in the past.

She looked at her phone as it vibrated, seeing a text from an unknown number.

" _ **Miss Swan, I am very sorry I caused Henry to be so upset. And also for not consulting you before purchasing those presents. Can I ask how he is? Regina Mills**_."

Emma was surprised to get a text off the woman but she was grateful for it.

" **He is good now, thanks. He got a little over emotional, but in a positive way. He was so happy. And well, I've not been in the financial position often to be able to treat him. I'm sorry for my actions last night. I have to admit some of it was due to jealousy that I'm going to deal with. It was a very generous gift, thank you. And please call me Emma :)**."

...

Ruby had helped Regina get ready for the day and they both were on the couch, cuddled up as Regina text Emma.

Regina smiled a little as she got a text back quite quickly.

_" **Okay Emma. I'm so relieved he is feeling better. He's an incredible boy and you've have brought him up so well. But please tell me if I am overstepping any boundaries."**_

  
Emma smiled at the compliment and looked up at her boy. "Would you like to see if we can pick up the laptop today? **"**

"Yes please mum!" He said excitedly. "I need to apologise as well."

"You never have to apologise for crying, Henry."

She looked back down at her phone and replied, " **You're not at all. He is so attached to you and thinks you and Noodle are the best things since sliced bread. I was going to ring Ruby later actually and see if we could come round to pick it up and for Henry to open his other present?"**

Regina's stomach fluttered at the thought of Emma coming around again so soon.

 _" **Of course, I'm not doing anything today. Ruby is with me for the weekend**._ "

Henry grinned as Emma told him they could go round. "You know what I would love, mum?! If we could all have a family meal together." His eyes brightened at the thought. "You, me, Gina, Noodle, Ruby and Kat."

She loved how Henry put Noodle in that list. "You know what, kid? That sounds like a great idea. I'd love to get to know Regina and Kat better."

" **Henry would like a family meal with us, you, Ruby, kat and Noodle (hehe). Would you be up for that? I would invite you to ours but we don't have a toilet downstairs and it's quite small house. So could we do it at yours?** "

Regina read the message and felt herself get anxious at the thought of spending a significant amount of time with Emma in a social setting as well. She showed the phone to Ruby.  

"That would be great, don't you think? Chance to get to know her better but you'll have us around as support and distraction." Ruby offered gently, as she could see Regina was starting to get a little anxious.

Regina of course wanted to get to know Emma better. But it felt a little like torture as she found the blonde so beautiful and charming but had no chance of it ever going any further than acquaintances.

She brought up another blank message to be able to communicate to Ruby, " **How about next Friday night? Gives me chance to prepare."**

"Next Friday sounds great. I'll ring Kat in a little bit but I know so far she doesn't have any plans for next Friday." Ruby gave her a warm smile and kissed the top of her head. "I think this is going to be a great night."

Regina's lips twitched in a slight smile at the thought of Henry and Emma calling it a family meal. She nodded and text Emma back.

" _ **That sounds delightful. How about Friday evening, unless you have anything planned**?"_

" **No Friday sounds perfect. Do you need me to bring anything? Wine?"**

_**"I don't drink but you can bring some if you want, I don't mind."** _

**"Nah it's okay, I'll be driving anyway so I won't drink."**

**" _Okay that is settled then. Come over at six."_**

**"Excellent, we can't wait :). When can we pop over today?"**

_**"Anytime you want."** _

**"Awesome, well we are just finishing breakfast at Granny's so we will see you after we have finished."**

Emma put her phone down and smiled. "We got ourselves a family meal on Friday."

"Yes!" Henry exclaimed and pulled his fist down.

Emma chuckled at his response and ruffled his hair.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow I was on a roll. I hope these chapters make up for my absence! Last chapter for now, hope you enjoy. <3

  
Friday came around quicker than Regina expected. She had spent the time organising the perfect meal plan for group. Kat didn't have plans and she was excited for this since it had been so long since Regina was even slightly social.

Henry had loved his new laptop and was even more fascinated by the drawing tablet she had bought to go with it. There was illustration software on it and a basic version that Henry could learn on that had tutorials.

She had also put on various computer games that were specifically for children with visual impairments. He adored them and Regina watched him play for an hour.

As they left she promised she would teach him more about the illustration software and that she was looking forward to the meal.

The difference in Regina wasn't huge, but there was a significant change in Regina, that Kat and Ruby could see. She seemed a little more motivated and had started to smile at times again. That was mainly around Henry and at the mention of Emma.

Regina had been doing a little bit more of her physio and had even mentioned to Kat about having the physio come back to work with her again. That had nearly floored Kat as Regina had become so depressed and lacked any hope. Kat immediately arranged for the physio to start again on the Monday after.

Regina had ordered all the food for the meals. She had decided to go quite simple as she didn't really know what Emma liked. She settled for soup as a starter, spaghetti bolognese and garlic bread for main and tiramisu for dessert.

Everything was to be handmade of course. She used to do all this by herself years ago. And it killed her to watch Kat prepare it all. But she did take some enjoyment from mixing the bread on her own; letting Kat knead it. And also by giving Kat the instructions on how to do it all. She managed to help in a few little ways but was tired by lunch time.

Regina went for a nap fpr a few hours, hoping it would refresh her.  Kat finished off everything else for the evening.

Ruby let's herself, Emma and Henry in. "Honey I'm home!" She called out with a grin as she takes Henry's and Emma's coat.

Kat walked out with a grin. "Evening babe, how was work?" She teased and kissed Ruby's cheek.

  
"My granny is still a slave driver." She teased and gave her a peck back.

  
"She will never change." Kat chuckled. "Hi Henry, it's so good to see you again." She greeted him, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

"Hi Kat!" He said and gave her a hug, which she returned.

  
"Hello Emma, it's nice to finally be able to meet you for more than a minute." Kat said and put her hand out which Emma shook.

  
"Likewise. How are you doing?" Emma smiled at her.

"I'm doing really well thank you."

"That's because she's in luurrveeee." Ruby teased and made kissing noises at Kat.

"Ewww that's gross. I don't get why people want to kiss like that...yuck." Henry scrunched his face up.

Ruby gave Emma a smirk and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "Yeah I don't get it at all."

  
Emma snorted and lightly slapped Ruby's arm.

Noodle raced down the stairs and ran to Henry. "Noodle!" He squealed and he played with the therapy dog.

Henry used his cane to navigate through the living room and went out the back so they could play fetch. He felt completely at home enough to do that without prompting or permission.

Emma smiled as his son confidently went off with the dog. "Does he always seem comfortable here? He always says he does." Emma asked.

"Oh yeah, he seems very at ease. Helps himself to drinks and gets on with his own things if Regina is upstairs." Ruby explained with a smile. "He's a great kid and absolutely never a bother and Gina feels the same."

"Speaking of, where is the lady of the house?" Emma asked as she picked up the large potted cactus from the floor and a paper bag.

"She is in the dining room, setting the table." Kat told her.

"I will go say hello and give her, her present." Emma said making her way to the large dining room.

"Evening Regina," Emma greeted as she saw the brunette place cutlery from the tray balanced on her lap, on to the table.

Regina turned her chair and gave her a shy smile and a wave.

Emma felt a little flutter in her stomach at the sight of Regina smiling like that. She was confused by the reaction but didn't think much of it.

"You look amazing." She complimented, taking in the red dress and black tights plus the make up.

Regina's cheeks turned red at her words and she turned to put the last few items on the table. Regina felt completely flustered at the blonde and wasn't sure how she was going to cope with the meal.

She could kick herself for being like this though. She was a powerful mayor who took no shit off anyone. Easily able to seduce men and women with a look alone. She also used to be able to get Ruby into a submissive mess, when they used to play before Regina got with Robin.

Emma smiled at the blush she saw before Regina turned. She had to admit to herself she found it adorable. "I also bought a can of my favourite hot chocolate and whipped cream. This stuff is so rich and creamy, I promise you will not be disappointed."

Emma put the cactus down on the side table and took the can out of bag to show Regina. Regina took the can and looked it over. _"I've never had this before, thank you. You may be too full after dinner though._ **"** She wrote down and the voice spoke for her.

"It takes a lot to finish me off." Emma said with a grin. "But I can't wait for you to try, it smells delicious whatever you're cooking."

Regina gave the can back to Emma and explained what was on the menu.

"Mmmm that sounds so good. I love pasta and bread so you've got me in your pocket already." She said playfully.

Regina's blush deepened again at how playful Emma was being.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Emma offered but Regina shook her head and motioned for Emma to follow her. Once in the kitchen she offered her a drink. "Just some water thanks."

Regina was able to get a glass and pour some water out of the dispenser at the front of the fridge. Emma didn't try and take over for her, she let Regina do her thing.

She took the glass off her at the fridge. "Thanks. How about we see what the best buddies are up too. Oh by the way, the cactus is yours."

 _"Thank you, it's very sweet of you. But you don't need to keep buying me plants every time Henry stays."_ She wrote, smiling at her. _"They are very thoughtful though and beautifu_ l." She added.

"I like to. Plus they always make you smile so I will continue if you don't mind." Emma said with another charming smile which made Regina melt and blush even harder.

She cleared her throat and pushed herself out of the kitchen and motioned again for Emma to follow.

They both didn't notice that Kat had a massive grin on her face as she watched the pair.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the freaking best! Thank you so much! The comments I got overnight (as well as every single one I've ever got) gave me a push to get another chapter out. :D. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> FYI we have some SQ :o

They all sat at the large black marble dining table. Regina was at the head and Ruby made sure that Emma sat next to Regina and that Henry was on her other side.

Regina gave her a look to say she knew exactly what she was doing and would pay for it later, but Ruby ignored it with a smile.

Kat gave everyone their soup and they all tucked in.

"Mmmm Regina, Kat, this is honestly the best soup I've ever tasted." Emma moaned, which caused tingles in Regina and made her splutter on a mouthful. Henry was quick to get up and rub her back.

Ruby had to pinch her own leg so as not to laugh at Regina's obvious reaction.

"Are you okay Gina?" Henry asked in concern. She took his hand and put it to her face so she could nod her head. "Oh good." He said in relief and sat back in his seat and delved straight back into feeding his never ending pit of a stomach.

Henry buttered his bread and tried to discreetly feed Noodle who was sitting at both Henry's and Regina's feet. Everyone saw this but they thought it was adorable so they didn't mention anything.

"Ruby told me that you and Regina have known each other since babies and Ruby since she was ten. What was it like growing up together?"

Kat smiled as she reminisced about their younger years. "Well there is a four year difference between Ruby and us, but that didn't stop Ruby thinking she was a lot older. We all went to boarding school together from eight to eighteen and Ruby came halfway through our time there. Ruby was an absolute firecracker, seriously always trying to get into trouble." Kat missed out the part about it was due to the murder of Ruby's parents.

Ruby rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out, which Kat returned.

"The amount of times we had to cover for her or get our parents to make 'donations' so she wouldn't get in trouble or expelled, was ridiculous." She teased. "God one time she even put hair remover in this girl's conditioner." Kat shook her head and tried not to laugh.

  
Regina giggled quietly at the memory of the bully coming out of the showers, screaming with half a bald head.

Emma thought it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard and couldn't stop her own smile. "Wow Ruby, what did she do to deserve that?" She snorted, shaking her head.

"That girl was the biggest bully in school, she would always try to bully me and so many other people. But after that she didn't bully anyone again." Ruby said, giving Kat a glare for telling that story. Kat gave her a wink and finished off her soup.

"Did you help with that masterplan?" Emma teased Regina.

Regina looked at her and briefly raised her eyebrow with a half smirk then took a sip of her drink.

That look alone gave Emma tingles and her smile dropped a bit as she crossed her tight jean clad legs. She took a sip of water to cool herself down a little. Ruby noticed that exchange and gave Kat a quick grin.

"How else did you lead Ruby astray?" Emma asked Regina with a grin as she recovered.

Regina had her eyes down to her meal and couldn't stop a smirk forming as she thought about all the things they got up to in their twenties. Her eyes then flicked up and at Ruby's. Ruby smirked as well and chuckled both at the question and Regina's reaction. Emma looked back and forth at the pair's almost silent exchange.

" **I don't think we can talk about that with underage ears so close."** Regina typed down and showed it to Emma.

Emma read it and chuckled and typed her reply in, " **Well I will have to get you alone to tell me then**."

Regina read the reply and swallowed at the response while blushing. After a few moments of deliberation and anxious feelings she responded back bravely, " **Maybe I would like that**." Her heart was pounding in her chest as she wrote then waited for the reply.

" **I can't wait then**." Emma simply put and gave her another one of her most charming smiles.

Regina honestly felt giddy at the thought and a giant wave of relief washed over her. She couldnt stop the smile that had formed nor did she want to. Regina looked back down and finished off her soup.

"Do you want to share with the class ladies?" Ruby asked with a knowing grin after watching the exchange.

"Regina is going to tell me all about the bad things you used to get up to." Emma teased.

"Well that will be a short conversation as I only misbehaved a few times." She lied badly. Regina snorted at that and shook her head.

" _You've not stopped being bad_." The automated voice said from her phone. Ruby gave her a suggestive wink at that, making Regina chuckle again.

Emma was curious about the two women's relationship. Yeah, Ruby was a flirty person, but it seemed to be different with those two. She would have to ask Ruby later.

"That was perfect, thank you." Emma complimented as she got up to help start taking the dishes away. As Emma stood, Regina put her hand on her arm. They both felt a spark of something as they touched, then made eye contact.

Regina quickly shook off that thought and pulled her hand away. " _You're our guest, so sit down and relax. We've got this._ " The automated voice said and she wheeled back to grab a tray so she could take a few items into the kitchen. Kat grabbed the rest and they both filled the dishwasher.

Emma sat down and watched Regina leave the room. Well that was unexpected, she thought to herself, thinking back to the way she felt when Regina touched her. It did however cause a smile to grow on her face when she realised she liked it.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thank you so much for the comments and Kudos. Last one for the day. May be a little while before the next one, depends how I'm feeling tomorrow. But hope it makes up for the hiatus.

The rest of the meal passed the same, everyone enjoying it with Emma and Regina talking to each other a bit more. It was mainly around teasing Ruby with old memories. Also they ignored Henry trying to secretly feed Noodle spaghetti.

Regina was getting a bit tired but she didn't want leave. Emma saw she was getting tired so she suggested they all go to the living room where they could relax.

"You guys go sit in the living room and relax. I'm going to make some hot chocolate. Who would like some?" Emma asked the group as they made their way to the living room.

They all confirmed they wanted one and after Regina tried to protest that others could help, Emma went off on her own to make the hot chocolate.

She brought a tray in with the cream covered drinks with a sprinkle of cinnamon inside for an extra dimension.

"I promise this is going to be the best you ever had."

They all took a mug and Regina let out a quiet moan as she tasted the rich chocolate.

Emma's eyes darted to Regina's lips as the brunette licked some cream off them. That along with the moan, gave her a shiver.

"I take it you like it?" Regina looked up at her from behind her eyelashes and nodded.

It took a few moments for her to be able to smile as she was slightly taken back by her own reaction. "I'm glad."

Ruby had left the space next to Regina free, purposely so Emma could sit next to her. Emma was quieter than usual as she drank her hot chocolate.

They both kept stealing glances at the other as they drank in a companionable silence.

Once Regina was finished she pulled her leg up and rubbed at her foot as they were aching a lot.

"Are you in pain?" Emma asked her quietly.

Regina sighed and nodded.

"Would you like a massage? I know some reflexology." Emma offered.

Regina bit down on her lip and debated. She wasn't sure if she could handle Emma touching her as she might just die of pleasure. But they were hurting so bad recently and needed something to help. In the end Regina gave a small nod.

"Excellent, have you got any oils?" Emma asked and Regina looked at Ruby to silently ask her to get some.

"Yeah I'll get you some." Ruby said and went upstairs. She came back down with a wooden, ornate box of essential oils and some carrier oil and a bottle.

"Wow what a collection." Emma said in wonder as she examined the vast amount of oils. "Can I make my own blend for you or do you have a preference?"

" _You choose_." The phone answered for her.

"Alright, thank you." Emma got to work making a oil that contained sweet majoram, frankincense and peppermint. She talked through the process and the benefits of each oil specific to M.S and neurological conditions.

"My favourite foster mother taught me all about massage and essential oils." Emma explained even though she really didn't like talking about her childhood. But she felt as if she could with Regina. Especially as Regina, even though tired, looked captivated with everything Emma said.

" _Yeah? What was she like?"_ Her phone spoke.

"She was great. Massive hippy." Emma chuckled as she reminisced. "She was my last and longest foster parent. I stayed there for a year. 6 months while I was seventeen and the first 6 months of being eighteen.

She helped me get set up with my first flatshare and job. She tried to get me to stay longer but I wanted the independence you know?" Emma revealed as she produced the mixture.

Emma sat on a stool at the foot of the L shaped sofa and placed a towel under her feet. "Are you comfy like this?"

Regina sighed and gave her a nod as she lay back against the cushions.

"Good. Now one tap for things are good and two taps if it's too painful. I'll get you a blanket so you're comfier."

Ruby passed her over Regina's favourite fluffy blanket and Emma lay it over her.

"I do need you to take your tights off though." Emma explained. "Call me back once you're ready, I'll just wait outside." Emma took Henry and left the room.

Ruby assisted Regina in removing her tights and gave her a wink. "Not even had a first date and you're already getting naked for her." She teased quietly, which resulted in her being hit by a pillow. Kat sniggered and kissed the top of Regina's head. "I'm exhausted Gina so I'm going to head off. I had a great night, thanks for inviting me."

" _Well someone had to cook and Ruby is simply awful._ " She teased over the phone.

Kat laughed and nodded, "That is true. Love you Gina." They hugged and Kat left to go home.

Emma walked back in with Henry who sat on the large love seat with Noodle and curled up with the their own blanket.

After putting on a few lamps and turning the main lights off, Emma sat back down on the stool. She then started the reflexology on her feet using her oil blend.

Regina groaned in pleasure as Emma started work, heating the oil up on her skin. Emma ignored the tingles she felt as she listened to the moans.

Every so often she would gently tell her which part she was working on. But overall she kept quiet. The moans kept going for the first twenty minutes until they started to quiet down. Eventually she could tell the woman had fallen asleep. Emma went a little softer so as to not disturb the sleeping woman. Emma took the opportunity to really take in the woman's beautiful face, wondering where she got that scar on the top of her lip. She spent ninety minutes massaging her feet before stopping.

Regina was in a deep sleep so Emma covered her feet and silently got up and put the stuff away on the side. She looked over at the chair and saw Henry fast asleep with Noodle and she had to take a photo of that, especially as Noodle was under the cover as well.

"Do you need a lift home?" She whispered to Ruby who shook her head.

"I'm going to stay here tonight. I don't want to wake her but she'll want to get changed if she does wake up." Ruby explained. "You have magic fingers, maybe you could test them out on me as well." She said in a playfully suggestive way.

Emma blushed and laughed quietly, "Such a flirt." She whispered.

"And proud." She winked and gave her cheek a kiss. "She has a few guestrooms you know. Stay here tonight." She offered. "She won't mind."

"I shouldn't without asking her." Emma said, wanting to stay but not wanting to impose.

"Honestly she wouldn't mind at all. You look just as tired and it would be a shame to disturb Henry too much."

"Fine ...but if she's upset with it in the morning you're dead."

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments :). I managed to squeeze another one out.

Regina woke up in the morning, a touch confused to her surroundings. She realised then that she had fallen asleep during the foot massage.

She sat herself up on the couch and looked around. The curtains were shut but she could see daylight peaking through. Taking a look at her phone she saw that it was nine am. That shocked her as she never sleeps through all night.

Regina wiped some sleep out of her eye and remembered that she had fallen asleep fully dressed. The thing she really noticed was that she felt quite refreshed and the ache in her feet had been reduced. She got into her chair, put her phone in her lap and followed the voices.

"Morning sleepy head." Ruby grinned from the kitchen table, where she was drinking coffee and reading the paper. Noodle came up to her and rest his head on her lap so Regina could give him a fuss, which she did.

"Morning Gina." Henry said as he used his stick to get to her and gave her a hug. Regina hugged the boy back. She hadn't expected them to stay over but she felt a slight flutter inside at the thought of it being a regular occurrence.

The thought of coming downstairs and greeting a real family each morning was something she had tried to push away since she knew it would never happen. Not that Ruby and Kat aren't family, but coming down to greet a partner and a child or two.

Regina hugged him a little tighter before pulling away and trying to straighten his hair down.

Henry giggled, "Gina! Stoooop."

Regina smiled at his adorable giggle, really being able to see the resemblance between mother and son.

"Morning everyone." Emma said as she walked in to the kitchen, tucking her shirt into her jeans. Well not her own shirt, a silk purple one of Regina's.

Emma noticed Regina stare down at her shirt, with a look she couldn't quite recognise. "I hope you don't mind, Ruby leant it to me. I hadn't realised I had spilled hot chocolate down mine."

Regina couldn't keep her eyes off how the shirt clung so perfectly to Emma's torso. She squeaked a little then cleared her throat in embarrassment. Seeing Emma with her own shirt on was not helping the thoughts she was just having about domestic life.

She thought she would have had that with Robin, since they were engaged. But as soon as she had to be in the wheelchair full time, he was in the wind; claiming he couldn't cope with it all.

She shook those thoughts away and grabbed her phone. " _No its fine. It looks nice on you_." She typed out and pushed herself to the kitchen table.

"Thanks." Emma smiled and walked over to give her shoulder a light squeeze before sitting down next to her. "How did you sleep?"

" _Like a baby. I haven't slept through the night like that for years, so thank you_." Regina wished she could show how sincere she was. A drawback with the automated voice was that it showed absolutely no emotion.

"Well that's fantastic." Emma beamed at her. "I'm glad I could help. My sleeping sucks as well."

Regina gave her a quizzical look.

"Yeah, I've never been a great sleeper." Was all she said and gave Henry a quick glance. She hated how he's had to put up with her nightmares.

Regina nodded and gave her knee a soft squeeze, sensing Emma didn't want to go into further detail as she saw the flash of sadness in the blonde's eyes.

Emma gave Regina a grateful smile and tried to ignore those butterflies that had woken up in the stomach again.  
  
She had realised during the middle of the night, while attempting sleep in a luxurious king size bed, that she may may have the start of a slight crush on Regina. It was a bad idea though as Emma thought of various reasons why it couldn't go further than friendship. Mainly as Emma thought of herself as damaged beyond repair and not good enough. "How do your feet feel?"

" _They feel a lot better thank you. You have a special talent_." Regina replied over the phone.

Emma gave her a bashful smile and shrugged, "The kid loves it so I get to practice a lot."

"She always complains I have stinky feet though, but I don't!" Henry says with a huff but still has a smile on his face.

  
"They do stink, god knows how bad they are going to smell once he is a teenager." She joked and stuck her tongue out at her son.

"What are your plans for the day?" Emma asked her, her body still facing Regina's.

Regina shrugged and looked down. She had only left the house once in the last year and that was only to go into hospital after a flare up, " _Nothing_."

"Same here, we have no plans. Would you like to go out somewhere?" Emma asked, testing the waters, not sure if Regina just didn't want to or couldn't leave the house.

Regina immediately tensed up at the thought of leaving her house. It had been six months and the nearest she had got was the back garden. Regina shook her head as she felt the start of a panic attack looming closer. She felt her heart start to beat harder and faster as images of being stared at and ridiculed, clouded her mind.

Emma was quick on the ball and took both of her hands in hers, "Regina....You're safe...you don't have to go out anywhere. Try concentrate on my voice okay and we'll breathe together."

Regina thought she was going to pass out from fear. Her eyes started to water as negative after negative thought flooded her consciousness. She gripped tighter onto Emma's hands as she gasped for breath. She was eventually able to hear some of what Emma was saying. She felt as if a heavy fog was smothering her and she just couldn't catch her breath.

"You need to put her hands on your chest so she can feel your breathing rhythm, that helps." Ruby said as she gently rubbed Regina's back, careful not to crowd her.

Emma nodded and put Regina's hand on her chest just under her neck and started to take some slow deep breaths.  Holding for a few seconds in between each breath. She talked through it and eventually Regina managed to be able to follow it.

"You're safe and you're doing so very well." Emma praised, keeping her hands on her chest.

Regina's cheeks were smeared and soaked with tears as she finally was able to calm down. She felt absolutely humiliated and pulled away from Emma. Regina rolled herself back and left the kitchen without any form of communication.

Emma felt devastated that she had done that to Regina and cemented the fact that she was no good for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :p


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a bit of a slump after I got those chapters out. But I hope this will do for now. Bit of a filler chapter.
> 
> Btw I've been knocked away by all the kind words. Thank you so so so so much every single one of you. You all have definitely helped to lift my spirits through a difficult time so thank you so much <3

Another month went by and there were no other meals. Henry still came over on a friday and they would still do all the things they loved to do together, but Regina always made sure she was back in her room by the time Emma came to pick him.

  
Emma had tried to text her multiple times but she didn't reply to any. Shame more than anything else, prevented Regina from responding.

She was ashamed at having a panic attack in front of her.

She was ashamed for thinking she could be normal for a change and have a new friend.

She was ashamed for thinking that Emma might actually want to be her friend.

Well after that, she knew she wouldn't want to, especially with how she was at that moment.

After spending the weekend wanting to be alone and hide in her room, she made herself concentrate on Henry.

She knew for some reason Henry liked her so she was going to focus her time on that and also trying to improve herself so she could 'keep up' with him.

She had started the physiotherapy again with Edward and put her all in. He did have to remind her multiple times to make sure she paced and looked after herself. They started off small and she would do the exercises he gave her during the week.

By the end of the month she was able to stand and take up to three tiny steps using a zimmer frame. It exhausted her but she managed and it felt like such an achievement for Regina.

She was back to near her baseline ability before the last flare up. Which was that she was able to take a good five or six steps with a zimmer.

But when she had her last flare up, she couldn't use her legs at all. It took some time to even be able to use her legs in a transfer.

It was Thursday night and Regina was sat in the living room with Ruby, watching some cheesy rom com that Ruby loved. Regina wasn't into those type of films but she would do anything to make Ruby happy so she always indulged her.

Now she had had some time and space to think, her mind went to the dashing blonde woman that kept invading her thoughts.

The longer it went on the more guilty she felt for completely blanking Emma. But she needed to be in a better space to be around her again after feeling so embarrassed.

Regina took her phone and pulled up Emma's messages. She looked over at each one and the blonde was apologising on most of them and telling Regina that she didn't have to be embarrassed.

What caught her attention the most was, on the last text that was sent yesterday after a weeks silence, Emma revealed she had night terrors. They were far less frequent now but they had lasted for a while once she moved to Storybrooke.

She saw it as Emma opening herself up to Regina to show her vulnerable side to balance the score.

**"I used to be Mayor of this town. Now I can't bear the thought of leaving the house and having people stare and ridicule me. I'm not the person I was a few years ago and it's so much for the worse. I'm so sorry for ignoring you, I was ashamed."**

Within seconds there was a reply, " _ **Why were you ashamed?"**_

Regina was surprised at the quick response.

" **Because I had that panic attack in front of you."**

" _ **You should never be ashamed for something like that. I'm glad I was there to be able to help. I hate them and Henry has even had to calm me down before, which I feel awful about. But please never feel you can't be yourself around me."**_

Regina sighed as she read the message. She felt a pang of pain in her chest at the thought of someone as sweet as Emma, having to go through panic attacks.

She read over the message multiple times for a good ten minutes. Ruby could hear her quietly sigh and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her gently and kissing her temple. Ruby didn't want to push Regina, instead she let her physically know she was there for her friend.

Regina kept looking down at her phone and gave a very small smile at the gesture. It made her relax a little more into Ruby and started to compose her message.

" **I don't know how to be myself as I don't know who I am anymore.** " She admitted in a rare showing of vulnerability.

" _ **So far, I know you are an extremely kind and generous woman. Who spoils my kid rotten and who I feel more than comfortable leaving my only son alone with. Someone with an extraordinary artistic talent and is a fantastic teacher. Henry had always been awesome at art but wow, his work now...it's out of this world. I am so proud of him. So thank you for your help. You should see his room, the walls are full of his and your work. The drawing you did of Noodle and Henry is framed and takes pride of place above the head of his bed.**_  
_**You're someone who has people who love you so hard. Ruby loves you so much, she always has something nice to say about you. She doesn't see helping you a job. She sees it as a chance to hang out with her best friend. I see you as someone I would be honoured to get to know more if you let me."**_

Regina's eyes started to water at the incredibly moving text she received. She really had no idea she had affected Emma and Henry that much.

Or that Ruby saw her job like that. She wiped her face once she felt the tears fall off her jaw and gave Ruby a tight hug.

"Hey, not that I'm not loving it but what's the hug for?" Ruby asked as she ran her fingers slowly through Regina's thick hair.

Regina hugged her for a good few minutes as she calmed herself down and pulled away. Ruby saw the old tears that had run down her face and she gently wiped them off with her thumbs. She smiled softly at her and took her phone out to tell her, **"I love you, you know?"**

"And I love you too, but what has got you crying Gina?" She asked a little concerned, but the smile made her less worried.

" **Feeling a little overwhelmed. But I'm okay**."

Ruby nodded and gave her forehead a kiss before smiling back at her. "Have you been texting Emma?" Ruby asked wiggling her eyebrows mischievously at her.

Regina looked away with a blush but did give a nod. Ruby smirked at that, "And how did that go?"

" **It went well I think. I'm going to invite her round again**."

"That sounds a great idea. Want me to take Henry out so you two can make out?"  
Regina gasped and slapped her arm as she shook her head. That made Ruby laugh and pulled her in tighter for a hug. "Well when it eventually gets to that point, I'll be more than happy to take Henry and Noodle out for a walk."

Regina didn't reply, her face was resting against her chest and she couldn't help the smile form at the thought of sharing kisses with the gorgeous deputy sherif.

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry about the delay. I'm not in a great place right now. My relationship of 10 years ended last weekend. I'm struggling to be honest. But I managed to finish this chapter off. Hope you enjoy. And thank you so much again for your lovely comments. It is such a massive help.

Emma was nervous as she waited for a reply. Had she come on too strong? She had meant every word though.

After an agonisingly slow hour, her phone vibrated and her face immediately brightened up.

" **Would you like to come to dinner again? To make it up to you, I will have your favourite done. Henry tells me you would have waffles for every meal if you could - which is a heart attack ready to happen by the way. So how does homemade fried chicken and waffles sound?"**

Emma drooled at the thought and quickly text back. " _ **That sounds like absolute heaven, thank you! I will bring dessert and no arguing ;)"**_

**"I spent many years arguing as my job so you will never win, Miss Swan. However I am intrigued at what dessert you would bring so I will allow it."**

Emma snorted at her response and felt a little giddy at especially at the playful challenge.

_" **Well I spent a good number of years bringing bail jumpers in so I think I can tackle you, Madame Mayor. ;) I'm stubborn and I love to win."**_

**"I'd like to see you try take me on Miss Swan."**

**_"Well I've already won this round_."**

**"You may have won this battle but you've not won the war."**

_**"Well I can't wait for you to officially crown me victor."** _

**"That crown is locked firmly in place in my vault for all eternity. It will never grace your fair head."**

_**"We will see about that, your majesty ;)"** _

...

Kat prepared dinner while Regina instructed her on the secret process. Since she was feeling a little more positive in herself, she decided she was in desperate need of a hair cut.

She was able to get her usual hairdresser from the city to come out especially for her. As it had been well over a year since he had seen her, he shot at the chance to visit.

Regina did feel awkward at first. She looked different from the last time they had met and of course she was talking then as well.

However after the initial discomfort he was quite happy to talk for the both of them and she didn't mind that. It was nice to hear about his family and the business.

...

Emma walked into Regina's with Ruby and Henry. Henry and Noodle immediately paired off and they went to the back garden. Emma chuckled at the best friends. "I'm starting to think he loves Noodle more than me."

Ruby laughed and nodded, "I think that may be true, sorry."

Emma rolled her eyes playfully and put the potted plant down on the side table before she dropped it.

She was carrying a paper bag that held a huge fresh raspberry pavalova. The pair walked into the kitchen and she put the dessert in the fridge. They then went to the living room and found Regina on the couch there.

Ruby gave a loud wolf whistle as she saw Regina's new hairstyle. It was cut just above her shoulders and had gorgeous flick to it.

"Wow, I love it!" She said as she walked over and gently touched a strand. "It's not been like that for a while. You're looking hot as fuck." Ruby smirked and gave her cheek a kiss.

Regina rolled her eyes at her as she transfered into her wheelchair. Regina was doing this with a lot more ease and even was able to stand up to do it.

Emma stopped in place as she saw Regina. Her stomach fluttered as she took in Regina.  The way Regina looked a little brighter made her smile. And also noticed how she looked even more gorgeous with her new haircut.

Emma noticed Regina being able to stand long enough for a better transfer and felt proud of her, kinda friend? Could she class Regina as a proper friend yet? She shook her thoughts away and smiled.

"Good evening your majesty." Emma said playfully as she walked closer to the brunette. Regina rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile back, seeing the blonde's infectious grin.

"I love the haircut, you look amazing." Emma said as she stared a little longer than she would usually, into her eyes. Regina stared back and couldn't help but keep smiling at her.

Ruby cleared her throat as she tried to hide the smirk off her face once she noticed the pair making googly eyes at each other. It physically pained her not to try push things along but knew she had to be oh so careful and delicate with Regina.

"I'm going to go finish off dinner, why don't you two go outside and chill out for a bit. Watch Henry and Noodle play." Ruby suggested before leaving to the kitchen.

They both were shocked out of their staring match as they heard Ruby. Emma gave Regina another shy smile and put her arm out, in a lead the way motion. Regina pushed her way to the patio doors and sat herself near the table.

Emma sat down on on a chair next to Regina and pushed it a little closer to her, "How was your day?"

Regina turned to look at her and was surprised to find just how close Emma was to her. She was hardly in her face, but she found it slightly uncomfortable. But it was more in the way that she wanted the woman even closer but knew Emma would never be interested so it was a little torturous.

She took her phone out and typed out, _"It was fine, thank you Miss Swan._ " The female automated voice answered for her.

"Good, your hair cut looks great by the way. You suited long hair but this is a gorgeous length as well." Emma without thinking, reached forward and stroked the tips of her hair that was just below her chin level.

Regina couldn't help but feel a shiver run down her spine as Emma did that. She felt frozen in place. Years ago Regina would have teased the hell out of Emma. She would have had fun attempting to seduce the blonde. But now all her confidence, skills and swagger and left her. She was just this anxious, depressed shell instead.

Emma's eyes flicked from her hair to Regina's lips. She wondered again where that scar had come from. Emma also thought what those lips would feel like against hers. Their eyes were locked momentarily before Emma pulled back realising she had encroached into the woman's personal space and her mind had wandered. Emma cleared her throat and turned to watch Henry and Noodle play.

"I love dogs but I really don't have the time to look after one so I'm glad Henry has Noodle to play with." She changed the subject from their small but intense moment.

It wasn't fair that Killian had fucked her up for life. She hated that she knew she would never be good enough for someone like Regina. She hated that her body was covered in scars, some from him but mainly from herself so she could cope.

She was brought out of her negative spiral by Regina placing a hand on her arm and played her message, " _I'm glad they have each other. He's perfect and has helped give me a boost of energy. And so have you. I always look forward to your visit even when I was hiding away. I want to get to know you better. I'm so glad you two stopped at my town and decided to stay."_ Regina gave her an earnest look.

Emma got lost in those brown eyes again that showed so much emotion. "I'm glad I stopped too." She whispered back and placed her own hand on top of Regina's. What the hell was she going to do?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot. I've really struggled getting this out. And I know it's not much good but I wanted to try and get something out.

Two more months passed and Emma and Henry had dinner every Friday with Regina and Ruby. 

The pair took that time to get to know each other a bit better.  However they both had large walls up and the new friends only revealed what they were comfortable in doing so. 

Neither realised that the other's attraction towards them was growing more with each day.  The pair would text everyday, usually light or funny texts.  Emma would mainly send her funny memes that Regina would pretend she was too mature for, but would laugh at every one.

It was a Thursday night and Emma had finally settled Henry down for bed.  Her son had been bouncing off the walls as he had come back from his dance class.  Emma had finally gotten round to enrolling him and he had attended every Tuesday and Thursday night for the past six weeks.

Henry was thriving in all aspects of his life and Emma couldn't be any prouder of her boy.  She knew she had made the right decision in staying in this town.  Even though she still had to make sure all the doors and windows were locked at night in case Killian had tracked her down.

Emma couldn't get Regina out of her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried.  The more she got to know her the harder Emma was falling for the former Mayor.   Other than spending time with her son, Emma looked forward to Friday nights the most. 

She adored getting to know Regina more and found out that she had a great sense of humour as well as being incredibly intelligent, talented and very caring. 

Emma wanted to spend more time with Regina, in particularly she wanted to spend time where it was just herself and Regina.

" _I have to work this Saturday, booo! But I was thinking since I am off tomorrow, would you like me to come round during the day and we could maybe watch a movie or something?"_

Emma went over her message, what felt like a hundred times before finally sending it.  Her stomach flipped with anxiety as she hoped she wasn't rejected.  Neither of them had asked to see the other without Henry before and she had no idea if this was something Regina would even want.

...

Regina was in bed, propped up against pillows and on her laptop.  She was currently on her usual betting site, the one she did not tell anyone about. 

Before Emma and Henry burst into her life, researching meticulously then placing bets was the only thing that gave her a rush.  It wasn't even the amount of money she won, it was about placing a bet and getting that anticipation as she waited for the result.

Luckily for her she had more money than she knew what to do with and only played with an allowed amount that she had in a separate account.  She was in control, she thought to herself.  Regina chose not to tell the others as she didn't want the hassle.  That's what she told herself anyway.

Her phone vibrated and her eyes immediately went to the phone hoping it was Emma.  She smiled once she saw a message from 'Miss Swan'.  Regina swiped her phone so she could read the message. 

Once it was read her stomach exploded in anticipation and nerves.  The gorgeous mother and Deputy Chief actually wanted to spend time with her.  She couldn't quite believe it.  Regina had no idea why the woman would want to but she wasn't going to say no to spending time together. 

**_"Yes.  I would love that :)"._ **

_"Great! I can't wait :D."_

....

Regina took a long bath and got Kat to put some light make up on.  She wanted to at least pretend that she was desirable again and that this more than two friends hanging out. 

Kat had to bite her tongue so many times so as not to scare Regina.  Kat and Ruby had spoken at length many times about the two and agreed that they should not interfere unless absolutely necessary.  However it was killing both of Regina's best friends that they couldn't rush things along.  They both have been witness to the moon eyes they have seen between the pair. 

Regina stared at her reflection under the bright lights of the bathroom.  She shook her head slightly as her eyes roamed her face and body.

 _Emma would never be interested in me.  Look at me._  
_Disgusting._  
_I can't even leave the fucking house._  
_I can't take her out on a date._  
_I wouldn't be able to hold her hand as we walked somewhere._  
_I certainly couldn't ever be naked in front of her._  
_You make me fucking sick._  
_You should have done a better job a year ago._  
_You know how many tablets you need to save to finish off the job this time._

She snatched the make up remover wipes knocking make up off the table in the process.  She scrubbed her face clean wanting to forget that she ever thought it was a good idea.

"Hey hey.." Kat said softly after rushing in, hearing a commotion.  "What's going on? Do you not like what I did?" 

Regina shook her head fiercely and couldn't look at herself in the mirror anymore, disgusted with what she saw.

Kat gently took her hands and stopped Regina from hurting herself even more.  Her skin was starting to turn read raw with the fierce scrubbing.  Regina looked up at her with heartbroken eyes.

"Darling..." Kat said with a soothing voice and stroked her hands that she was still holding.  "It's going to be okay.  Try not to over think this.  Emma likes you.  She wouldn't invite herself round and come round every Friday or text you everyday if she didn't.  With or without make up you are beautiful inside and out.  Emma can see that, I can assure you."

Regina averted Kat's gaze as she spoke.  She really was struggling to believe everything was going to be okay. 

"Would you like me to stay while she is here, at least for a bit?" Kat asked.  "And we can use our secret code if you want me to leave because you're going to make a move." She playfully teased, referring to the move of Regina tugging her earlobe when she was on to a sure thing with someone. 

Regina gave a weak smile at the memory.  She thinks she would feel a little calmer if Kat was there to begin with anyway.  But at the same time she didn't want to be babysat.  Regina shook her head and squeezed her hands back. 

"Alright, well when she comes I'll get your drinks and be on my way."

Regina decided not to get Kat to redo her make up in the end and she went downstairs. 

Noodle had been downstairs asleep but as soon as she heard Regina come down on the lift, he was stuck to her side.  They spent an hour cuddling on the couch.  He would give her hand or face a lick every now and then. 

When the doorbell finally went he didn't even go to the door, he had glued himself to Regina to provide her comfort.

Kat walked in with Emma next to her.  The blonde was holding a bag that was bursting at the seams.  "I bring all ideal components for a perfect movie experience." Emma said with a grin as she held the bag up.  "Popcorn, chocolate, sweets, nachos and cheese and pop!"

Regina couldn't help but chuckle at the blonde's enthusiasm and shook her head.  " _Are you trying to give me clogged arteries?"_ Her tablet spoke for her. 

"Yes that's exactly what I'm trying to do." she said with a drawl. Emma placed everything except the nachos, cheese dip and jalapenos on the table in front of them.  "Give me a few minutes and I will be all yours." Emma gave her a cheeky wink and went into the kitchen to prepare the nachos. 

Kat watched Regina's cheeks start to turn red after that wink and the blonde hid a smirk.  "Have fun.  And use protection." She whispered in her ear as she bent down to hug her.  She laughed as Regina slapped her back and stood up.  Regina gave her a glare as Kat grinned and left. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you so much for everyone's comments! 
> 
> I'm struggling right now but thought I would get another chapter out to say thank you so much for the support.
> 
>  
> 
> Love you guys.
> 
> And huge shoutout for wannabebarbie. <3 my biggest cheerleader. Thank you so much.

Emma came back into the living room with a huge serving dish of nachos and cheese.

Noodle was to the left of Regina so Emma sat down on her right. "Okay so this is mine." Emma teased before putting it down on the table and loaded a dish each. Regina gave her a smile as she took the dish and started to nibble on the food.

"I thought we could watch a favourite of mine." Emma started as she grabbed a DVD from her satchel. "Airplane." Emma said with an infectious grin, showing Regina.

Regina couldn't help but smile at how cute Emma looked. She nodded her approval and nodded her head over to the DVD player.

Once it was loaded she sat down next to Regina but had left at least half a foot gap in between. "Want to start it?" She asked before stuffing her face with nachos. She turned to give Regina a grin then focused on the film starting up.

...

It was half way through the film and both of them had been steadily giggling all the way through.

"It never fails to put me in a better mood. I've just have seen it a million times and it's still just as funny." Emma said as she popped a chocolate in her mouth.

At some point Emma had moved slightly and now her thigh was pressed against Regina's. "God I love this bit!" She laughed and put her hand on Regina's thigh not even thinking about it.

Regina looked down at the hand and she felt a shiver work through her body. Not since Robin, has her body reacted like that. She slowly wet her lips and looked back at the screen.

Emma kept squeezing her thigh gently and leaning into her whenever one of her favourite lines or scenes was coming up. Emma had no idea the effect she was having on Regina. Her thighs had always been a huge erogenous zone for the woman.

It was beginning to feel like torture for her but she didn't want Emma to stop. It was a struggle to concentrate on the film but she did chuckle when she did manage to catch a joke.

More than anything she wanted Emma to slowly slide that hand up until...

"Such a funny film." Emma said wiping a tear away from her eye, still giggling. Regina felt cold once Emma pulled her hand away.

For a moment she desperately wanted to use her voice to tell her she liked having her hand there, but she was too anxious to make the first sound of a word.

"Would you like to watch another film?" Emma asked before stuffing her mouth with gummy bears.

Regina tapped out a response on her tablet, " _You are like a teenage boy, where do you put all that food? There is not an inch of fat on you."_ She tried her best to not let her eyes roam Emma's fit physique for long.

Emma snorted, "There really is. But I dunno, guess I have a high metabolism or something." She didn't mention the fact that stuffing her face was an old habit from her foster care days. She had to eat fast so the others wouldn't steal off her.

She shook those memories away from her thoughts and smiled at Regina again narrowly just catching Regina's gaze on her body, "Have you ever watched 'But I'm a Cheerleader?'" Emma wasn't sure what to make of Regina's eyes darting away quickly after being caught.

Regina shook her head and Emma jumped up to grab another DVD from her bag. "It's a great film."

Emma settled back down next to Regina. This time she was pressed up against her like before wanting to test the waters a little. She hasn't even realised until now just how much she had been touching her. She wanted to continue but at the same time she needed to know she wasn't making Regina uncomfortable.

"Is this alright?" She asked pointing to their sides touching.

Regina's body was tingling again as she felt Emma on her. Regina nodded and with a bit of hesitation she leant her head on her shoulder.

Emma felt a flutter in her heart as Regina did that and decided to be bold. "This will probably be more comfy for you." She said and carefully put her arm up and over her shoulders.

Regina paused and looked up at Emma as she felt the arm on her shoulders. Their eyes locked while their faces were only a few inches away from each other. Regina felt her breath hitch at how close they were.

She wanted more than anything to lean forward and press her lips against Emma's soft looking ones. Brown eyes flicked down to said lips before she shook herself out of her thoughts and gave a nod. Regina lay her head onto her shoulder again and tried to ignore the bats that were trying to escape her insides.

Emma had honestly thought for a moment that Regina was going to kiss her. Emma had wanted that so bad. As soon as she saw eyes flick to her own lips she was about to lean forward herself. But before she could do that Regina moved.

_Had I got that wrong?_

_Was Regina really going to kiss me?_

Emma took a deep slow, slow breath and turned her attention back to the screen.  Her mind was spinning with what had just nearly happened.  She pressed play on the remote and was very aware of Regina plastered against her side. Her lips slowly formed into a grin as Regina hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist and got comfy on her.

 


	22. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you all so so much for reading and reviewing and you're continued support. It really does mean a lot to me, more than you guys could know ♡. 
> 
> You better enjoy this Barbie since you forced it out of me :p.

After their 'non date', the pair decided to find time once a week to be together on their own and watch something.  Neither mentioned the almost kiss but neither could stop thinking about it.

Emma wanted to be able to take her to the cinema but knew that was not going to happen anytime soon.  Emma wanted to work on going out with her, very slowly though. 

They were on their forth 'non date' when Emma brought it up mid way through the Wedding Singer, "Can we talk about something?"

Regina felt her stomach drop with dread at those words.  Similar words were spoke by Robin when he told her he couldn't cope with her disabilities anymore and he was leaving Regina.

Emma felt Regina tense her entire body.  "Oh sweetheart it's nothing bad." Emma cooed as she stroked her arm.  They had quickly got into the habit of snuggling up on the couch as they watched films.  Emma let Regina instigate the hug every time but she would eagerly wrap her arms around Regina once it happened. 

Emma gave Regina a kiss to the top of her head, "I want to run an idea past you."  That was the first time she had done that and Regina automatically relaxed a bit.  The arm around her waist tightened a little more as she nodded for Emma to continue.

"I was thinking.  Now it's something that we don't need to do straight away or at all if you really don't want to.  However I know you have the van..."

Regina tensed up again as soon as she realised it was about leaving the house.  Regina pulled away from Emma.  Her first thought was to escape the situation.  However Emma gently placed a hand on her thigh. 

"I know that sounds so very very scary right now.  But I will be there with you and we will work together to lead up to getting in the van and going for a drive."  She said with a soothing voice. 

Regina gulped and looked up at her with scared, glistening eyes.  Emma cupped her face with both hands as she saw her expression.  "I will be here every step of the way.  I will be there to help with your breathing and relaxation exercises.  We will do this as a team." 

Regina could see the sincerity in Emma's eyes as they stated at each other.  Emma tenderly swiped a tear away from her cheek with her thumb. 

"Red told me all about how you three used to go in the sea.  I was thinking the three of us and Noodle could eventually go for a walk along the docks." 

Regina closed her eyes as she enjoyed Emma's hands on her face.  The idea of being out in public was nerve wracking though.  Her heart was beating firmly against her chest and she was feeling ill at the prospect.

However she had a vision of Emma, Henry, Noodle and herself making their way down the docks.  Regina in her electric wheelchair, using her right hand to steer and her left hand to hold Emma's.  Noodle had been retrained to be a guide dog and he was leading a teenaged Henry in front of them.  She was not feeling scared and she was telling Emma all about her day, using her voice. 

Emma stayed quiet as she watched Regina get lost in what seemed to be a calming thought or memory.  Regina had visibly calmed down and she was intrigued to what she was thinking.  Emma kept gently stroking both cheeks with her thumb.  The tears had stopped now. 

Emma didn't think Regina could look any more beautiful than she did right now.  Because of that, Emma's face very slowly got closer until she was a few inches away.

SLAM

Emma jumped a mile and her hands went straight to her chest.  She froze in fear.

Killian was here, was what she thought.    She was completely frozen in terror. 

_He has finally found me._

_I knew he would get me._   
_Oh god I can't move._   
_He's going to hurt Regina._   
_But I can't fucking move._

Regina was brought out of her fantasy as she heard the front door close and Emma launch herself off her.  Emma had fallen back to the ground and was currently sat on the floor, completely still and staring into space.  Regina felt sick as she saw the most terrified expression on Emma's face.

"Hey guys, Henry and I come with pizza." Ruby called happily as they walked into the dining room to drop the pizza boxes off. 

Regina had absolutely no idea what to do.  She tentatively touched Emma's shoulder and the girl jumped as though Regina had burnt her.

"I'm sorry, I'll get it done, Killian I'm Sorry!" She pleaded trying to appease the ghost of Killian. 

Henry walked in as he heard that and stumbled over to where he could hear his mother.

"Ma! Ma! He's not here." He said hugging his mother tight.  "I promise Ma, he is not here."

Regina was screaming at herself to talk, to comfort the distraught woman in front of her.  But only some croaky sounds came out.  Instead all she could do was lean forward and stroke her back, but even that was awkward and painful because of Emma's distance away. 

As soon as Emma was on the floor, Noodle had gone to her and rubbed his nose against her hand.  Ruby had quickly followed Henry and was rubbing Emma's back as well and reassuring her she was safe.  She had been witness to a few panic attacks and nightmares herself.  With the help of everyone Emma finally came out of her panicked state.  She wrapped her arms around Henry as the usual guilt that follows, spread. 

"I love you." She whispered into his hair as they rocked. 

"I love you too, Ma.  He's not going to find us here." He told her.

"You're such a strong boy." She whispered and didn't let go of her hold.

"I'm happy here Ma.  I love it and our family we have made." He told her and Emma agreed. 

"I love it too.  We're not going anywhere."

Emma felt embarrassed once she realised they had a small audience.  "I'm sorry you had to see that." She quietly said to Regina who looked lost on what to do.  She shook her head and squeezed her shoulder to try and tell her it was okay. 

Emma seemed to get it and gave her a small nod.  She felt worn out and wanted to nap like she usually did. 

"You should go up for a nap, Ma." Henry suggested but Emma shook her head. 

"You've brought dinner and I haven't seen you all day." 

 _"We will save you a plate.  Stay over tonight and go have a nap."_ The automated voice from the tablet told Emma.

"Are you sure?" Emma asked looking into concerned eyes.

" _Positive_."

"Okay then." She got out before letting out a yawn.

" _Take my bed.  The spare bed needs making up. And help yourself to pyjamas."_   Regina told her as she ignored the flutter in her stomach at the  prospect of Emma being in her bed.

"Thank you." Emma gave her a tired smile before hugging Henry and went upstairs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to not only read but to comment.
> 
> Big claxon warning.
> 
> This is a flashback chapter and it involves RedQueen. It's something I wanted to write while thinking of this story. I know there are some people who don't like RQ so you're not going to miss any SQ if you don't read it. However it would mean a lot to me if you did and told me what you think. RQ won't happen in the present over than friendship. 
> 
> Warnings: mentions of death/violence/kink/bdsm but not all connected. 
> 
> Reviews are like crack and I'm an addict. Please supply me with copious amounts of crack please :p

The trio ate their pizza in the living room and once full Henry went outside to play fetch with Noodle.

" **Who is Killian**?" Regina typed on the tablet but didn't make it speak. She had to push down a lot of anger while Henry was around. Someone had obviously hurt her sweet Emma and they needed to pay.

"To be honest I don't know." Ruby said quietly after reading the text. "She doesn't talk much about herself. But obviously this guy is the cause for her panic attacks and night terrors." She explained feeling just as angry as Regina did.

Regina put her hand on Ruby's and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I'm so....angry." Ruby admitted quietly. "You know how much I hate violence."

Regina shuffled up the couch and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. She planted a few kisses to the top of her head and wished she could tell her how much she loved her. That Ruby could talk to her about anything and that it was okay to feel angry.

Ruby curled up to Regina and half got on her lap; her legs instead of her whole body. This was always her favourite part of playing with Regina.

...

_Regina was wearing Ruby's favourite blood red corset that had a intricate black design on the front. Her cleavage was almost overflowing from the cups and it always helped Ruby shut off from every other thought. She wore tiny black panties along with suspender belt and stockings. This was paired with red stilettos that Ruby loved to be under._

_They had spent the last two hours in a session. Ruby was currently bent over a spanking bench not wearing a stitch. She was securely attached to the bench and her ass had multiple lines of red welts._

_It was this time of the year she needed this particular session. The pair had been having a casual relationship for years now. They knew they couldn't work as a couple, but as a Miss and sub they did. The sex was insane and Regina loved wielding the power over Ruby. Ruby loved giving that power over to Regina, loved that she could get to a safe place where all she could think about was pleasing and obeying her Miss._

_There were no thoughts about her parents._   
_No guilt around their murder._   
_No visions of their dead bodies in their bed when she was just ten years old._   
_No wondering if she hadn't of hid in her cupboard for hours after hearing the gunshots then maybe she could have saved her mother._   
_She could have saved her mother._   
_She didn't die straight away._

_Ruby had read reports when she was older and it revealed that Maria had still been alive for a few hours after she was shot._

_The guilt of that ate her up. She took on full responsibility for her death for years as a teenager. It took a lot of time, love and support from granny and her two best friends to start realising she wasn't to blame. It also took Cora to get several experts to say in person and in writing that she would have died from her injures anyway._

_However on her anniversary of their deaths she needed this particular type of release. To let Regina have full control of her thoughts. They loved their dominant and submissive side to their casual sex. Ruby loved nothing more than to be tied up, teased and denied pleasure for however long Regina wished. It wasn't always like that. A good amount of time it was just good old fashioned fucking._

_Around the anniversary though was when she struggled to remember that she shouldn't feel guilty. Through her late teenage years and early twenties, it was the time where she would lose herself in drugs and promiscuity. Anything to be able to experience something other than the gut wrenching feeling of loss and guilt._

_Her friends couldn't physically be there for her a lot of the time due to college, however they supported her._

_It took Regina finding her face down in her own vomit and a week long hospital visit for things to change for the girl. Regina ripping her a new one and telling her a lot of home truths was the second catalyst to change._

_Cora paid for her intense therapy and Regina took a break from her masters for a semester to be there for Ruby, every step of the way._

_"Pay attention my sweet girl. Or do we need another lesson on concentration?"_

_A firm swat from a riding crop brought Ruby back to the moment._

_"Yes Miss. I need another lesson." She whimpered. Ruby didn't but she loved the feel of the crop to her ass and backs of her thighs. She could not think of anything else while that happened. Ruby was purely in her safe space at that point._

_"Such an eager learner." The crop slowly ran from the inside of her knee to just before her cunt. Regina could see for herself just how much Ruby was enjoying this. "You remember what to do then? I want you to count after each spank and thank your Miss for your lessons." Regina said with a kind but firm voice._

_"I remember Miss. I will do my very best just for you."_

_"You're such a good girl." She purred and sensualy stroked her ass cheeks. "Thirty is the maximum. Once you've reached that and shown what a obedient girl you are, then you will get your reward." She informed her and moved so she was a bit more to the side of Her, giving a better angle for the crop._

_She had been worked up for this moment and Regina knew this was the point that Ruby could let go of all her pent up emotions. This was the type of release Ruby needed on this day._

_"Tell me your safewords." Regina checked in with her._

_"Green for go. Yellow for slow down or change and red for stop the scene completely."_

_"Very good. Now count."_

_Regina gave her a sharp strike to her right was cheek._

_"One! Thank you Miss." Ruby gasped and gripped the rope that was holding her down._

_Regina went at a steady rhythm but each spank got progressively a little harder until Ruby was a sobbing mess. She still managed to count each one._

_Once thirty was sobbed out from Ruby's lips Regina immediately untied Ruby and led her to the bed that was in the basement with them. Ruby was sobbing as she let everything go. She clung tight to Regina and they got under the covers. Ruby tangled herself to the older woman on her lap and continued to sob against her chest. Regina covered them with the sheet and blanket as she held her best friend._

_Regina rocked her gently and stroked her hair. "I've got you Red." She whispered before telling her how much she loved her._

_"You are not to blame._

_There was nothing you could have done._

_You are a strong woman and will get through this._

_We all love you very much and you are and will never be alone._

_You are not to blame..._

_You are not to blame..."_

_Regina kept repeating her affirmations as Ruby went through her release._

_Once Ruby had finished crying, the woman lay quietly against Regina. She always felt exhausted after, however the next day she felt as if a massive weight had been lifted off of her._

_"You are stronger than you will ever know, Ruby. I am very proud of the woman you have turned out to be. I promise I will be here for you always." She kept pressing gentle kisses to the top of her head as they lay in their embrace. Regina held her strong and had no plans to move for the rest of the night. The rest of the evening was purely about after care for her Red._  
......

That was one of the reasons that, even though she works a lot of hours at Granny's, she would gladly work even more hours for Regina. The woman saved her life in so many ways and there was no way she could ever repay that.

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again so much for your reviews. Hope people like this new chapter. It's been a struggle to get another chapter out. Moods definitely like a rollercoaster at the moment. But got back into destroying machines on horizon:zero dawn, so that's helped a bit. 
> 
> Human emotions suck lol.
> 
> P.s. Nonny I do reply to your comments in case you aren't aware. I always look forward to reading your comments.
> 
> Wannabe - hope that picture is ready lol.

Emma felt sluggish as she went up the stairs.  She found Regina's room and made her way inside.  Emma felt kind of uncomfortable to be alone in this room but she was far too exhausted to care that much plus she was given permission.  She herself would hate it if someone went shopping about in her bedroom.  Emma took out a pair of black silk pyjamas and without thinking put them to her nose and took in Regina's familiar soap powder scent.  She smiled at the familiar lavender scent and put them on the bed. 

She undressed and decided to have a shower.  Emma took her time washing herself under the scalding spray.  She needed that pain to deal with the guilt that kept overtaking her thoughts as she showered.  While it did sting the cuts that littered her stomach, Emma felt that was a good thing.  It was keeping her grounded in the moment.

Once  finished, Emma dried herself off and got changed into the incredibly soft pyjamas and got into bed. Regina's perfume could be smelt all over the pillows and Emma melted into the expensive Egyptian cotton sheets.  Emma felt a wave of calmness wash over her from these sensations.  Sleep came quickly for the blonde as she used a spare pillow as a pillow partner.

...

Regina held Ruby for a while, rocking her as much as she physically could in her arms.  It was starting to get far too painful but she would do anything for Ruby and Kat. 

Ruby felt a lot calmer after being in Regina's care for a while.  She could hear in her head Regina's words of support and love. She had needed that and had not wanted to admit just how long she had needed that kind of care from one of her besties.   Ruby gave her a tender kiss to the cheek and carefully got off of her lap, to sit next to her. 

"I needed that, thank you." Ruby told her with a grateful look.  Regina took her hand and gave it a quick kiss, while giving her an understanding smile. 

Ruby looked at the time and saw it was time for Noodle's last walk.  "I'm going to take him out with Henry.  Do you want to get ready for bed now or when I get back?"

Regina shook her head and wrote on her tablet.  "Once Henry has been put to bed please."

"Not a problem."

Ruby got up, gave her forehead another kiss and left to fetch the best friends.

...

Regina tried to kill time on the laptop but she was aching far too much and exhausted.  She wanted nothing more than to collapse in bed. 

The only issue with that was Emma was in her bed. 

The gorgeous, stunning blonde was currently asleep in her bed.

She pushed the more sordid thoughts straight out of her mind and decided to check on her.  The trouble was the spare bedrooms were not suitable for Regina.  The beds weren't the right height nor did they have her specialised mattress.  Regina hadn't really thought this through.  All she wanted was to provide comfort for her friend and since Emma hadn't come back down she had assumed she had fallen asleep. 

Regina decided to check on her and see if she could at least share the bed.  That thought made her scared but giddy also.   

She made her way upstairs and frowned as she heard painful wimpers coming from her room.  She pushed herself a bit faster and went into her room.  She saw Emma thrashing under the covers and whimpering.  She rolled to the side Emma was nearest and gently stroked her face, trying to soothe her. 

She swore internally, wishing that she could verbally try to soothe her as well.  Emma gasped as she woke up from her nightmare.  She was shocked to see Regina's concerned face looking down at her and her hand caressing a clammy  cheek.

"Sorry..." Emma whispered but didn't try to move away from Regina's tender touch.

Regina shook her head as if to say she didn't need to apologise for anything. The pair barely blinked as they stared into each other's eyes.  A slender thumb moved from Emma's cheekbone to a pink bottom lip.  Her eyes dropped to those soft lips and imagined what it would feel like if they were pressed against her own. 

Emma's heartbeat was starting to slow down as they got lost in the moment.  Never had anyone ever had this effect over her before.

Regina's thumb stilled as she heard the front door close and the thuds and tapping of claws up the stairs. She slowly pulled her hand away as Noodle walked in and she put her attention on him.  He gave Regina's hand a lick before carefully getting on the bed with Emma.  He stood near her and started to kiss her face which made her laugh. The more she laughed the more excited Noodle got and kept kissing her.  Noodle had broke the intense spell they both were under.

"Stop it, you've not even taken me out on a date." She joked as she sat up and playfully wrestled with him.

Regina grinned as she watched the pair play wrestle and Noodle ended up on his back enjoying the belly rubs. 

Regina transferred onto the bed and stroked Noodle's head as well.  However she was in a lot of pain and feeling fatigued.  She lay her head down on the pillow and closed her eyes for a few moments.  She did her best not to show how much she was struggling but Emma could see right through her. 

"I'm going to get Ruby to get you ready, you look beat." Emma said as she gently stroked Regina's hair. Regina couldn't even out up a fight if she wanted to.  After seeing a small nod, Emma stroked her hair for a few more seconds then left to find Ruby. 

...

Ruby helped Regina dress into some pyjamas while on the bed.  Regina felt like crying as her friend had to do this for her.  She was exhausted and in so much pain; it was that point in the evening where her painkillers were running out.  Ruby gave her medication and a bit extra, just before she got her dressed so it would provide some relief as soon as possible. 

While this was happening Emma got Henry ready for bed and told him a bed time story.  He was getting to a age where he was starting to believe he was too old for that but he didn't put up a fight for Emma to stop it.

Once the boy was asleep Emma went back downstairs and found Ruby cleaning up the kitchen. 

"Hey Red."

"Hi Emma." She smiled back and put the  last of the plates away.  "I'm going to get going in a minute.  Did you manage to get some sleep?"

"Yeah I did thanks.  Regina had to wake me up from a nightmare though.  But I'm feeling a bit better now."  Emma explained and went to pour herself a glass of water. 

"I'm glad.  And if you ever need to talk I'm always here and I know Regina wants to be there for you as well."

A shy smile started to creep on her face, "She s pretty great.  There's something very calming..soothing about her." She tried to explain without revealing how she really felt about her.

"I totally get that." She said with a fond smile, thinking back to the aftercare she used to be given by her.

"She can be fierce though, which I fucking love about her." She grinned thinking back to how Regina used to be.  Someone who would never take shit off anybody and could make grown men quiver with just a look.  And of course her dominant behaviour during their times together came to the front of her mind.  She chuckled softly to herself and shook those thoughts away.  "She's brought cocky ass business men down to their knees before." She chuckled.

"Well hopefully I will get to see that part of her." Emma smiled a little.  She was curious about the look on Ruby's face though.  It looked....like She was thinking back to some...not so innocent memories, she thought to herself.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma asked    after a minute of debating as Ruby got her stuff together.

"Of course."

"Were you two...ever involved?" She asked trying to be casual about it.

Ruby looked at her curiously, "Why do you ask?"

Emma gave her best nonchalant shrug, "Just wondered, you seem very close."

"We had a err...friends with benefits thing going on for a couple of years." Ruby explained and watched Emma's face for a reaction.  "You don't have a problem that we are both bisexual do you?"

"Oh god No! It doesn't bother me one bit.  I'm bi myself." Emma quickly explained, putting her hands up. 

"Really?" Ruby asked as internally she was jumping for joy, Regina had a good chance then. 

"Yeah.  When did the arrangement end then?" She asked as she felt a twang of jealousy.

"Oh it was a good few years ago now, it was when Regina settled down with...well that ain't really my story to tell." She stopped herself not wanting to go into the Robin story.  She still thought about hunting that selfish piece of shit down.

Ruby's jaw tensed up and she scowled as she thought of him.  Emma however took that reaction as Ruby having not wanted that relationship to end.

Emma felt sick at the thought that she wouldn't have a chance with Regina since Ruby still held feelings for her.  And there was no way she was going to betray someone who has helped her beyond anything she could have imagined.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your lovely comments (I've responded to them).
> 
> It means so much that people are still reading and enjoying this. I know things are going slow but please have patience in the journey friends :D.

Ruby saw Emma's face drop and was confused by that reaction. 

"I love Gina to pieces, I owe that woman my life.  Seriously, I can't even begin to tell you how much she has helped me.  But we could never work out as partners nor did we want to.  We had a fun period and it was a lot of fun." Ruby chuckled and tried not to have such a filthy smile on her face bit was failing a little.  "But that was it.  Fun for one period of time only."  She explained to Emma. 

Ruby saw the short look of relief on Emma's face before it was straightened up again. 

"Oh cool.  So there's no chance of you two getting back together?" Emma asked trying to act casual again, but her stomach was tying itself in knots.

"Not a chance Em.  We don't see each other like that anymore.  Well Gina is still as beautiful as ever, but you know what I mean." She said with a smile.

Emma nodded and sighed, "She really is." At that confession Emma's eyes went wide.  She hadn't meant to reveal that.

Ruby just gave her a big smile and hugged her, "Do you like Regina? In a romantic way?"

Emma was quiet as she internally debated what to reveal.  There were so many barriers to the attraction though.  However she really needed someone to talk to about it, so she nodded and squeezed her a little harder.

"I do..she's something else." Emma sighed with a smile as she cuddled her friend.

"That she is.  Are you going to tell her?"

"Oh god no.  I'm not good enough for someone as special as Regina." She shook her head.

"Fuck off...you're an amazing person Emma."  Ruby said fiercely, she hadn't know Emma for that long but she was super protective of the woman and her son already.  "I think you two would be perfect for each other."

"I don't know, Red." She sighed, hating how Killian's views of her were racing through her head. 

"Well I know that you both are already great for each other.  I haven't seen Regina this...alive in so long.  And that's down to you and Henry." Ruby explained as she rubbed her back gently. 

"I think she was going to kiss me a few weeks ago." Emma admitted as her heart started to thud faster at the memory.  She pulled away and sat down at the table.   Ruby sat down next to her and listened.

"And.... I think I was about to kiss her, myself just before you arrived with dinner. 

"Shit and then you had a panic attack?"

"Yeah? The loud slam of the door triggered a kind of flashback."  Emma admitted having never talked about Killian before.

"I'm so sorry, Emma." Ruby apologised but Emma shook her head.  "You just closed a door, you have nothing to apologise for."

Ruby placed her hand on top of hers and gave it a squeeze.  "Do you want to talk about the flashback?"

Emma immediately shook her head, "I really don't.  It's nothing personal about you.. I am not ready to talk about that."

"I completely understand about the whole not being ready.  I'll always be here if you want to talk though.  And like I said before, Gina has always been a great listener."

Emma gave her a grateful look, "Thank you.  I'm going to say goodnight to Regina then go to bed.  I'm pretty exhausted."   They both stood up and hugged each other. 

"Oh by the way, you'll meet your soon to be mother in law in the morning.  It's Cora's weekend to be here." Ruby told her playfully and Emma gave her a gentle shove.

"Shut up.' She joked.  "I am kind of nervous to meet her though."

"Don't be.  Just be yourself and she will soon see how good you are for Gina.  Be aware that she can come off a little frosty at first.  But she wouldn't be the CEO of her own firm of attorneys if she was all sweetness and light." Ruby chuckled.

"However she's a good woman and once you are allowed in, she loves just as hard as Regina."

"Okay I'm kind of more scared now but thanks." Emma half joked.

"She is going to love you." She reassured her before leaving.

...

Emma gently knocked Regina's bedroom door and waited about thirty seconds to see if she would hear the voice of a tablet, bit never heard anything.  She slowly opened the door and found Regina asleep, under the covers.  Emma stared at the kind and beautiful brunette as she slept.  Emma sat on the edge of the bed and stroked a few strands of hair out of her face. 

"You're so beautiful, Regina.  I hope I can one day make you feel as good as you make me feel." She whispered to the silent room. 

Regina murmured in her sleep and turned over onto her side. She reached out and put her arm over Emma's lap to cuddle. 

Emma smiled and shuffled down so she was lay on the bed next to her.  Regina was still asleep by she attached herself to Emma like a barnacle.  Emma debated with herself if she should stay like this since she didn't get any kind of permission to. Her mind was made up however, when she felt warm breath tickle her neck as Regina nuzzled her face there.  Emma wrapped her arms around her and smiled as she closed her eyes, loving every second of the woman being in her arms.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. Just a little scene for you guys. Love getting the comments 
> 
> You readers are the best ♡♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Please let me know what you think. And also on a technical side as well. I need to improve and any tips are very much appreciated.
> 
> P.s. Barbie...little bit in there just for you :p

Regina felt so warm as she started to come round from her deep sleep.

 _Why does the bed feel funny?_ Her brain asked as she cuddled tighter into either the duvet or pillow. Her eyes snapped open as she realised that it was actually a person she was curled up against. Lifting her head away from the obvious female (And comfy) chest, she looked up to see Emma in a peaceful sleep.

Regina briefly looked to the clock and could see it was seven am. Emma must have stayed all night with me. She thought to herself and smiled. She had no idea how this came about but she was not going to complain. Regina let out a happy hum as she settled her head back onto Emma's chest. Regina had missed sharing a bed with another person. As good as cuddling up to Noodle was it was nothing compared to the feel of being curled up to Emma.

She listened to the calming, rhythmic breathing and felt incredibly settled. It didn’t matter her joints were hurting, she felt content.

  
She could get use to this feeling very much. Emma stirred and wrapped her free arm around Regina and yawned.

“Morning.” She greeted as she kissed the top of her head. Her eyes were still shut as she wasn’t quite with it yet. Emma hadn’t thought twice about the kiss, it took her a minute more of snuggling and waking before she realized how intimate they were right now.  
Regina smiled up at her and stroked her arm to try and greet back. Since Emma made no indication that she was uncomfortable she lay back on her chest and wrapped her arm tight around her slender waist.

  
Emma’s eyes fully opened up and hid the shock she was feeling right now from their positions. She hadn’t meant to stay the entire night but she had had the best nights sleep in a long long time.

  
“Sleep well?” Emma asked and Regina nodded, not leaving her chest. She moved her leg so it was over Emma’s.  Emma smiled at the intimate gesture and tried to ignore the pleasure she felt from the thigh so close to her centre. Her body betrayed her however as her nipples started to harden.

  
Regina knew she shouldn’t be staring at the breast right in front of her but she couldn’t help it. The way the nipple grew under the silk was mesmerising and honestly so very delicious to watch.

  
Thoughts of how it would feel and taste went racing through her mind and she felt guilty for it.

  
Emma’s words brought her out of her thoughts. She nodded and pulled her head off her chest to smile at Emma.

“Me too. I actually don’t know if I’ve ever slept as well in my life.” Regina felt proud at that fact and her smile grew while nodding in agreement. She looked over at the clock again and saw that her mother was going to be here very soon. The last thing she wanted was Cora to see her in bed with another woman. Not that Cora cared at all about her bisexuality but more about she didn’t want to get her mother's hopes up.

  
Regina leant over Emma as she struggled to grab her phone. Emma felt herself tingle as Regina's body was pressed against her. She placed her arm on her back to keep the woman stable as she grabbed the phone.

  
**My mother will be here very soon. Shall we go down and we can all have breakfast together?**

  
Regina showed her the text and Emma nodded. However Emma was starting to feel nervous about meeting Cora. Ruby hadn’t really done that much to calm her down over it. She was desperate to actually be good enough for someone as special as Regina.

  
“Do you think she’s going to like me?” Emma asked as insecurities started to show. Emma still had her arms around Regina as Regina was partly propped up against her.

**She’s going to love you once she gets to know you properly. She really wants to meet you.**

“Really?”

  
Regina nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. Then she kept rewriting the next text.

  
**She’s very protective. And well...assertive is probably the best way to describe it. But she’s very loving in her own way. We're a lot closer than we used to be. And she’s calmer. But I know you will make a great impression on her. I promise.**

Emma read the text as her hand ran up and down her back. She was still very nervous about meeting her and that only increased reading that Cora was very protective.

_What if she tells me to leave Regina alone?_  
_What if she can see right away how bad I am for her daughter?_

Regina looked up and could see the apprehension on Emma’s face. Reaching up she gently stroked her cheek and shook her head. She needed to reassure the blonde and tell her not to worry so much. And even if Cora didn't like her straight away (which she highly doubted) it wouldn’t matter. Regina liked her very much and that’s all that mattered.

  
Emma seemed to understand what Regina was trying to tell her and gave a small nod.

“I should go check on Henry. Are we having breakfast with your mum?”

**Yes she likes to bring pastries in the morning fresh from the bakery. I’ll text her now to bring more stuff.**

  
Regina explained and went a quick text off to Cora. Once that was sent Regina smiled and gave Emma a quick peck to the cheek and shuffled over to the side of the bed. She winced in pain as she attempted to reach out for her frame to help her stand up to transfer to the wheelchair.

  
“Hey let me help you.” Emma shot up and went to the other side so she could place the frame in front of her.

  
Regina scowled as Emma did that. After a few painful attempts she managed to get up and transfer to the wheelchair. She left for the bathroom without any acknowledgment to Emma.

Emma had no clue what had caused the sudden mood change in the woman and frowned herself. Maybe it was because of the pain, she thought to herself. Emma left to go check on Henry since Regina gave no inclination she wanted anymore help. Her shoulders sagged as she left the room wondering why their perfect little bubble had burst so quickly.

 

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I will respond invidually to the comments soon, thanks for them by the way!
> 
> The main answer is that I would love to have the discipline to write longer chapters at a more frequent rate. However I'm still not feeling fantastic. And I want to be able to get something out for people. But I totally get the frustration of that. This is a little longer so hopefully it will please you guys xxx
> 
> ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Regina had to refrain from slamming the bathroom door behind her.

_Reason one hundred why we could never work as a couple. I don’t want to have to have her help me. It makes the dynamics completely different. She would quickly start to resent me anyway. She'll want to help me to begin with but it would soon wear out. Then she would leave me._

_Just like Robin did._

_I would then lose Henry and that just can not happen. I can’t lose them both. Friends is all it will ever be. I will need to give myself boundaries and stick with them._

She thought resolutely as she brushed her teeth, struggling through the mental and physical pain. Regina was desperate for her painkillers but she had to wait until Cora arrived so she could get into the safe.

...

  
Henry was already up and had let Noodle out to use the bathroom. Henry thought of this house as a second home and felt more than comfortable in roaming the house.   
“Morning son.” Emma greeted and picked him up to hug him.

“Ma!” He giggled and squirmed at the kisses on his face. “I’m too old for that, I’m nearly a teenager!” He didn’t mind really though and hugged her back.

“No you’re not. You’re not going to get any older.” She said with a dramatic huff and grinned as she put him down.

“I’ll be graduating high school before you know it.” He giggled as she growled.  “Is Gina still asleep?” He asked as she sat on one of the sun loungers and he got onto her lap.

“No she’s awake and will be down soon.”

Henry nodded and let out a happy sigh. “I love it here, Ma. Don’t You?”

“I do, kid. I really do.” She answered back all the while thinking of how perfect it felt to fall asleep and wake up with Regina in her arms.

After a little bit of mother and son snuggling, Emma heard the sound of the lift coming down. They both got up and went inside to meet her.

“Morning Gina!” Henry greeted with an excited voice and carefully hugged her. She wouldn’t admit it but the hug hurt. However she would deal with far worse so she could have one of Henry’s special hugs.

 _“Morning Henry. Did you sleep well?_ ” Her tablet spoke for her.

“I did, Noodle is such a bed hog though. He took up most of the bed but he’s too cute to move so I left him.”  
  
Regina laughed at that and knew exactly what he meant. “ _Oh yes he likes to spread out as much as possible. And if you go to the bathroom during the night he will creep to the warm spot and you lose your spot.”_

Henry giggled and sat down at the table. “Ruby said your mum is coming.”

 _“She is and she’s very excited to meet you Henry.”_ The tablet spoke and she pushed herself to the table.

“She is? Why?” Henry asked in curiosity.

_“Because I’ve told her what an amazing young man you are. My dad is as well but he's in England for a bit longer.”_

Henry gave her a shy smile and looked down feeling a bit embarrassed by that attention.

 _“My dad owns a number of art galleries in the US and Europe and he loves your art.”_ Regina explained and Henry’s jaw dropped in shock.

  
“Really??”

 _“Yes, he loves it. I’ve sent them both so much of your work.”_ Regina didn’t reveal that most of the correspondence she has with her parents is about Henry and Emma.

  
“That’s so...cool!! A gallery boss likes my work. Woo!” He punched the air in excitement and Emma laughed softly at his enthusiasm.

“Well of course he likes it, you are very talented, son.” Emma said, pride evident in her voice and face.

  
Noodle jumped up as he heard a key in the front door. He barked in excitement as he slid to a stop when Cora opened the front door.

“Down.” Cora could be heard saying firmly and also Noodle's happy barking and crying.  He always greeted her like she was away at war and just come back.

Regina hadn’t looked at Emma at all since coming down. She couldn't face it, knowing all she wanted to do was kiss her and forget her own self imposed boundaries. At the same time she didn’t wasn’t to be rude but she knew she had to put her walls up so she wasn’t hurt again.

“ _Can you please get some plates and cutlery out?”_ Regina asked not looking at her.

Emma was going to ask what was wrong but it was obvious Regina didn’t want to discuss it so she left it and grabbed what was needed.

Henry was oblivious to the tension he was too preoccupied in wanting to make a good impression on Cora. He licked his hand and tried to flatten out some stray hair on his head. Regina looked on with love evident in her eyes. She reached out and helped him with his hair.

This was the scene Cora walked into; Regina looking at Henry with love in her eyes like a parent.

“Morning Regina.” Cora said as she strode up to her and gave her a kiss on both cheeks after placing the bags down on the table. Her brown hair was down and she was wearing a fitted, highly expensive dark Armani pant suit.

“This young man must be Mr Swan.” Henry straightened up and looked in her general direction. He had never been spoken to so formally before. Henry stood up, wiped his hand on his pyjamas and put it out for Cora to shake.

“Yes, Mrs Mills. But please call me Henry.” Cora’s mouth twitched in to a small smile and she shook his tiny hand.

“My, what impeccable manners you have. You can come to work with me and teach my staff a thing or two.”

Henry giggled at the idea. “Ma, told me manners and treating people how you would like to be treated are very important things to remember.”

  
“Well your mother sounds like a very smart lady.” Cora said as she looked up to a slightly nervous looking blonde. Emma's nerves wouldn't be very obvious to others. However Cora has made a very lucrative career from reading body language and exploiting people’s vulnerabilities to win a case.

“I’m presuming you are Miss Swan?” Cora said with a slight arch of her eyebrow, her demeanour exuding confidence to an almost scary point.

“Yeah, I mean yes I am. I’m Emma, Henry's mum.” She stumbled over her words, knocked by the intensity of the woman in front of her.

Emma fidgeted with a hand towel in her hands, nerves building even more.

“Well I am glad finally get to meet you. I’ve heard plenty about you both.” She said and turned to smile at Henry before walking over to Emma and putting her hand out.

Emma went to shake it and wasn’t surprised to find herself in a very firm handshake. Cora gave Emma a once over, taking in Regina's pyjamas and returned to eye contact. “I hear you are the Deputy here.”

“Yes Mrs Mills, I am.” Emma answered, she didn’t want to be a weak mess in front of Cora so she put her shoulders back and puffed her chest out to try and give her confidence.

Cora kept a fixed gaze on her and didn’t show her cards at all. She was too good of a poker player.

“You seem kind of small to have been a bounty hunter.” Cora commented and it took a few moments before a ‘Mother!’ was heard coming from the tablet.

Cora turned round to Regina, “What? It’s a perfectly acceptable observation. I’ve seen and dealt with plenty in my time and I have to say the women I usually encounter are certainly larger and more...” She gave Emma another once over as she thought of the correct word, “...butch. I’m surprised that’s all.”

  
Emma rubbed the back of her neck, not liking the scrutiny she was being put under by Cora.

Regina rolled her eyes and tugged at Cora's hand to pull her away from Emma. Regina pointed upstairs and Cora knew it was time for her medication.

“While we are upstairs, do you and young Henry putting the food out?” it wasn’t actually a question as Cora walked off as soon as she said it.

Regina gave Emma an apologetic smile before following behind Cora to go upstairs.

  
Emma stood there and watched the pair leave, having no idea on how to take their first encounter. And wondering to herself what else to expect from Cora Mills.

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys *ducks from rotten tomatoes*. I promised myself I wouldn't post until I had a few chapters done. Well I'm breaking a promise, because I suck so bad. But I am going to get some writing done today on my last day off. 
> 
> Thank you so so much for all your reviews, they really are food for the soul. You guys are just the damn best ♡♡♡
> 
> Also big thanks to delirious_comfort who kindly did a beta check for this chapter. Go check her work out and buy her book, you won't be disappointed!
> 
> Apologies it's short but I hope you enjoy :)

“How are you liking Storybrooke Elementary, Henry?” Cora delicately ate her exotic fruit and low fat yoghurt. The four of them were sat at the square kitchen table.

  
“I love it, Mrs. Mills. Ms Blanchard, my teacher, she taught us how to make a bird house this week. And…and they’re putting one I made on display!” Henry said excitedly after swallowing a bite of his pastry.

  
Regina noticed a smear of icing on his cheek and she smiled fondly. Taking a napkin she gently wiped it away.

  
Henry gave her a grin, “Thanks Gina for not licking the tissue first like Ma does. That’s so gross.” He chuckled and stuffed his face again with his Danish.

  
Emma laughed at that. “But mum spit is magic.”

  
Henry scrunched his face up and shook his head.

  
Regina smiled back at Henry and went back to her own Danish. The painkillers had finally started to kick in and the edge was taken off. She wasn't feeling particularly well, though.

  
“I am glad you are enjoying school Henry. It’s highly important you do well in your studies. Regina took her studies very seriously and ended up with two degrees and a Masters in economics.” Cora explained proudly and Regina wasn’t quite enjoying that attention.

  
It was hard growing up, trying her absolute hardest to live up to Cora's impossible standards. It had only been since she her condition got worse that Cora had calmed down and stopped pushing. Well, stopped pushing as much.

  
“That’s amazing, Regina.” Emma said sincerely and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

  
Regina felt that familiar flutter in her stomach every time the pair touched. After an awkward smile, she used that hand to type on her tablet. She needed that space or her flimsy walls were going to come crumbling down.

  
“ _Education is important, but Henry will excel at whatever he puts his mind too.”_ The tablet spoke and Henry felt ten feet tall at the praise.

  
“Thanks Gina. I try my hardest.”

  
“I know you do. And I can’t wait to see you perform.”

  
“Oh yes. Regina tells me you are a keen dancer as well.” Cora said, still observing her daughter and new friend with great interest.

  
“Yeah I love dancing, Mrs. Mills!” Henry explained getting giddy.

  
“You may call me Cora,” she responded with a genuine smile.

  
“Thanks Cora....Oh!” Henry gasped before standing up, took his stick and made his way out of the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  
He came back in with an envelope and gave it Regina. “Gina, I know you don't like to go out but in case you feel up to it, I have a ticket for my first performance in two months time. I would love you to see me.” He explained and leaned his body against Regina's side, putting his arms around her in a hug. “It’s okay if you can't, it’s going to get recorded.” He gave her an out.

  
Regina felt her anxiety rise at the thought of not only going out in public but going to a busy and noisy school. Having to witness the looks and comments of pity from the public she used to preside over.

  
Emma was taken aback by Henry’s request. He hadn’t told her beforehand so this was just as much of a shock to her as it was to Regina. Emma immediately took Regina’s hand again and gently stroked it. “Kid, Regina will think about it before she gives an answer, okay?” She covered for her, seeing how tense Regina was getting.

  
Henry felt bad as he heard the change in Regina’s breathing, likening it to when his mum had her panic moments. “I’m so sorry Gina, I didn’t mean to upset you. Ma will Skype it for you and I’ll show you my routine here,” he promised, trying to make it up to her.

  
Her heart broke at the devastated look on Henry's face. She shook her head and wrapped an arm around him to reassure the boy. A replay of her fantasy of them all strolling on the sea front came back to her mind. The memory of how good it felt was able to soothe her somewhat. Even though it wouldn’t be romantic she could still have the family side of their little trio, as unconventional as it was. She reluctantly let go of Emma’s hand to reach her tablet. While not letting go of the boy she typed and pressed the replay button then held Emma’s hand again.

  
_“I will try my hardest to come. I can’t promise I will get there but I will promise I will try.”_

  
The other two adults were in shock at that confession but as usual, Cora kept a nonchalant expression on her face.

  
Emma's face however was far more expressive. First it was shock then it went to pride. “And we promise we will help you, we're not going anywhere.” Emma ran her thumb over her hand as their eyes locked.

  
Regina stared back at Emma and could see the genuine care Emma had for her. Part of her wished Emma wouldn’t smile at her the way she did, but the other part wanted to see nothing but Emma’s and Henry's smiles for the rest of her life. She took a few calming breaths as their eye contact never faltered and nodded. Regina's attention was finally taken away by Henry giving her cheek a kiss.

  
“I promise I won’t push Gina. I would love you there but I’ll be just as happy to show you my routine here,” he assured her and sat back down to finish his breakfast.

  
Regina gave his shoulder a squeeze before she caught her mother staring at her. She had no idea what Cora was thinking with her face neutral, Regina never could when it was like that. After a slight raise to her eyebrow Cora turned her attention to Emma and asked her about her work.

  
_How on earth was she going to get out of this house?_

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously can't believe that 1) People are still reading this 2) and people are enjoying it! *eeckk*.
> 
> Thank you so so much for the comments and the kudos and for reading. Means more than you guys could ever know :D. 
> 
> Love to you all. Here's just a little something.

 

  
Once they all got washed and dressed, Henry took Cora to the living room. He showed her files of art work he had been doing at Regina's.

Regina was in her bedroom needing to lie down. She didn’t want to sleep however she was feeling achy and wanting to stretch out.

After Emma had given Cora and Henry their drinks, she went upstairs and brought Regina a peppermint tea. She placed the drink on the bedside table next to Regina and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Well your mum seems nice...intense but nice. I fear she may know everything about me because she can see right into my soul.” Emma teased and gave her a grin as she turned to face the woman who was propped up.

Regina let out a back of laughter at that and nodded, “ _Oh she can. That’s why she’s the best defence attorney a criminal could ask for.”_

Her eyes rolled as the tablet spoke for her.

“ _She will somehow find out every last dirty thought you’ve ever had and will use it against you.”_

Emma snorted but also felt a little fearful at what Cora could find out about her, “I will do my very best to not get on her bad side....but I will make sure to delete my browser history.”

Regina felt a tingle between her thighs at the frankly filthy grin Emma gave her.

_“You have me intrigued, Miss Swan. What exactly have you been looking at that you wouldn’t want my mother to reveal?”_

Regina arched her eyebrow up and gave her an amused look.

“Well wouldn’t you like to know what I get up to on my Fridays when I’m at home alone.” That filthy grin was still plastered on her face.

Regina's mind went immediately to the gutter and she squirmed a little in her seat. She kept her face as unaffected as possible.

“ _Binge watching Little House on the Prairie like the good Christian girl you are?”_

Emma laughed hard at that and moved so she was sitting on the other side of the bed next to Regina.

“Other than that I'm a girl, everything else you said was so wrong.” Emma gently nudged her shoulders with her own then lowered her voice. “I’m anything but a good girl.”

Regina felt those tingles again at Emma’s cocky but sensual voice. Their eyes kept connected for a few seconds before Regina had to look down at her phone.

“ _That doesn’t surprise me one bit. I’m even more intrigued now as to what you really do when you’re all alone.”_ Regina knew she was playing a dangerous game right now but she couldn't help herself. She used to love flirting before everything went wrong and Emma was someone she would have enjoyed tormenting.

“Well maybe you will find out sometime.” Emma was still leaning against her, shoulder to shoulder. Her voice was lowered in tone. “But right now I want to keep you guessing.” She teased and Regina’s eyes flicked down to Emma’s lips as their faces were turned to each other.

Regina’s heart started to thump against her chest as Emma got ever closer. At that point their faces were barely over half a foot away.

All thoughts of boundaries and inadequacies melted from her consciousness. Her mind became focussed on only one thing; what Emma’s lips would feel like against hers.

Her heart was beating even faster as she looked back up to Emma’s eyes. Emma’s smirk was gone now and gave Regina an intense look. Regina caught Emma looking back down at her lips and could see her hesitantly move closer.  
...

 _This is it. She’s not pulling away or showing any kind of signs she doesn’t want this_.

Emma took it very slowly so as to give Regina an opportunity to stop this. She lifted her right hand up and cupped Regina’s cheek. Her thumb stroked her cheekbone as she felt Regina lean into the touch.

  
She could see Regina was looking a little shocked over what was happening. However it didn’t seem that it was a negative type of shock. Time had stopped around them and the pair were in this bubble of tension.

Emma leaned in closer and at the same time her eyes closed when their lips were a few inches away. Regina finally got a hold of herself and moved forward, putting a hand on her shoulder. Their lips finally touched in a chaste kiss; lips gently pressed together.

“Ma!” The pair sprang apart as they heard Henry from the door way.

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought since you've waited so long for updates, I'll let you have this scene. 
> 
> I love you all even though you probably won't like me...

 

“Ma! Cora has invited us to go to Mr Mill's gallery in the city.” Henry squealed as he ran inside and launched himself on the bed once he guided himself in with his stick.

Henry was completely oblivious to the tension between the two women on the bed. Noodle was right behind him and whimpered at the base of the bed, needing permission to be let onto the bed.

Regina felt her heart in her throat as Henry came flying in. She was in a state of shock and only a tiny bit of that was due to Henry making her jump.

_Emma kissed her._

_Beautiful, miraculous, perfect mother Emma Swan kissed her._

Even if she could speak she certainly would be lost for words right now.

She reminisced how her body tingled when soft pink lips finally were pressed against hers.  How as cliche as it sounded, fireworks erupted as they kissed.

Regina had no idea what Henry was saying. Her heart beat was mainly what she could hear.

_Henry._

_Henry was a reason why this could not work. I can’t lose that sweet perfect boy. And that’s without mentioning how bad I would be for Emma. Emma deserves everything perfect in this world and I can’t give her that._

_Fuck why did we have to kiss, it’s made everything worse._

_But it was perfect._

...

Henry’s enthusiasm had Emma quickly knocked out of her daze after that kiss. He was talking a mile a minute and couldn’t get a word in edge ways.

She quickly glanced the side and noticed how Regina was shutting down again. Emma knew she needed to act fast but wouldn't be able to with Henry there.

“That sounds amazing. You can tell me more soon but...." Emma looked around trying to think on her feet.

She spotted Noodle still whining, “Oh I think Noodle needs to pee. Will you let him out for me?”

“Sure.” Henry agreed and jumped off the bed before leading Noodle out of the bedroom.

Emma turned and put her hand on Regina’s, who flinched and pulled her hand away.

“Can we talk?” Emma asked, feeling as though she had been punched in the gut with that dismissal.

Regina shook her head and turned away from Emma, feeling her eyes start to well up.

“Regina, please.... we should really talk about this.” Emma pleaded, wanting nothing more to touch and soothe her.

Regina scoffed at the turn of phrase.

_That’s one of the damn big problems...I can’t talk!!_

“Please.” Emma pleaded again as she got off the bed and went to kneel on the floor next to Regina. She did her best to try and get her to make eye contact by getting in her line of vision. However Regina couldn’t handle it.

Her insecurities were hitting her like a tidal wave and she could barely keep it together.

“ _Please go.”_ Regina’s tablet informed her after picking it up. _“I need some time on my own.”_

Emma felt her heart break at the rejection and gave up. With her head bowed she stood up and wrapped her arms around her own torso.

“I... I don’t regret kissing you. I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” Emma informed her with the last bit of confidence she had before leaving the room.

Once she believed Emma was far enough away, Regina let the dam burst. She had to use a pillow to muffle her loud and heart breaking sobs.

A couple of minutes later and her sobs were not letting up. The pillow was soaked and she could barely catch her breath.

She didn’t realise Cora was in the room with her until she was pulled against her mother’s body. Noodle jumped on her other side and lay his head on her hip, giving her arm a nudge with his snout.

“It's okay my sweet girl. Everything is going to be okay.” Cora told Regina as she gently rocked her adult daughter, who was breaking down in front of her.

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eecckk thank you so much for even more comments :). You guys are the best!
> 
> Nothing particularly too graphic but heads up for mention of self harm.

  
A week had gone by and there was radio silence between them. Emma wanted to give Regina space to process everything.

Her own week had been hard for the Deputy. The week was spent working, watching Henry practice his dance routine and trying not to break down.

Emma was dealing with her own feelings of inadequacy. Killian's taunts never far from her mind. Ruby had been a God send was emotionally there for her. She had never had that in her life. Her last foster mother was close however she could never really open up to her.

Ruby had found Emma in the bathroom one late night, broken.

After Emma had put Henry to bed she poured herself a few tumblers of scotch. She only realised the day after that was a huge mistake.  
...  
 _She had gone to the bathroom upstairs and found the window open. She automatically assumed Killian had found her. In fact it had been Henry who had just forgotten to close it._  
 _The sense of dread made her feel as her windpipe was clenching shut. She couldn’t catch her breath and felt painful palpitations in her chest. She ran out of the room and checked Henry’s room. He was fast asleep with his drawing pad resting on his chest. She looked around her room as quietly as she could and made sure his window was locked._

_Once she was sure the room was secure, Emma checked every other room and nothing was out of place. Her nerves had started to calm down but was still on high alert._

_The sound of a key in the front door made her blood run cold. Remembering the baseball bat that was hidden under the bed, she ran to collect it._

_Walking as silently as quickly as she could, Emma got back down stairs and found the door silently open but the chain lock was preventing it to be open._

_“Get on the fucking ground!” She roared at whoever was behind the door._

  
_“Shit! It’s just me!” Ruby called out, fear evident in her voice._

_Emma dropped the bat in realisation at how she had been be having._

_“Are you okay? Is Henry okay?” Ruby asked, not attempting to get in. Her own voice was sounding fearful._

_“Yeah...” Was all Emma could reply with as she closed the door and unlocked the chain so Ruby could come in._

_“Are you okay?” Ruby asked as she carefully walked in and looked Emma over._

_Energy had drained from Emma and she felt as if she was not in control of her body. Emma turned around and made her way back up to the bathroom and locked the door behind her._

_As if on autopilot, Emma took the medicine cabinet key from her pocket and opened it._

_With a shaky hand, Emma found the box of blades that was hidden at the back and took one out, placing the box back on the sink._

_For Emma it was if she had no control on what she was doing right now. All she knew was that she wanted that release._

_Not just release, but to punish herself._

_For letting Killian charm his way into her life._

_For thinking that he helped her through one of the worst depressive episodes and periods of her life because he loved her and was kind._

_For thinking he didn’t want anything for letting her stay at his apartment rent free as she tried to look for work while battling depression and looking after her son._   
_For actually thinking someone could love her for who she was, warts and all._

_But worse of all for letting that man in her son's life. Seeing the spark in her son's eye diminish the longer they stayed._

_It wasn’t until Ruby burst into the bathroom and wrestled the blade out of her hand, that she saw her thighs were covered in cuts and blood._

  
_Ruby led her to the toilet, put the seat down and made her sit. She pushed away just how traumatic the sight was as she looked for materials to clean her up._

_After filling the sink up with hot water and finding what she needed, she made work on cleaning Emma up._

_“Emma I’m going to clean and check your cuts okay. Tell me if you need me to stop at any point.” Ruby told her clearly and gave her forehead a kiss after seeing a small nod of acknowledgment._

_Emma didn’t make a sound as Ruby cleaned her up. She was coming round more and struggled with how she couldn’t remember taking her pants off let alone cutting her already scarred and cut legs to shreds._

_Once Emma was cleaned up and had some dressings applied to the larger cuts, Ruby helped her back to the bedroom. She held her for the rest of the night as Emma finally managed to get some sleep._

_..._

The early morning after, led to Emma revealing to Ruby that she had run away from an abusive relationship but didn’t say more than that. She also shared how she has used cutting as a coping mechanism since she was a kid.

Since Emma opened up, Ruby shared that she used to use drink, drugs and sex as a way to cope with the trauma of guilt she felt in regards to her parents murder.

Which led to topic of therapy. Emma had hated it as a child when she had been forced to go. She never opened up and was extremely stubborn at not saying a word to any of them after a while.

Emma agreed it was time to get some help. She was in a good place and had a family around her that she had never had before. This time was as good as any to finally take the plunge.

Emma wanted to be a better person and to be able to give her son the best life. Another reason was so she could be there for Regina as well.

She had started to fall hard for her and needed to be at her best, especially since Regina was going through a bad time herself. Even if they couldn’t date right now, so she was going to be a damn good friend for her.

“ **I have given you the space you asked for. Henry won’t be coming to yours tonight as he has been invited to a sleepover. Was a last minute invitation. I’m going to come over after work and we are having a conversation that we both need.**

**I have missed you a lot x.”**

A couple of minutes later she received a message.

**“Okay. And I’ve missed you a lot too x.”**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. My muse has been a uninspiring piece of crap while I've been trying to deal with shit.
> 
> But again a million thank yous for all the reviews. I can't even begin to tell you what it means to me that people actually like my work.

  
The day had gone agonisingly slow for Emma as she waited for her shift to end.

Once Emma had finished, she found herself in front of Regina’s front door. An aloe Vera plant in one hand and a bag full of Indian food in the other.

Kat opened the door and looked relieved to see Emma there.

“Hello Emma, it’s good to see you.”

Emma gave her a nervous smile and a nod. Although she was incredibly nervous she also felt determined that they were going to finally talk about the white elephant in the room.

Plus the fact that she had booked in to see Dr Hopper for her first therapy session, had given her a boost of self belief that she could handle this.

“I’ll put this food in the oven to keep warm then I will get out of your hair.” Kat took the bag of food and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“She is in the living room.”

Emma thanked her and walked into the living room. She found Regina sat on the couch, Noodle asleep with his head on her lap.

“Hey....can I take a seat?” Emma asked, while stood in front of her.

Regina gave a quick look up and nodded before focusing her attention back down at the dog. Her hand was slowly stroking his soft dark curls.

Emma took a seat next to her and the disturbance woke Noodle up. The poodle lifted his head to acknowledge the blonde and as soon as he got a stroke from her he put his head back down on Regina’s lap.

“How have you been?” Emma asked while turning her attention to Regina.

Regina cleared her throat before shrugging at Emma. She picked her tablet up and typed, “ _Miserable to be honest. I have missed you._ ”

Emma smiled a touch as Regina admitted that she had missed her. “I missed you too. It has been so hard not to text you.”

_“I’ve missed your stupid pictures.”_

“They’re memes Regina.”

Regina rolled her eyes.

“ _That’s what I said, stupid pictures.”_

She really had missed the attention from Emma. Even by sending those humorous photos it showed Regina that Emma was thinking about her. And that made her feel all warm inside. Something she hasn’t felt before Emma for such a long time.  
Emma took a deep breath and straightened up her spine, “We need to talk.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Regina’s quiet scoff at the phrase.

“Lose the attitude, Mills.” Emma with a faux firmness.

Emma smiled at Regina's small smirk at her comment.

“ _Make me.”_ The tablet spoke and Regina gave her a mischievous look.

Emma laughed and shook her head, “Why would I when I like the attitude really?” Emma leaned in to say it quietly with a cheeky grin.

Regina gave her a once over with such a confident look and that smirk was still there. Emma was a puddle on the couch from that look. The connection from brain to mouth had been severed by that stare.

Emma shook herself out of that daze and sat back. “Stop distracting me.” Emma huffed and gave her a playful wag of her finger.

“We need to talk about us...and I can’t speak if you’re looking at me all...alluring ...” She tried to explain but Regina was still smirking at her.

But then Regina took pity on her and nodded, giving her a more casual smile. She picked her tablet up and after pressing it a few times she held it up to her chest.

Regina closed eyes and took a few moments before handing it over to Emma.

Emma carefully took the tablet and saw a long message had already been wrote down in a document.

**“I used to be excellent with words but now obviously I’m not. I’m not who I used to be in so many ways. I’ve lost so much. I hate to talk about my past as it’s just a reminder of what I’ve lost and what I can’t do anymore. I miss the crazy hours at work. I miss being able to go out swimming. Being able to go out and meet with Kathryn and Red. I miss being able to drive anywhere the hell I wanted. For God’s sake I miss being able to take the bins out. I can’t even go for a bath on my own in case I slip.**

**I was extremely independent, I’ve always been. But I can’t even cook for myself anymore. Do you know how humiliating and frustrating all that is? I want to scream and shout and swear. But I’m too damn anxious to even swear around anyone to try and get my feelings across.**  
**When I feel I may try and talk, I start to feel sick. My stomach feels like a cement mixer full of anxiety. Feels as though my throat is closing shut and that I may pass out because I’m going to stop breathing. I feel my chest tighten and I know everyone will just stare and laugh at me.**

**Over a year ago I was in hospital and talking was just too much. So I just stopped. It was far easier especially since I didn’t want to be around people anyway. I was extremely depressed but I’m not ready to talk about why I was in hospital.**

**I’ve seen so many people give me these looks of pity or ignore me when I used to still go out. I’ve been out once since I was in hospital and that was because I had a flare up and needed a few days of observation and course of steroids. Luckily my mother managed to organise my own room because I don’t think I could have coped being with others.**

**Every time I have a flare up of my MS, my mobility takes a massive hit want it takes time and physio to improve it. However recently, I’ve been working hard on my physio. I didn’t care before. I wasn’t living, I was just surviving and barely at that.**

**But then your sweet Henry bounced up to me and talked to me like we had met many times before. He wasn’t fazed at all that I didn’t speak and he gave me tips on how we could communicate. He accepted me for me straight away. There was no pity.**

**He is perfect Emma and you should be so proud of how you have raised him.**

**And you Emma... when you first walked in you took my breath away, seriously. I couldn’t handle someone as stunning as you being anywhere near me. I felt disgusting and ashamed and so angry. I was childish in ignoring Ruby the way I did, but you completely overwhelmed me.**

**You and Henry have been a breath of fresh air. Kathryn and Red have been remarkable and god I have no idea how they have put up with me. But you two have given me a spark. You both have started lift me from the deep despair I was feeling.**

**This last week has been miserable. I’ve missed you incredibly. But I’m scared Emma. I’m scared I will lose you both. Henry is incredibly important to me and when you get sick of me and you will do, it will break me not to be able to see him. My fiancée left me because he couldn’t handle me. I don’t have much to offer you both.**

**But on the other hand I want nothing more than to maybe see where this will lead us.**  
**If we do try something, it has to go really slow. Glacial even, because I’m petrified.”**

Emma read the note slowly so as not to miss a single word. She hurt for the woman, especially knowing that some guy had just left her like that. And also at how low Regina’s self esteem was.

However, her heart started to beat harder against her chest and she felt butterflies as she read that Regina wanted to take a chance.

“We can go as slow as you want Regina, I promise.”

Regina felt sick watching Emma read that note. She hadn’t really opened up to anybody in such a long time. The nausea soon left as she saw that smile though. For the first time in who knows how long she felt hopeful.

With a sudden flash of confidence she cupped Emma's cheek with her hand. Her thumb ran over Emma's bottom lip, enjoying how soft it was.

“Would it be too fast if I kissed you right now?” Emma whispered while not breaking their intense eye contact.

Regina gave her an intense look and shook her head before leaning in and pressing her lips against hers.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, their lips simply pressed together. Both felt tingles run through their body as Regina made the first move and started to kiss her properly. The pair kept the kiss super slow but enjoyed the way their lips melded perfectly together as if they had been kissing for years.

Regina thread her fingers through Emma's hair at the back as she deepened the kiss a little more.

Once oxygen was becoming an issue they both pulled back a few inches. Regina licked her lips, as they tingled.

Her eyes were still shut as she didn’t want to break the spell she was under.

“Wow....That was.....oh Wow.” Was all Emma could say to explain how she was feeling.

Regina opened her eyes and let out a soft laugh at the goofy grin Emma was sporting. She nodded her head in agreement because that kiss was mind blowing.

There were no interruptions and neither were running away. It was a perfect ‘first’ kiss.

She had seen Regina smile before, grin and smirk. However, she had never heard her laugh and it was the most beautiful sound she that ever heard.

“Everything about you is beautiful, Regina. And part of what you wrote is not true. You have so much to give, not just to me but to Henry and your loved ones. You have a massive heart...” Emma placed her hand gently over the middle of Regina’s chest innocently. “...and I’m unbelievably touched you have let both Henry and I into it.”

Regina could feel the lump in her throat start to form to go with the tears that were threatening to fall.

Emma gave her a loving smile while wiping a few errant tears on the tops of her cheeks with both thumbs.

“We will go as slow as you need. But know that just because you have a disability, it doesn’t affect how I feel about you..”

Emma couldn’t finish what she was saying as Regina was kissing her with far more passion than before.

Noodle got off Regina’s lap with a loud huff as he wasn’t being stroked anymore. He made his way to the bed in the corner as his owner showed Emma just how much she liked her.

 They also hadn't noticed Kat in the doorway who was just about to say goodbye to them.  She bit down a squeal as she saw the pair kissing and quickly managed to snap a photo before quietly leaving the house so she could ring Ruby as fast as possible.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so thank you again for former fantastic feedback and comments. They mean so much to me. This is just a little fluff bit. Not sure how I feel about it but meh it's something! Hope y'all enjoy.

 

The pair spent a good twenty minutes making out like teenagers. Regina's adrenaline had started to wear off and had become sore and tired. She felt it was worth it though as Emma’s kisses ignited something I side her she thought was dead and buried.

However, Regina eventually pulled back, panting softly from the intensity of their make out session.

Emma couldn’t help but gently nip at Regina’s lip before their separation “Wow.....that was intense. You’re an amazing kisser.”

Emma’s pupils were dilated and giving Regina an intense look. A look that showed Regina she would take her there and then if it was allowed.

Regina let out a husky whimper at seeing her expression once her eyes fluttered open.

Emma was about to kiss her again after hearing that whimper but as she was about to lean forward she saw how pained Regina was looking. Regina was trying to hide it but Emma could see.

“Okay, so we need to kiss like that again soon. I’m glad I’m sitting because my legs would have given way after that kiss.” Emma said with a grin after taking a deep breath, bringing herself back in the moment.

Regina looked down but had a bashful smile on her face. She nodded her agreement and leant back against the couch, barely able to keep upright.

That kiss had exhausted her and she closed her eyes again as she tried to find some comfort against the couch. Regina believed every second of that kiss was worth the pain and fatigue that followed.

  
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I’m going to bring dinner in.” Emma gave her cheek a lingering kiss before leaving to retrieve food.  
....

They both ate in a happy silence but soon Regina was falling asleep as she tried to eat the plate of food that was on her lap. The woman was physically and mentally exhausted. But Regina didn’t want the evening to end.

 _“I am so sorry Emma. But I simply can not stay awake much longer.”_ The automated voice spoke out.

“That’s fine, babe. Ruby told me to ring her once you’re ready to retire for the night.”

“ _Babe_?” Regina typed win an eyebrow raised.

“Shit, do you not like being called that?” Emma winced.

 _“No one other than Red has attempted to call me that since College. BUT....I kind of like it coming from you.”_ Regina smiled as the phone read out her message.

Emma let out a soft of relief once she realised she hadn’t messed up. “Well I think addressing you as your majesty should be kept for special occasions.” Emma teased her with a wink and another kiss to the cheek.

After taking the plates to the kitchen, Emma text Ruby to Inform her Regina needed to go to bed. Emma would have offered to help but knew that was a very sore spot for Regina. They would have to address it but for know she let it be.

**“I’m surprised you’re texting me right now. After the photo Kat sent me I thought you two would already be in bed ;).”**

Emma blushed as she realised Kat must have seen them kissing. She was far too happy to be angry about that photo though.

“ ** _Regina is a lady and must be treated as such.”_**

**“I’m not saying a thing ;). Btw you purposely hurt her and I will end you. But I am soooooo happy for you two. Are you dating now?”**

_**“If I did, you have full permission to end me. I have absolutely no intention to hurt her on purpose. We are taking things very, very slowly.”** _

**“That is wise. Btw I will say the same to Gina. You mean a lot to me too and I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”**

Emma felt the prick at the back of her eyes. No one since her last foster mother, had her back.

 _ **“I don’t know what to say, Red. But thank you. You mean a lot to me too**_.” Emma wiped at her eyes with the back of her wrist as she pushed down the urge to cry.

**“Don’t be getting soppy on me ;). I’m a few minutes away. Will you wait to give me a lift back?”**

_**“Shut up lol. And of course I will.”** _

...

Once Regina was quickly washed and in bed, Emma said her goodbyes.

She sat down next to Regina on the bed and stroked the sleepy woman’s cheek. “Thank you for giving me a chance, Regina. I will do my best to not let you down. Is it alright if I give you one last kiss?”

Emma was a little nervous to ask again, even though they had not long ago made out like teenagers. She doesn’t want Regina to bolt again.

Regina gave Emma a tired smile while reaching to put her hand behind the blonde’s neck. After giving her a quick but heated kiss she nestled herself back into her cushions.

“You’re going to be the death of me with those kisses, your majesty.” Emma said with a goofy grin as she stood up. Emma blew her a kiss and reluctantly left her bedroom.  
...

Emma barely remembered driving home with Ruby as she was on cloud nine.

Once they got back to her house, Ruby dragged Emma to the living room and sat her down.

“Spill everything right now.” Ruby demanded.

Emma let out a happy sigh and leant back against the couch as she gave a recount of the evening.

....

  
The next morning, Emma woke up refreshed after one of the best nights sleep she’s ever had.

Emma decided to stay in bed for a extremely rare lie in. Henry was at his friend's house until late afternoon so she decided to take advantage of that fact.

Picking her phone, she debated on whether it was too eager or not to text Regina. She didn’t want to play any games so decided to text her.

“ **Good morning sleeping beauty. I don’t know about you but I’m still grinning.”**

_“I’m more commonly known as the Evil Queen, Emma. But yes I woke up for the first time in years with a smile on my face. ”_

**“Okay so don’t give me visuals of you dressed up as the Evil Queen so early in the morning, how the hell am I going to settle now.. that is truly evil ;)”**

  
Regina giggled to herself as she read that text.

“ _Well I do have photos of that..”_

Emma chewed on her bottom lip as she was told that. A slight ache formed between her legs at the thought of that.

**“Okay so part of me is like... send them haha. But the bigger part of me is being understanding and not a massive perve. But....shit, what a fantastic mental image I have right now, babe.”**

  
_“Maybe I will let you see those photos another day. As long as you behave ;).”_

  
_“Can I ask when I will see you again?”_

**“I am picking Henry up this afternoon. Would you like to have a late lunch before I pick him up?”**

_“That sounds delightful, dear. Or you could come for dinner and bring Henry?”_

**“What about both? We should talk more about us first while Henry is not around. *whispers* And so we can make out some more.”**

_“Miss Swan, you are such a dork.”_

**“I’m not denying that babe. But I’m a sexy dork.”**

_“I can not deny that either. My sexy dork.”_

Emma had the biggest grin on her face at that message.

**“Your dork?”**

“ _My dork. I agree that we do need to talk more about us and what this all means.”_

**“I will bring lunch then. I can’t wait to see you again. Can we make the talk quick though as my lips miss you the most :p.”**

_“You're not as smooth as you think you are Miss_ Swan.”

_“.....but mine miss yours as well.”_

Emma let out a loud laugh and jumped out of bed.

 _ **“;) knew it. I will see you in a couple of hours for our date**._ ”

Emma sent a boomerang of herself blowing a kiss to Regina.

The butterflies fluttered harder than usual in her stomach as she kept re watching that clip.

Regina giggled as she watched it one last time before transferring to her chair and started her day.

 

 

 

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I will get to responding to all the comments soon. They mean the absolute world to me.
> 
> Angsty angst angst here :(. Please tell me what you all think.

  
Their lunch date resulted in; a tiny bit of food, practically no talking and a lot of kissing on the giant sofa.

As their kisses started to get particularly heated, Emma giggled and pulled away. A flash of hurt swept across Regina’s features causing Emma to cradle her face in her hands.

“Oh babe, I’m not laughing at you. I’m....I’m so happy right at this moment, I feel I could burst.” Emma explained, giving her a loving smile.

Regina let out a sigh of relief and gave a nod. Her own smile growing just as big as Emma’s. She was having a particularly good day; pain and energy wise.

Regina leaned back in and placed soft kisses from her chin, up her jaw line and to her ear. Regina took the lobe between her teeth and gave a slight tug before kissing over the shell of her ear. Her tongue slowly and gently teased outside and inside her ear. Fingers gripped blonde hair as she heard those delicious moans.

Emma's eyes rolled back as shivers ran through her body and straight to her core. Their nipples hardened and strained against their shirts.

“Oh fuck....just...mmm.. just to...oh god....my ears....mmmm...turn on...massive turn on.”

Regina had reduced Emma to a bumbling mess with her mouth only on her ear.

She wanted to whisper some naughty ideas into her ear like she had used to do to Ruby. Regina knew how effective her voice and words used to be on others. How she could get them quivering and begging for release.

But she pushed those thoughts aside, knowing that wasn’t something she could do again. Instead she took full advantage of this new knowledge and teased the hell out of the stunning woman until she had to go.

...

The next couple of weeks flew by for them. Every Friday, Emma and Henry would stay for dinner and for the night. They both agreed though that Emma would stay in the spare bedroom.

Things were going well for the pair. Their friendly banter returned through texts and whenever they got chance they would be making out like hormonal teenagers.

However, they had yet to have a serious discussion about what was expected or wanted. Plus both agreed that they wouldn't tell Henry yet.

All that Regina said was that she didn’t want Emma to help her in anyway unless specifically asked; Regina never asked.

Emma left it at that, since it was clear Regina did not want to discuss it anymore. Emma was more than happy with how things were going though.

There was no pressure on either party. Another upside was Henry was the happiest he had ever been. He was busy with school, dancing, social life and his new family.

She was incredibly proud of her son at how well he was adapting to a new life. She especially loved the deeper bond that was forming between Regina and her son.

Emma couldn’t get rid of the fear on the back of her mind though. The fear Killian would one day find her and they would have to run again.

The fear that she would have to leave Regina behind made her want to scream late at night when her thoughts seem to spiral.

Emma tried to keep herself in the moment and focus on the positives of the now.

She had no social media and certainly was not planning on doing so. She wanted to stay as invisible as possible.

Another positive was Emma hadn’t cut herself since that day Ruby had found her. That’s not to say she hadn’t wanted to. But she was doing her best to not slip.

On the Saturdays that Cora would be at Regina’s, Emma and Henry tended to go just after breakfast.

Emma felt conflicted about Regina’s mum. On one hand the woman was so kind to Henry, completely enamoured. But on the other, she was daunting to Emma.

They didn’t speak much, mainly about work. But she had the feeling that Cora was judging her, or assessing her in some way.

Regina didn’t want to tell her mother yet about them yet, explaining that she would make a big deal out of it.

Emma was fine with that, since she feared Cora had the ability to turn her to stone with just a glare. She didn’t want Cora telling her that she was no good for her daughter.

....

It was late on a Friday night when Emma, who was still awake, heard a pained scream.

She threw herself off her bed and sprinted to Regina’s bedroom. The door burst open and she found Regina on the floor near the bed and the wheelchair nowhere near her.

“Shit, where does it hurt?” She asked, kneeling down next to her, trying to assess the damage.

Regina looked in a lot of pain and her eyes wet from tears. She had needed the toilet in the night but as she was half asleep she had unlocked the breaks on her wheelchair instead of keeping them locked.

After standing up she went to turn to get into her chair but she ended up nudging the chair with her foot and it started to move. Regina went to sit down but it was a little too far back, instead she ended up falling onto the leg rest bar and falling to the floor. She ended up scratching her hip and landed hard.

Regina on instinct pushed Emma away, not wanting her near her. She hadn’t had a fall in a while but it was always humiliating.

Regina was doing her best not to sob but she was finding that a struggle. Instead Regina looked at her with an angry glare and pointed to the door. She didn’t want her not girlfriend to see her like this.

“No Regina, I am not going to leave you like this. No way.” Emma said with a firm voice and stared back just as fiercely.

“Now can you get up by yourself or do you need assistance?” Emma asked as she got up to grab Regina's phone.

Regina unfairly snatched the phone off of Emma and typed, **“Get the hell out and leave me alone. I will be fine.”**

“I will be gone once I know you are safely back into bed. I’m assuming you needed the toilet?” Emma kept calm, knowing Regina was probably not only in pain but embarrassed.

“Now do you think you can get back onto the bed?”

Regina was fuming, she wasn’t going to let Emma help her. It was awful enough to have Emma see her in this vulnerable state.

She pointed to the door again, her face going red with anger and pain. She was humiliated and could not handle Emma right now.

“Regina, darling, I am not going to leave you on the floor. It’s three am, Ruby and Kat are probably extremely drunk and asleep right now after their night out.” Emma explained calmly.

Regina knew there was no one else. She had the care link pendant but that would just mean they would call someone on her list to come round. That would mean either Kat, Ruby, her parents or emergency services. She did not want to scare her mother, plus it would take over two hours to get here

She ignored Emma as she shuffled her way closer to the frame that was attached to the side of the bed. Her right hip was not only stinging but aching from the fall. She knew there was going to be a huge bruise forming there.

Tears started to stream down her face as she struggled to get on her knees. After a few attempts she managed to pull herself up onto the bed. She landed on her front and was grateful to take some pressure word her sore hip.

The fall had led to sciatic pain that ran down from her buttocks to her foot. She wanted to scream but didn’t have the energy to.

Emma had to use all her will power not to physically help the woman up. All she wanted to do was to lessen the pain.

She picked up the phone and gave it back to Regina. Emma manoeuvred the wheelchair back into position and put the brakes on.

“Would you like help getting to the toilet?” She asked but wasn’t surprised by the glare she was subjected to.

“Helping you doesn’t make me feel different about you, you know? I still find you a remarkable and beautiful woman. And I know if it was vice versa you would want to help me. I mean just look how much you have helped Henry? You make sure everything is adapted as much as possible so Henry can take part in whatever it is. And I know it isn’t because you feel sorry for him. When I want to help it’s not because I feel sorry for you. I just want to help someone special to me.”

Emma let out a sad sigh as Regina gave no response.  She went to kiss Regina who had move to lay on her good side.

Regina flinched and moved away, not wanting Emma anywhere near her.

That rejection broke Emma’s heart. “Okay...erm...” She cleared her throat and stepped back.

“Text me if you need me. Hope you get some rest.” She cleared her throat again, trying to push the lump in the throat down.

After one last look at Regina she left the room, closing the door to but not shut.

Regina was in far more agony than she was letting on and burst into tears once she knew Emma was far enough away.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for all these amazing and thoughtul comments. I promise I will get round to replying individually to the last few chapters soon. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.

 

Emma reached her room and closed the door with a quiet snick. The rejection felt like a kick to the gut and she had to fight her own tears. She had to force herself to realise it wasn’t a personal thing. Regina didn’t suddenly not like her but that she was most likely embarrassed.

However she was worried about any possible injuries. She didn’t want to disturb Ruby but felt like she had to.  
...

  
Emma was wrapped up in a big faux fur blanket on the porch, as she waited for Ruby to arrive.

“I’m going to kick her ass.” Ruby said with a stern look on her face. “Damn, stubborn ass.” She grumbled and sat next to Emma.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, wrapping her arms around Emma, giving the top of her head a kiss.

“I’m okay.” Emma melted into her best friends arms. “Just worried she has hurt herself. I’m sorry I had to drag you out. You must be exhausted.”

“Oh don’t worry about me. Luckily I only drank a bit so I’m sober now. She is in for it though.” Ruby assured her. “I will speak to her properly in the morning. Go to bed and I will check on her.”

...

Ruby quietly walked into Regina's bedroom and turned on a side lamp that was furthest away from her.

“I know you're awake, Gina.” She said quietly after noticing how she was breathing.

Regina had her back facing her but shrugged.

“I’m going to check on your hip. And there will be no damn arguing.” Ruby wasn’t in the mood and was going to give her a piece of her mind in the morning.

Right now though was about making sure she was okay and that she would get her to sleep. Ruby pulled the blanket down and saw the angry looking scratch and early formation of a large bruise.

“Stop letting your damn pride get in the way.” She told as she went to get ointment and Arnica to use from the bathroom cabinet.

Once Ruby checked over the rest of her and provided some pain relief, she put an oversized tee on and got into her bed.

“You’re going to hold me tonight but don’t think you’re getting away with this bullshit, Regina.” Ruby knew Regina needed to hear some home truths but she gave her the power at that moment. She knew Regina wouldn’t appreciate the being the little spoon right now.

Regina let Ruby attend to her, knowing it would be a losing battle especially with how exhausted she was.

Regina eagerly wrapped her arm around Ruby’s waist and nuzzled her face into the back of her neck.

If it was going to be anything like the way she ripped into Ruby all those years ago, in hospital, then she knew it was going to be a tough day.

Regina felt the warmth from the liquid morphine spread through her body. She drew a lazy heart on Ruby's stomach.

“I love you with everything I have Gina. But don't think you can sweet talk your way out of tomorrow.” Ruby was firm but Regina could hear the love and slightly playful tone.

“Playing with my hair, might help your case though.”

The corner of her lip twitched as she heard that. With a heavy limb, Regina played with her hair before falling asleep within minutes.

...  
  
Ruby let Regina sleep in as she got up for the day. Exhausted, Ruby went for a shower and got dressed.

Ruby found Emma leading Cora into the kitchen, Henry and Noodle were already there.

Cora was confused as to why Ruby was there but she gave a shake of her head and a look. A look indicating not to question it right now.

“Gina is having a lie in.” Was all she explained before going to help set out breakfast.

...

Breakfast was a quieter affair with Henry telling Cora about his week. Emma picked at her own breakfast, struggling with her emotions form last night.

Ruby gave her knee a squeeze under the table to provide some support. Emma provided Ruby with a weak smile before tidying up her plates.

...

“We should get back home, Hen.” Emma said once the kitchen was cleared up.

“No, I haven’t seen Gina though!” Henry whined and gave her a sad look.

Emma was about to tell him off about whining but Cora cut her off.

“Well how about you and your mother join me in taking Noodle for a walk. Regina may be awake by the time we get back.”

“Oh mum, please can we?” He asked with an eager voice.

“Erm...okay, if you’re sure that’s alright with you?” Emma was nervous to spend time alone with Cora.

“I would not have suggested it if I wasn’t, dear. Now go fetch your coat.” Cora told Henry with a smile.

“I will see to Regina.” Ruby told Cora quietly and gave her a pointed look. Cora nodded and the trio left with Noodle to go to the park.

...

They two adults sat at a park bench, watching Henry and Noodle play fetch. Both a little jealous of how energetic they were.

Emma had no idea how to make small talk with Cora, the older woman seemed quite intense.

Cora was still facing forward as she started to speak, “I’m going to be frank Emma, you’ve made my daughter the happiest I’ve seen her in years. But also the most upset in a while.”

Emma looked distraught and was about to answer but Cora gently gave her hand a squeeze and turned to face her.

  
“In the grand scheme of things it’s actually positive. She has life back in her and is experiencing more emotions. Over the year before you arrived all I ever saw was a depressed shell of a daughter in constant pain. You and that beautiful son of yours have helped put life back in my daughter.   
Honestly never thought I’d see that again. So even though I’ve seen her really upset over you, I’ve seen her with the biggest smile on her face as she’s told me about you both.   
I want to protect my daughter from everything, if I could take her pain away I would in a heartbeat. I’d take it for myself and I’m sure you would do the same as a mother...”

  
Cora gave hand another squeeze was she took a moment to gather herself.  “I won’t meddle in whatever is going on between you two....even though I actually want to knock some sense into her. Because I can imagine whatever happened last night between you two it was probably due to her pride getting in the way?”

Emma nodded, deathly quiet as she listened to Cora. She stared into her lap as she spoke.

From the first meeting with Cora she never imagined the woman be so warm to her. And also seemingly giving her approval.

  
“Regina is a very closed off person, she’s never liked to feel that people have power over her, hates feeling inadequate.... Should have seen all her school reports, ‘excels in all subjects but can be very confrontational’” she chuckled softly, rubbing her thumb over Emma’s hand.

“I didn’t help matters though. I pushed her hard growing up, I wanted what was best for her, she always had to strive for more. For Regina to become the absolute best and then some.   I should have made it clearer that she would always be enough for me, however her life would pan out. That it’s okay to not be the absolute best at everything and that’s it’s okay to share your feelings with others. That it’s okay to fail and make mistakes.”

  
Emma was not used to this maternal touch since her last foster mother. She put her other hand on Cora’s as she could see the tiny tell on her face that Cora was struggling.

Cora cleared her throat, appreciating the comfort.

“My advice would be to make it so things are as equal as possible. Make it known she can help you, that’s it’s all not one side.

Her mind needs to be given the platform it deserves. She’s a genius but has let herself stagnate. Not everything is obviously going to be equal but I think she needs to feel that she contributes. That she is in an equal partnership.” Cora explained, frustration but love clear in her voice.

  
Emma was silent for a short time as she lets things digest in her mind.

“Thank you Cora. She had a fall in the middle of the night. But she didn’t let me help at all or even try and tell me if she was hurt anywhere. All I wanted to do was comfort her and offer help but she wouldn’t allow it at all. She looked so angry and was pointing me to the door. And....and once she got on the bed I went to..” She stopped as she realised she was going to out them without permission. “...hug her, but she recoiled.”

That had hurt her so much. She felt rejected but she had to tell herself it wasn’t personal even though it felt it.

“I will take your advice, Cora. Thank you, it makes a lot of sense actually.”

Cora gave her a sympathetic look and the pair fell into silence. She knew there was more to their relationship but she wasn’t going to meddle. They turned their attention back to watching Henry and Noodle play like they didn’t have a care in the world.

 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow getting all your comments and kudos has been insane. Thank you so so much. It makes me feel so good that people are still loving and enjoying this story. 
> 
> I'm up to date responding to most comments but not all yet.
> 
> But Shiphappens I need to attempt to find your longer comment, but yeah a tl;dr your words were very thoughtful, thank you. 
> 
> Big big shoutout to my regular reviewers I love you guys ♡♡♡♡
> 
> And muchos love to Barbie ♡♡♡

 

Regina woke up to Ruby sat on the end of her bed. She was feeling a bit foggy from the late night morphine.

Regina rolled onto her sore hip and yelped, momentarily forgetting about the injury.

Ruby jumped in surprise and quickly stood next to her.

“Are you okay?” Ruby asked, pulling the duvet from Regina wanting to assess the damage.

Regina nodded and moved gingerly so her legs were hanging off the bed. She took her phone and typed, “ _My hip is sore but nothing too bad. Tender more than anything. The painkillers and Arnica helped so thank you.”_

Ruby read the message and gave a nod, “That’s good. Now go use the bathroom, we are going to have a talk.” Ruby arched her eyebrow up and gave her a look that dared her to even think about arguing.

...

Regina took longer than usual in the bathroom in an attempt to put off the inevitable.

She knew what was coming from Ruby but that didn’t mean she wanted to hear it (whether Red was right or not.)

After brushing her teeth and taking as long as possible she finally pushed herself out of the bathroom.

“Okay so what the fuck was last night about?!” Ruby exclaimed, pacing the room with her arms gesticulating.

Regina lowered her head and gave a child like shrug.

“I know you’re proud and you don’t want Emma to be a carer. But you didn’t have to be a dick about it. You really upset Emma.”

Regina kept her head down and did not try to protest. She felt awful for hurting her Emma.

“Regina, you’re going to have to let her see all of you if you’re going to have a successful relationship.

Emma doesn’t care that you’re disabled, it isn’t a deal breaker for her like that fucker.”

Ruby was still pacing as she ranted, still angry at Robin for being a selfish prick, not even having the balls to have that conversation with Regina. All apparently Regina was worth to him was being dumped by letter.

“Emma likes you so much, Gina. But you’re going to have to get your head out of your ass if she’s going to stay around. She’s been through a lot of shit and the last thing she needs is you messing her about, blowing hot and cold. It’s not fair on Emma.”

Regina looked up at her with fire in her eyes after picking up her tablet and frantically typed, _“I am not purposely messing her about.”_

“Purposely you’re not, but you have been push and pull until now. Do you really want to have to call me after you’ve fucked so I can help you get dressed? You have to ask yourself Gina, do you really want this relationship enough to start working on yourself? And I mean by proper therapy. Working on letting Emma in, accepting Emma’s support, going out in public and your mutism.”

Regina gasped as she felt a punch of anxiety in her stomach. She gripped her wheels and focussed on her breathing as she became overwhelmed.

That was the big question wasn’t it. Was she ready to work hard, go to some dark places in order to try and feel better?

She didn’t notice Ruby had knelt in front of her as she closed her eyes. The image of herself, Emma, Henry and Noodle walking along the boardwalk came back in her mind. That was the goal. Emma looking at her with love in her eyes. Feeling the breeze on her face while smelling the distinctive sea air. Going out as a family.

Having a family.

Was she willing to work for that? To escape her restrictive but safe shell she has made for herself to have a family.

....

Henry and Noodle came bounding in, Emma and Cora close behind them. Emma felt she had a plan forming in her mind on how to show Regina it could be a equal relationship. Emma was desperate for this to work between them. She had never felt this way about another person before.

Ruby walked out of the kitchen with a smile on her face, “Did You have a nice walk?”

“We did Red, thanks. Is Gina Up?” Henry asked, using his cane to walk up to her.

“She is in the kitchen and eager to see you.”

“Thanks Red!” Henry grinned and made his way to the kitchen, Noodle hot on his heels.

“I love that he feels so safe here.” Emma said quietly, more to herself but the others heard.

“He will always be safe here. And so will you.” Ruby took a step in front of Emma and cupped her face.

“You are very much loved and protected here, please never doubt that.”

Emma felt she could cry from the genuine kindness coming from Ruby.

She smiled back at Ruby before leaning in to hug her, “I love you too. You’re the best friend I wish I had growing up but grateful that I have now.”

“You’re one of my best friends too now.” Ruby told her, holding her close.

“I wasn’t too harsh on her by the way. But any more trouble come to me.” She half joked.

“I had a good talk with Cora too.” She whispered.

“See, she’s not so scary when you’re in her good books eh?” She whispered with a giggle.

Ruby eventually pulled away and kissed her forehead.

“Right ladies, I need to go home and sleep before my hot date tonight.”

“You have a date?” Emma asked, giving her a grin. “Who is it?”

Ruby gave her an unusual for her shy smile, “With this girl...But I don’t want to jinx anything so no details yet.”

“Well how am I going to know if this girl is suitable for you?” Cora said with a purse of her lips.

Ruby smiled and shook her head, “I’m not scaring her off so early with you interrogating her, Cora.”

“Well if she can scare off that easily then she isn’t good enough for you, my girl. But then again, I don’t think there is anyone good enough for you.” Cora swiped a strand of hair away from Ruby’s face then tilted her chin up.

“Be safe tonight.” Cora gave each cheek a kiss and left to go into the kitchen after Ruby promised.

“See, she’s a teddy bear really.”

“With claws.” Emma joked but agreed with her.

“You better give me details of the night if you won’t at least tell me who it is. I want _all_ the details.” Emma’s dirty grin grew.

“Well I know already she’s a fantastic kisser. Fuck, Emma that girl can kiss. I can only imagine what that mouth can do to other places.” Ruby let out a frustrated groan and Emma laughed.

“I’m sure you won’t have to wait too long to find out. I’ll be surprised if she can keep her hands off someone as hot as you.” Emma told her, giving her ass a playful slap as she walked past. “Have fun and if you can’t behave be careful.”

 

 

 

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again soo sooo much for the comments ♡♡♡♡♡.
> 
> I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It may disappear and be re done if I hate it tomorrow. 
> 
> But another chapter is another chapter eh? 
> 
> Oh by the way is anyone else going to the Starfury: Enchanted Convention in England?? I'm so excited to meet Lana ♡♡♡

 

Emma walked in to the kitchen to find Henry and Regina kneading bread. Cora was looking like she was about to blow a gasket at the mess. She started to clean around them so she wouldn't say anything.

“What are you guys up to?” Emma smiled softly at the pair and sat next to Regina at the table.

Regina gave her an apologetic smile and pecked Emma’s cheek.

Emma was quite stunned at that after last night but she certainly was not going to complain.

“We are making bread, Ma. I’ve never made bread before.” Henry explained as he not only enjoyed the task but also the sensory experience.

 _**“**_ Well you better save me some, then.”

Regina wiped down her hands and wrote on a pad, “ **Can we talk after, if you’re not busy of course? I need to apologise among other things.”**

 _ **“I have no plans, so yeah. Are we okay? How’s the hip?**_ ” Emma wrote her answer down, not wanting Henry to worry.

 **“It’s a bit tender but it will be okay. And yes we are okay... I hope I haven’t ruined everything though.”** Regina held her hand underneath the table to reassure Emma.

“ ** _You’ve not ruined anything. I understand it is hard to accept help. Do you think your mum could look after Henry while we talk?”_**

**“I’m sure she will.”**

....

Cora gladly took Henry out to the library after Regina asked for some space.

Emma made them both a herbal tea and got themselves comfy on the couch.

Regina took her tablet and made it speak aloud. “ _I’m extremely sorry for my reaction last night. I was hurt, scared but mainly embarrassed. I didn’t want you to see me like that._

_I have to admit, Emma, that I’m petrified of becoming a burden to you and then you end up leaving me. I need you and Henry in my life. Even if it’s just as friends, I still need you both.”_

Emma took her left hand and brought it up to kiss it. “You wouldn’t become a burden to me. I told you before, your disability isn’t an issue for me. You’re a complete and complex person.

I can emphasize with the not wanting to have help though. Just look at my reaction when you gave Henry his computer. I felt completely inadequate as a mother.

I have failed him a lot in his life, but actually accepting help has helped him thrive and become the happiest I’ve ever known him.”

Emma admitted with an edge of shame. She focussed her attention to Regina's hand as she stroked it.

“You’re a big part of that you know? Of why he’s so content and happy.”

Regina smiled at hearing that confession. She adored that child and knowing she made him just as happy, lifted her.

  
“ _Really_?”

“Really.” Emma looked up, giving her a sincere smile before kissing her hand again.

“I’m not your ex though. I already know about your illness and it doesn’t scare me. His loss is my gain.”

She gave each fingertip a kiss.

“Do you feel we are unequal?” Emma asked gently, still pressing light kisses to her fingers.

Regina was melting at the attention Emma was giving her. That question however, made her pause. Using her free hand she typed, “ _To be honest I do.”_

“We need to find ways to be equal then. There are some things I can’t do and need help with and there are some things you need help with. We should try and be mindful of that. What do you think?”

Regina gave her a nod and a smile. _“I would like that a lot.”_ The tablet spoke for her.

“Good. That’s good." Emma put her hand down to stoke Regina's cheek. She became a little uneasy as she knew she had to open up to her.

“To be fair though, how can I ask you to let me help you, when I’ve hidden a lot about myself. I’m just as closed off.” Emma pulled her hand away to pick at her own nails as nerves overtook.

 _“You don’t have to tell me anything you are not ready for.”_ The automated voice told her.

_“I can see it is painful for you and once you are ready I will listen to anything you have to say. And you haven’t failed Henry by the way. He is such a strong, caring and remarkable boy. You have done a remarkable job in raising him.”_

Emma looked up behind her long lashes and smiled.

“Thank you. I will tell you everything I promise. But I failed him when I stayed with Ki...Killian.”

 _“I will be here to hold your hand as you do. I’m sure it wasn’t as easy as just being able to leave him. I don’t think less of you because you stayed in an abusive relationship.”_ Regina leant in and kissed her cheek.

“ _Ruby gave me a few home truths this morning..._ ”

“Was it done gently and tactfully?” Emma said with a roll of her eyes, glad the attention was off herself.

That caused Regina to laugh and nod.  
_“Not quite. But it was done with love and my best interests at heart.”_

Regina mirrored what Emma had done earlier and kissed her finger tips a few times before going back to her tablet to type.

“ _I’m going to get help... from a therapist. I don’t want to lose you Emma. If friends is all we can ever be that’s okay. But I want more. I want you and Henry in my life. But if that’s to happen I need to let you support me. But you mentioned earlier, I have the feeling of it being one sided. I want to be able to offer you the world. I need us to be equal but I also need to learn to let you help me without freaking out.”_

“I am getting help as well, from Dr Hopper. I think it’s a good idea for both of us. I want to be able to give you the world as well.”

Regina felt more relieved that she imagined she would be.

“ _Will you go on a date with me?_ ” The tablet spoke.

Emma gave her an emphatic nod, “I would love to go on a date with you.”

 

 

 

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to all the lovely comments :). And for the people who gave me their stories, thank you. I promise I will write back to all the comments soon. There is help out there and things to live for ♡♡♡♡ stay strong.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay so this chapter is heavy. Suicide mention heavy. It's a flashback scene and there is a smutty mention of RQ. It doesn't go on long for the ones who are not into RQ. But I'm into RQ so sue me :p.
> 
> There are plenty of helplines out there if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts right now. 
> 
> Love to you all.

 

**About a year and a half ago.**

Robin had left a couple of months earlier and Regina was a mess. Her depression and anxiety were crippling her as much as she felt her M.S was.

Regina felt this gut wrenching sadness and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing was giving her any sense of pleasure.

Her condition was only going to get worse not better. Robin leaving her wasn’t quite as painful as having to leave her job as Mayor, but it still stung.

His leaving was one more nail in her coffin, she believed. Who was going to love her now?

Regina had barely left the house since he had left. Motivation for anything quickly slipped through her fingers.

Ruby had come in the evenings to help Regina out with dinner and get ready for bed. It was mainly at the moment to encourage her to eat as she had started to lose weight.

She had no appetite or interest to eat. Regina thought the process of even chewing the food was too much effort. To help with this, Ruby and Kat would make nutritious soups and give her build up milkshakes. Regina would only have a little though.

The mental pain was too much for Regina and over the last week she had been hiding some of her painkillers inside a hidden compartment in her jewellery box.

Regina knew she couldn’t continue on anymore. She had nothing to live for. No future, no hope. She had no partner and believed she would never be able to have children. Regina certainly didn’t want to pass on her condition.

So what was the point?

What was the point in putting her family and friends through any more pain. Yeah it would be hard for them to begin with but they would finally be free of the burden, she convinced herself.

Regina had set herself the day. The medication came weekly and it would arrive that morning.

Regina couldn’t exist a day longer. She was pretty sure she had enough medication stored up along with her fresh batch that was in the bathroom. There was a large bottle of an old and extremely expensive scotch that was in the drinks cabinet. It had been a college graduation gift from her parents after completing her masters. It would be the last thing she would enjoy.

The weird thing was that she finally felt some peace and relief. This would be her last day and she was okay with that.

She had sorted her affairs out with her lawyers and everything would go to Ruby and Kathryn once she was gone.

On this Thursday, Kathryn had come in the morning and lunch time to assist her with getting ready then lunch. Regina reminisced with her oldest friend and managed to enjoy a meal with her. She said her goodbyes with a lingering hug, Kathryn having no idea what was to come.

Regina had asked Ruby to make them pancakes and as this was the first time Regina had initiated eating she jumped at the chance.

The pair ate their pancakes and the kitchen was filled with laughter as they reminisced also about good times, growing up.

Ruby opened a bottle of red wine at Regina’s request and they retired to the living room. They barely noticed finishing the bottle as they were too busy talking.

“Well you certainly seem in a better mood, Gina.” Ruby pointed out feeling relieved, she had seen Regina become lower and lower.

“I am. My mood has started to lift.” Regina was not going to tell her why though.

“Well I’m really fucking happy to see it.” Ruby beamed at her, then kissed her cheek.

Regina put her glass down so she could cup Ruby's face with both her hands.

“Thank you, Red. For everything you have done for me.” She said sincerely, her eyes looking deep into Ruby's.

“It’s nothing, Gina. You’ve done far more for me. This is what best friends do.” Ruby played down and wrapped her arm around Regina’s waist.

“Everything you and Kat have done for me has been appreciated, even if I haven’t said or showed it.”

Her thumbs ran softly over Ruby’s cheeks. “I love you, Red.” Regina wanted one last time with Ruby.

Lips were gently pressed against her forehead before they caressed Ruby's lips. Ruby kissed her back and let out a soft moan at the nip to her bottom lip.

“Gina?” Ruby whispered against her lips, it had been a while since they had last done anything.

“Can we have this moment, just one last time?” Regina asked. “Neither of us are seeing anyone and we both know this is just fun for us. Nothing serious.”

Ruby needed a moment to think about it. In the end she knew Regina was right, it was just fun between the both of them. They were able to manage before so she didn’t see an issue with it.

They kissed again for a couple of minutes before Regina suggested going up to her bedroom.

...

The passionate pair were on Regina’s bed, with Regina on top. Regina moved her lips to attack her neck as she slip her hand under Ruby’s top. Clothes were then soon removed, with a little bit of difficulty.

Regina wanted to savour every moment of this encounter so she slowed things down.

Regina struggled a bit with the balance bit she managed to tie Ruby's wrists to the bed frame using a scarf that was in her bedside drawer. Her eyes were also covered with another scarf.

Regina took an agonisingly long time with kissing every inch of Ruby. She was pushing through the fatigue and the pain as she wanted to leave a perfect memory for Ruby.

Regina took pleasure in pushing Ruby over the edge again and again until Ruby could not take a second more. She was untied and Ruby pounced on her, their lips crashing together in desperate need.

...

An hour later they wet both panting hard, on their backs with smiles on their faces. It was more of a bittersweet one for Regina. She didn’t want to hurt her best friend but she knew in he long run it would be for the best. They would all be better off without her.

“Wow babe....fuck didn’t realise how much I needed to get laid.” Ruby said with a grin.

“I know what you mean. That was amazing.” Regina told her.

Ruby rolled over half onto Regina, “I do need to go unfortunately. I promised Granny I would do the inventory for the Diner tonight as I didn’t get chance to today.”

“That’s fine, Red. Thank you for tonight. It was....perfect.” She had a lump in her throat but she pushed all that emotion down.

This was going to be the last time she would ever see Ruby and it hurt. But it’s for the best, she remained herself.

Ruby didn’t make a big deal out of seeing Regina become slightly emotional, she assumed it was because she hadn’t been intimate with someone for quite some time.

Ruby gave her a last kiss after getting dressed and helping Regina into her pyjamas.

“I’ll see you tomorrow babe. Sleep well.”

....

Once Ruby had left, Regina got out of bed and into her chair. She put her playlist of her favourite Spanish acoustic artists she grew up listening to with her father, on.

A sense of calmness washed over her as she organised the envelopes on her dressing table. They held letters to her loved ones, her will and all paperwork that would be needed. She would have loved to have been able to say goodbye to her parents but she knew her mother would sense what was wrong. Everything that she had wanted to say was on those letters.

The scotch was poured into a large tumbler by the side of her bed and tablets were placed on the bed in front of her.

With each tablet she took she felt more and more relief knowing that the misery was going to end soon. After taking nearly all the painkillers she had available she downed a full glass then refilled it.

Regina leant back against the cushions that were propping her up and closed her eyes while sipping the scotch. Regina felt the warmth spreading through her body and knew unconsciousness would be soon.

....

**Present day**

_“....I remember briefly feeling like I had been slapped awake and I had no idea where I was or what was happening. But the next thing I remember is waking up in hospital, with a mask on, in agony and having withdrawal symptoms. I ended up being sectioned once I was conscious and told them I would try again because I needed to die.  Ruby had come back to the room as she had forgot her phone.  She found me unconscious and rang an ambulance.  The paramedics gave me naloxene to reverse the effects of the opiates.  They gave an IV of it in the hospital as well._ _”_

Regina pulled the tablet to her chest as it finished speaking for her. She made herself as small as possible in the chair and couldn't stand to look her therapist in the eye.  The therapist and Regina were sat in the spare office on the downstairs floor of her house. 

“It sounds like it was a very traumatic time for you, Regina. And I’m sorry you felt that low that the only option you felt was taking your life.” Marissa’s voice was gentle and had a slight Spanish twinge to her American accent.

Regina gave a shrug, still unable to look at her. Discussing this was getting her upset.

  
“Have you hard thoughts of hurting yourself recently?”

Regina shook her head. “ _I haven’t. I want to live. It’s hard but there are people in my life that I want to live for.”_

“You want to live for other people? Does that mean if you did not have those people there, you wouldn’t want to be alive because you personally wanted it? Do you not have dreams of your own personal achievements?” Marissa tilted her head as she asked that.

  
Regina was stumped by that question. She had not considered that aspect before.

  
_“To be honest, I don’t know.”_

“That’s okay not to know. You revealed a lot to me today and thank you for that. I can imagine it must be scary opening up about a traumatic event.”

Regina gave her a nod, it was terrifying.

“I think we should wrap this session up. Tell me about these people that are special to you.”  Marissa gave her a smile, wanting to start grounding the woman in front of her.

Regina brightened up as she started to write about Henry and Emma.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much to everyone. From the regular reviewers to the ones who just read this. It genuinely means the world to me especially through this particularly hard time at the moment. Thank you.

 

Regina’s mother had hired the best therapist she could get hold of. She started looking the second Regina asked for help.

Marissa Torres had published papers about mutism in adults and Cora knew she had to have her for her daughter.

It took some negotiating (which was her forte) but she was able to snag the woman and get her to travel to Storybrooke.

After her first hour session, Regina spent the rest of the day alone. She needed to process everything. That was the first time she had talked about that day in detail.

Kathryn and Ruby gave Regina that space and didn’t push. They had no idea if Regina even did anything in therapy, other than she lasted the whole hour so they had to take that as a good sign.

The day after, Regina woke up feeling lighter. She felt as though a weight had been lifted after finally admitting what had happened. She hadn't realised just how much she needed to talk to a professional.

Regina had already let Noodle out to do his business and was eating an apple when Kat walked into the kitchen.

“You’re up early.” Kat commented with a surprised smile. She walked up to her and gave her cheek a kiss. Regina wrapped her arms around Kathryn.

They hadn’t spoke about the attempt, well Regina refused to. She needed to finally have that conversation though. Regina had to apologise to her oldest friend.

 **“I feel lighter today so I got up and thought I would start the day."**  The tablet spoke as Regina gave her a smile. Kat paused and looked at Regina carefully, her stomach dropped.

In a panic, Kat left the room and went upstairs. Regina was left in the kitchen, completely confused by the reaction.

She went up in the lift and could hear a commotion coming from her room. Regina found Kat frantically emptying her drawers.

 **“What on earth are you doing?** ” The tablet spoke.

“Where are they? Have you been tonguing your meds?” Kat asked, with tears streaming down her face. Regina’s reaction had made her go back to the day of the suicide attempt. Her sensitivity was also increased since she had read that people can often feel worse before they get better during therapy.

Kathryn had a horrible feeling that Regina’s brightness was because she was going to attempt suicide again.

Regina sat there shocked at Kathryn’s question and shook her head.

“Regina, tell me now. Where have you put them? Or have you got something else?” Kathryn demanded and kept searching her room.

She tried to wheel herself over to Kathryn but the debris on the floor was blocking her path.

She couldn't will her throat to scream at Kathryn to stop. That frustrated her so much. Instead she slapped her hand on the desk.

* _ **bang**_ *

Kathryn stopped at the sudden noise and looked over at Regina. Regina ushered her over to her and Kat sat on he bed next to where Regina was.

Regina took her tablet from the side and typed, “ **What’s going on? I haven’t got any tablets nor anything else. Why would you think that?”**

Regina gave her a confused and concerned look as she went to hold Kathryn’s hand.

“It’s....you...” Kathryn wiped the tears off her face with her free hand and gripped tightly to Regina with the other.

“You looked, I don’t know....relieved, happy. It reminded me of that day. God, Gina... That night Ruby rang me in hysterics saying she found you... It was the worst day of my life.” Kat let out a choked sob and covered her mouth with her hand.

Regina wrapped her arms around Kat as she cried. She made some soothing sounds while stroking her back.

Kat gripped on tight to Regina, not wanting to ever let her go. “I thought you had turned a corner. That you had dealt with Robin leaving and that you were accepting your condition. But fuck Gina, I was so so wrong.”

The day Kat was talking about, Regina genuinely believed they would be better off without her in their lives. But now, even a year and a half later, Kat was still affected by the failed attempt.

How would she have been if she had succeeded? Regina thought to herself.

They held each other until Kat's back couldn’t take any longer. Regina picked up the tablet and typed furiously.

**“I am so sorry Kat. I promise you I’m not going to attempt anything. I spoke to the therapist about that day... and to be honest it feels like a weight has been lifted off. I’ve never seen the point in talking about it before, but it helped a bit.**

**I wasn’t to keep today light but I will speak to you and Ruby about that day. I do want to apologise though. I know it’s just words but I really thought you all would be happier.”**

Kat listened to her message and shook her head as it finished, “Further from the truth Gina. It nearly destroyed us both. Red, was a mess. I do want to talk about it though, I’m glad you are willing to. I definitely think you should speak to Red about it.”

Regina had to push down her self loathing and focus on what she has to do to make it better. With a nod she typed on her tablet again.

**“I’m going to ask Emma round tonight for a date. She’s already told me Henry is at another sleepover tonight.”**

“He’s a popular boy.” Kat remarked fondly while wiping at her wet eyes.

**“I do love you Kat.”**

“I love you, too.”

The pair hugged again and Kat tidied the room back up.

“What are you doing for your date then?

 **“Indoor picnic**.” Regina typed out with a smile. “ **I have most things but I need you to go out and get food I’ve ordered from the deli and help me with well everything.”**

“Ooooo I’m excited to see what you have planned. I’m sure she is going to love it.” Kat cooed while finishing the tidying. “Just tell me what I need to do and I will make it perfect for you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must sound like a broken record but thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read this and to those who comment as well. You are all the friggin best ♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Sorry for the delay. Not been in a great place and also had two bereavements in the space of a week. Not close to them but they were great people and far too young to have been taken by cancer. 
> 
> Hug your loved ones as much as possible and tell them how much they mean to you, because you really don't know what is around that corner. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little chapter. Please tell me what you think. I need a bit of a push (and is needy as fuck, I'm not gonna lie lol)

  
Emma was told via text that she was to dress comfortable for the date. She wanted to impress Regina though and to be honest, have her drooling.

Black skin tight jeans and a red scoop neck shiny top that showed a dangerous amount of cleavage, was finally decided on. Emma put some makeup on and gave herself Smokey eyes and red lipstick. After checking herself out in the mirror, she gave a nod and knew she looked pretty good. But as soon as she thought that, Killian's voice in her head popped up, telling her she was fat and ugly and no one would ever love her. That he was the only one who could ever put up with her.

Emma shook those thoughts away, telling herself he was the problem not her, like they had discussed in therapy. He was saying those things to try and manipulate and control her.

After a couple of minutes repeating that mantra and doing a breathing exercise, she felt more comfortable again.

Standing in front of the wall length mirror she took a photo of herself to Ruby, wanting to know what she thought.

“ **What do you think?”**

_**“Hot as fuck. Sure you don’t want to try a threesome, because damn girl, you look smoking.”** _

Emma let out a laugh at her text and shook her head.

**“I’m a monogamous kinda gal, sorry. You can look all you want though ;) :*”**

“ _ **Haha thanks for the permission. I’ve only just realised you can see your face in that photo..”**_

**“:p Such a perve Red. Do you think Regina will like it?”**

_**“Are you kidding me?? You’re going to knock the speech back into her with that outfit :p. Honestly though, you always look great and you’re going to take Regina’s breath away once again and not just with your looks**_.”

Ruby’s positive words were what Emma needed to keep her confidence up for the evening.

“ **Thank you, Red, I need that. This is just for you.”**

She sent her a playful boomerang of her blowing a kiss.

“ _ ***Faints* Anytime, my friend. Ring me if you and Gina need anything okay? Love you :* I’ve left some dental dams in her bedside drawer. ;) enjoy ”**_

“ **Fuck off :p....Love you too :*”**

....

Emma checked her make up in the rear view mirror of her bug. Once she was happy nothing was smudged, she took a few calming deep breaths and got out of the car.

The closer she got to the front door, bag in hand, the more erratic the butterflies in her stomach became. She had no idea why she was so nervous. Emma had known Regina for months now and even had undertaken some particularly heavy petting.

It was a good mix of excited nerves though as well, which Emma decided to focus on. They were both clear they wanted this. Both were working hard to improve themselves so they could enjoy whatever develops between them.

Kathryn's car was not on the drive indicating that Kat had already gone. Emma took that as a good sign.

Emma adjusted her top and made sure her cleavage was nicely on show. She had more than once noticed Regina checking her chest out so she wanted to tease her.

After swallowing the last bit of mint in her mouth, Emma pressed the doorbell.

The door opened after a short wait to reveal Regina. She was sporting black slacks and a crisp white shirt There was a straining button where the shirt was open up too. It seemed obvious to Emma that Regina had had the same idea as her.

“Regina, hi.” Emma created with a megawatt smile and leant into to kiss her cheek. “You look beautiful.”

Regina’s cheeks went slightly pink at the compliment, but then they went much darker at the eye full she had when Emma bent over. Not knowing where to look, she gazed to her lap.

She had to stop herself from typing that they should forget the food and go straight up to bed. Taking the phone from her lap she typed, “ _You look breathtaking, Emma. Red really is your colour.”_

Regina kept trying to make eye contact with her but her dark eyes did flick down to her chest more than once.

Seeing Regina’s reaction definitely made her feel that she made the right choice with her outfit.

“Thank you. Red is my favourite colour to wear.” Emma told her then gave her the present bag

Regina smiled, took the bag and put it on her lap. She signalled with her head for Emma to follow her. After leading her to the living room she paused in front on the closed door. Regina gave Emma a nervous smile and gestured for her to open the door and go in.

Emma pushed both doors open and stood in shock at the scene in front of her. The main lights were off but there were white fairy lights all over the walls. Playing from the speakers, was light ambience sounds of the great outdoors. The furniture was pushed back towards the wall so a small table could be placed in the middle. A gingham table cloth adorned the table and a feast of finger foods were already laid out. Lots of the larger potted plants were placed around the area of their set up to make it look as outdoorsy as possible. Stars were also projected onto the ceiling.

“Regina....wow...” Emma gasped as she tried to take the whole scene in while taking steps forward.

“This....It’s...damn I can’t think of any words to describe how amazing this is. I can’t believe you did all this for me.” Once she had finished observing the room, Emma spun around to Regina.

“No one has ever done anything like this for me before.” Her voice started to crack near the end as the overwhelming emotion, caused by the gesture, caught up to her.

Emma dabbed at her eyes not wanting her make up to smudge. “It is beautiful Regina.” Emma took the few steps needed to be able to cup Regina’s face. Emma planted her lips against hers in a simple but intense kiss. Their lips barely moved but it still caused Regina’s toes to curl.

Emma stopped the kiss yet kept their faces close to each other. “You are incredibly thoughtful.”

Regina licked her lips once Emma had broken the kiss. She smiled up at Emma and pecked her lips again before taking her phone out of her lap again.

“ _Henry told me a while ago that you had always wanted to go camping. I used to love the outdoors as well. So this is the nearest I can get at the moment for you.”_

“This is perfect. It also means no icky bugs and an actual toilet.” Emma teased while standing back up straight.

“ _Well I am relieved you like it. I wasn’t sure how you would react.”_

“Honestly Regina, it’s great. But all I wanted is to spend some quality time with you. We could spend the evening just doing a crossword. As long as we are together then it would be perfect.”

“ _Such a charmer, Miss Swan.”_

Emma gave her a wink and took her black cardigan off, showing off her toned arms.

Regina’s breath hitched as she blatantly ogled Emma. The fact Regina was eye level with Emma’s chest was making everything more difficult.

Emma caught her looking again and she felt incredibly good about that. The shirt worked exactly how she had wanted it to.

Regina looked up and realised she was caught, by the suggestive smirk Emma was giving her. Emma’s eyes flicked down towards Regina’s chest also. Regina gulped and looked away but her own grin was forming at the attention.

 _“Let’s sit at the table shall we and I can see what you have bought me. You didn’t need to buy me anything you know. You’ve already been so generous with your gifts_.” The phone spoke as she pushed her way to the table.

“I like treating you. I love seeing that smile, totally brightens my day.” Emma gave Regina a sincere smile as she sat down opposite her and took her hand.

“ _Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss Swan._ ” Regina laughed as she made her message read out.

“Well here’s hoping so.” Emma teased back before lifting her hand to kiss the back of her hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your words have been so kind ♡ thank you.
> 
> I managed to push another chapter out. Thank you all again for taking the time to read this. You're all amazing. 
> 
> Please as well give constructive feedback. I know I need to go back again and finish off going over the typos. 
> 
> I want to get better at my writing :)

 

Regina carefully untied the ribbon that was holding the large gift bag together. It was holding two items. She picked up the smaller one and it was a packet of very expensive imported coffee beans. Regina gave her a look of ‘you really shouldn’t have spent that much money’.

Emma however smiled and shrugged, “I know you like your coffee and I heard you’re a bit of a coffee snob..”

Regina snorted at the very true accusation. _“That is very true. I have not tried this particular brand before so I can’t wait, thank you.”_

  
“No problem at all. Now open your second one. This is from Henry but he actually felt a little shy in giving it to you.”

_“Why would he feel shy?”_

“Well I don’t want to give it away so open it up first okay?”

Regina took out what she assumed to be a wrapped up frame that was about A4 size. Taking her time, she unwrapped the present and revealed what was inside. It was a framed picture that Henry had done using his tablet and Photoshop software.

“He has been working really hard on it.” Emma explained, pride evident in her voice.

Regina took in every last piece of the picture. It was a detailed drawing of Henry, Regina, Noodle, Emma, Ruby, Kathryn, Cora and Granny. Henry was in the middle with Regina and Emma on either side, holding their hands. Noodle was placed in front of him and the others were surrounding. Underneath the drawing, it said, ‘I love my family.’

Regina couldn’t stop looking over it and she could really tell who each person was. She was in complete awe at not only the skill that he was displaying but at the sentiment of it.

 _“I don’t know what to say, Emma. This means so much to me. I’m ecstatic he feels this way about us...about me. I love him too and our family.”_ The phone spoke as Regina gave Emma a breath taking smile. “ _He is coming along so much with his art. You have to be so proud of your prodigy.”_

Emma puffed her chest up a little with pride of Regina’s opinion. “I’m extremely proud of him. He has worked so hard on this and he wasn’t completely happy with it. He said he wanted it perfect but I think it already is perfect.”

 _“It is absolutely perfect. Can you take the picture down that’s above the tv and put this one up, pride of place.”_ The phone said after Regina had a quick look around at where it could go.

Once the picture was up Emma sat back down at the table.

“ _Grab a plate and tuck in.”_

“Thanks, I’m drooling at the thought of all this.” Emma laughed and piled her plate high and immediately tucked in. Emma looked up and saw Regina eating with her knife and fork from a small amount of food. “Okay so now I feel a pig.”

Regina shook her head and gave her a warm smile. _“I like a woman with a good appetite. I’m a bit of a feeder so it’s all good. Please eat as much as you want, I just have a small appetite at the moment.”_

Emma beamed back at her and went back to eating all the delicious food. The meal was mainly silent but Emma purposely asked more yes or no questions so as Regina wouldn’t have to keep turning to her phone while she ate.  
....

After two large plates, Emma leant back with a groan. “Babe, that was so good. But I think I’m going to have to take my pants off I’m so full.”

_“I won’t try and stop you.”_

Emma let out a loud laugh and rubbed at her stomach. “I bet you wouldn’t. Plus seeing how often your eyes have wondered, you probably wouldn’t mind if I took my top off either.”

“ _Correct_.” Regina also laughed and her eyes flew up to her face as she was caught again.

 _“Like you didn't wear that top to try and get my attention_.”

“Guilty.” She put her hands up. “I think it worked incredibly well. But I believe you may have forgotten what my face looks like.”

 _“How could I ever forget something so exquisite_?”

“Keep talking like that and the shirt will soon be off.”

Regina laughed and gave her a salacious grin. If only Emma could read her mind right now.

...

The pair worked together in cleaning up the table and put everything in the dishwasher and the left overs in the fridge.

Under instruction of Regina, Emma ground the beans and made them coffee. They got themselves comfy on the couch and sipped at their drinks.

“Want to play twenty questions?” Emma asked and Regina rolled her eyes, and set her mug down on the little table that was in front of them.

 _“I forgot I was dating a teenager.”_ Regina typed which caused Emma to snort.

“Oh come on, it will be fun. I will give you a foot rub while we play.” Eyebrows wiggled at Regina.

Regina’s eyes lit up at that and she turned her body so she could put her feet in Emma’s lap.

“Wow, so I now know what to do when I want my own way.” Emma joked though Regina gave her a glare, telling her to not even think about trying it. Regina was not going to admit out loud that Emma’s foot rubs would make her do anything though. That the way Emma touched her, had Regina completely at her mercy.

That was not something she had ever experienced before, like she was almost submissive to Emma. Regina never bowed down to anyone, however Emma was different. Emma was not only physically but also emotionally strong. To Regina, the deputy Sherriff exuded confidence from the first time she met her.

But she had also bear witness to her vulnerability which to Regina showed just how strong she really was.

However her thoughts were going towards far more basic urges right now as strong hands worked her sore feet. Regina let out quiet groans as Emma worked her up well.

“You are all mine right now.” Emma teased and got herself comfy. “I’ll go first and I’ll start off easy. We both have to answer the question. What is your favourite drink?”

_“That’s a hard one. I would say in the past it was a good red wine. But now it is coffee. By the way, good choice on this coffee, it’s delicious.”_

“I’m glad you like it as I had to sell Henry to buy that bag.” She joked. “I love coffee too but my favourite guilty pleasure is a cold bottle of doctor pepper.”

Regina screwed her face up at the mention of that.

“Hey! It’s a quality underrated beverage.” Emma chuckled, working on the arch of her foot.

Regina just rolled her eyes and brought her phone up to write her question, “ _What is your favourite book?”_

“To be honest, I’ve not really read much other than comics.” Emma shrugged, looking down in shame. “But I loved studying about ‘Twelfth Night’ in my last year of school.”

Regina sat back up to squeeze her arm and text with her other hand. “ _Don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing wrong with that. Your interests lie elsewhere. In hands on activities it seems.”_ Her last words were disturbed by a moan as Emma worked on her toes.

Emma giggled, half because it was funny and half to hide just how turned on those moans were making her.

_“I did Twelfth Night in school as well. I liked Macbeth more though. I have too many favourite books to have just one. A lot of growing up was studying from text books, so I didn’t have a lot of time for fiction. If I wasn’t studying I was doing some art work/ riding my horse or being with Red and Kat.”_

“Sounds like you were a busy student.”

_“Non stop. Mother wouldn’t have it any other way. Even though we were in boarding school, mother was still incredibly strict. She had spies everywhere, I’m sure. She is different from how she is now, she’s definitely calmed down more.”_

“I do have to admit, she scared the crap out of me when I first saw her.” Emma grinned as she explained. “But I can see that she’s incredibly protective of you and loves you very much.”

Regina smiled as Emma said that. It wasn’t perfect but their relationship was a lot better than it was.

“Okay so my turn again.. Favourite band or artist.”

“ _That’s another really hard one. But I probably would say Etta James, I love her voice. I also love classical music and Spanish guitar. I think music is so powerful though, I love lots of different genres.”_

“Yeah, same with me. I can’t pin down just one genre. It really does depend on my mood. But I do like the foo fighters a lot.”

_“I’m not averse to some rock music. As long as they’re not screaming.” Her eyes rolled as the phone spoke._

Emma giggled, “Some of it can be good.”

Regina did not look convinced. Her face soon changed as Emma worked in just the right spot and she moaned again. Regina lay back against the arm of the couch and melted into the cushions.

“You are making not jumping you, so damn hard when you moan like that.” Emma said with a groan and started to work on her other foot.

“ _Distracting you, dear?_ ” Regina smirked as she stared at her.

“Yes! Far too much. You really love to torture don’t you?” Emma let out a pretend growl.

_“Oh you have no idea how much I love to torture..”_

The look Regina gave Emma as she heard that, caused her sex to throb. Emma tried to wriggle discreetly in her seat to ease the ache. That look along with the moans were making her ache.

“I er...Can imagine you really love to.” Her own pupils had dilated from the arousal she was feeling and wondered to herself if continuing this was a good plan.

“Damn...” She whispered once she felt Regina’s free foot, run along the inside of her thigh. Unfortunately or fortunately, Emma wasn’t sure, her foot was more toward her knee than her aching core. “...You’re a sadist.” Emma joked.

_“That’s something for you to find out if that is true or not, in the future.”_

“I can’t wait.” Emma blurted out before she could stop herself.

Part of Regina was shocked that she was able to have this affect on Emma. Another part of her felt like her old self again and it gave her a great boost of confidence.

With slight reluctance, because it was feeling so good, Regina pulled her foot away. It took a bit of manoeuvring, which Emma was entirely patient with, but Regina was finally able to straddle her lap.

Emma put her hands on hips to steady Regina and whispered while looking up at her, “Beautiful.”

Regina gave her a grin and ran fingers through blonde tresses as she held onto her shoulder for support. Gentle strokes turned to nails grazing over her scalp, all the while the pair didn’t lose eye contact.

Emma daren't move her hands as she wasn’t sure how much Regina wanted. The last thing she wanted was to freak her out. The grazes turned to a hair pull and her neck was on show.

Regina bent forward and ran her nose along her neck. Her warm breath tickled Emma’s sensitive area as lips barely brushed the flesh. Regina did the same to her ear, knowing how sensitive that spot is for Emma. She didn’t quite kiss or bite, but just teased with her touches.

Emma was a squirming mess underneath her and ended up wrapping her arms tight around Regina. She hadn't realised she was slightly rocking as Regina tortured her.

The hold loosened as Regina pulled back to give a filthy smirk, predatory teeth sparkled at Emma.

“I was right....sadist. You’re loving to see me a mess like this don’t you.”

Regina kept grinning and gave a clear nod. It was starting to make her feel powerful again. This was something she didn’t need help with.

Emma’s pupils were blown and her lips parted. Her eyes flicked down to the button between her breasts that was threatening to ping off. A stretch of caramel flesh was on display but she wondered what it would be like to rip the shirt open. Then to kiss and nip all over that soft, heaving chest.

Emma had unconsciously started to rock her hips harder as she became distracted with her fantasies.

Getting caught up in the moment and after watching Emma, Regina unhooked the button that was threatening to burst on her shirt.

Emma let out a quiet gasp as the white bra was revealed far more. All moisture in her body had seemed to travel to straight between her legs. “Woah..” Her voice cracked like she was some pre pubescent boy.

 _“You can touch. I won’t break.”_ The automated voice said and Emma’s eyes shot up.

“Really?”

Regina nodded and with a tug of her hair she directed Emma’s face to her chest.

Emma wasted no time in kissing over soft breasts that were pushed together by a lace bra. Her hands roamed her back as she took her sweet time exploring the delicious skin with her mouth. The skin, the touches, the moans were lighting her insides on fire. Emma had never felt this turned on in her life and was close to picking Regina up and taking her to bed.

She was so distracted by the presents in front of her that she hadn’t realised until just now that Regina was trying to finish unbuttoning her shirt. Emma pulled her mouth away once she became aware and looked up at Regina. Emma was looking at Regina as if she was the moon and stars. “Can I help?”

Regina felt a pang of anxiety but she pushed it down seeing how aroused Emma was. It wasn’t about being unequal or being a carer. The request was about attraction and Emma wanted to see more of her. Regina paused a few seconds before smiling and gave a nod.

Emma gave her a dazzling smile before keeping eye contact as she slowly unbuttoned her. Fingers made sure to graze skin as she did so.

Regina was able to balance enough while Emma pushed the white shirt over her shoulders and down her arms. She threw it to the side and Emma sat there in awe.

“I’ve never seen anyone as stunning as you are.” Emma told her sincerely.

Regina found that hard to believe but didn’t want to focus on that. Instead she gave Emma another mischievous grin and brought both of Emma’s strong hands to her own breasts.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always so flattered and touched by your comments ♡♡♡ thank you.
> 
> Little filler and fluff for you all. Hope you enjoy

 

After a few minutes of Emma touching and kissing her breasts, Regina let out a pained groan as she got off of Emma’s lap.

Emma looked at her in concern, her eyes dark from the deep arousal she was also feeling.

“Did I do something wrong?” Emma asked and turned her body to look at her.

Regina shook her head and rubbed at her knees.

“Ah I’m guessing that position was a painful one after a while?”

Regina nodded and gave her an apologetic smile.

“How about we get you in a more comfortable position? I prefer to be on top anyway.” Emma smirked as she started to kiss Regina’s neck this time. She couldn’t get enough of Regina.

Regina snorted as she shook her head, but let Emma keep kissing her. Her body relaxed back into the couch. She grabbed her phone so she could text.

_“I am always on top, Miss Swan.”_

“We will see about that, darling.” Emma gave a firm suck on her pulse point that reduced Regina to jelly.

...

The pair kept sat up as they kissed and Emma took her time feeling Regina up. However, Regina couldn’t keep it in any longer and she pulled away to yawn.

Emma gave her an understanding smile, she wasn’t ready to go any further anyway. She sent Ruby a quick text saying that she would be going soon and that Regina was tired.

Emma retrieved Regina’s shirt and held it in front of her, ready to help her back into it as if it was a coat.

Regina froze at first and immediately wanted to go on the defensive. Once she looked up to see Emma’s kind eyes she knew she couldn’t nor wanted to lash out. Emma helped her out of it, she should let her help to get back in it.

Regina gave a small nodded and put her arm through the hole and let Emma help her.

“It is such a damn shame to see them covered back up.” Emma watched as Regina buttoned her shirt back up half way.

With a roll of her eyes, Regina finished the last button, keeping the top few open again. Her smile grew as Emma did not make a big deal out of helping her and of course the compliment.

_“Well I can’t let you have too much at once.”_

“I think you’re going to be the death of me you know. But what a way to go.” She said with a dramatic flair causing the brunette to giggle.

...

Ruby and Noodle arrived at the mansion not long after Emma had left. She let herself in and Noodle ran, full blast into the house to find his owner.

He found her in the kitchen holding a glass of water and with the biggest smile on her face.

“Well damn, isn’t that I just got laid face.” Ruby commented, grinning like mad. Regina rolled her eyes but her smile didn’t drop. She was feeling on top of the world after that successful date.

She stroked Noodle and kissed his head before typing, _“No I did not get laid. But I had a perfect date.”_

“And received the perfect hickey as well. Damn girl, Emma’s a biter.” Ruby teased as she pushed her collar a bit more to the side to see the dark mark on her pulse point.

Regina slapped her hand away and let out a giggle.

...

The next month resulted in Emma being snowed under by paper work, as an end of year audit was coming up. She had less time to spend with Regina as she was working a lot of overtime.

Regina completely understood since she knew how hectic it was at the mayor’s office especially at that time of year. To try and ease Emma’s stress, she looked after Henry more. He even stayed a full weekend as Emma had to work overtime.

Regina nor Henry complained as they had a great time together along with Ruby.

Emma stayed overnight at the station on that Friday, as she hadn’t realised just how much of a mess the filing system was. Also how out of date the health and safety records were.

She eventually came back to Regina’s house on the Saturday night and collapsed, face first into the couch. Her two bags full of files were dropped next to her.

Henry ran up to her and lay on top of her back. “You’re back home!”

Emma let out a ‘umff’ as she was jumped on but sighed happily at the hug. She stopped her face from going into an even bigger smile at the fact Henry called Regina’s house home.

“I am and I’m so happy to see you, kid.” She took his hand to give it a kiss.

“I’ve missed you, Ma. But we’ve had a great weekend though so don’t worry. We both know you have a super important job.”

“You’re the best kid a mum could ask for you know?” Emma said seriously as she shuffled around on her back and held him tight. She kissed his mop of brown hair, that needed a cut.

“Oh I know.” Henry sassed back, playfully.

“Oh I think you have been hanging out with Ruby too much, Mr Sassy Pants.”

He squealed as she tickled his sides and begged her to stop. She stopped after a few more seconds and held him close again.

“I could never spend too much time with auntie Red. She’s so cool and tells me all the best jokes.” He explained to his mum.

Regina and Ruby were giving Emma space once Henry had leapt on her. Hearing Ruby be called that, melted both their hearts.

Regina looked up at Ruby who mouthed the word auntie with the biggest smile she had seen on her for a while.

Regina matched her smile before looking back at the scene in the room. She couldn’t wait any longer and pushed herself to the couch.

“Well hello.” Emma gave her a tired grin. Regina gave her a little wave and kissed her forehead. They had yet to talk to Henry about their relationship so left it at the forehead kiss.

They hadn’t set a time on telling him yet. Emma had been so busy at work since their date that they hadn’t had much time to be together to discuss it.

“ _Once you are ready, Emma, go have a bath. You’ve worked non stop and you need to relax.”_

“That actually sounds like heaven right now.” Emma groaned in appreciation.

“ _Good. I will go make a start on the bath then. Take your time.”_

Regina gave her forehead another kiss and made her way upstairs to draw Emma a bath.

...

Emma eventually came up and walked into the large master bathroom that was in Regina's bedroom. The lights were on dim and lots of fake candles were lit around the bathroom. The bath was filled to the brim with bubbles and steaming hot.

“ _Put your choice of oil in the electric diffuser. It’s on the side over there. I’ve put Lavender and Neroli in the bath to help you relax. I’ve left out underwear and pyjamas for you. There is homemade pizza waiting just for you, once you have finished. But I can bring it up of you want. There are also a couple of bottles of your disgusting Dr Pepper in the fridge_.” The phone barely finished Regina’s speech before Emma gave her the most toe curling kiss.

Momentarily frozen, Regina had no idea how to function. It wasn’t until she felt the tongue stroke her bottom lip, that she knew how to kiss again.

Emma gripped Regina’s thick, dark hair as their tongues danced along each other. Regina had to eventually pull away due to lack of breath.

Emma cupped her cheeks and left a loving kiss on her forehead. “You are one very thoughtful lady. And I would love a drink and a slice. I’ll go down and get it.” Emma was so incredibly touched by the woman in front of her. She had not only looked after her kid, she had got her favourite food and drink, prepared a beautiful bath and was treating her so kindly. She knew she was falling hard but past experiences and doubts had to put pause to those feelings for now.

Regina shook her head, “ _No, you get in and I’ll get everything for you. Is there anything else you need?”_

“Only thing to make this perfect were if you were to join me.” Emma's smile turned mischievous as Regina giggled and shook her head.

_“I don’t think any relaxing would be done if we were both in there.”_

“Oh the end result would be highly relaxing.” Emma teased and pecked her lips before going to the cabinet and picking an oil for the diffuser.

Regina was left a puddle by Emma yet again. She chuckled to herself and shook those naughty thoughts out of her head.

_“Get in and I’ll bring you, your supper. If you’re feeling super lazy, you can use my bath lift to lower yourself in.”_

Emma laughed and told her she thought it was a good idea.

...

Regina came back up with a couple of slices of pizza and her bottle of Dr Pepper. She knocked on the door, not wanting to barge in.

“Come in.”

After opening the door she pushed herself in and her jaw dropped a little at the sight. Emma was in the bath, her body conveniently covered in bubbles. Her hair was soaked and she looked heavenly to Regina.

“Mmmm that pizza smells so good. Gimme gimmie.” Emma said as she opened her eyes. A low whirring could be heard, indicating the jacuzzi jets were on.

Regina caught herself staring and made her way over to Emma.

“Babe, this is amazing.” She sat up a tiny bit more, but her chest was still covered with bubbles.

Regina's eyes took a sneaky look before giving Emma a hand towel to dry her hands. Once that was done, she gave her a plate.

Emma took it and bit into the first slice. “This is so good. I seriously don't know what I did to deserve you.”

 _“By just being you.”_ Regina simply responded. A shy smile crept up in Emma’s face.

“Thank you.” Emma didn’t know what else to say. It had to have been one of the kindest thing by someone other than her son had ever said to her.

“ _Just telling you the truth. Now I will give you some privacy to enjoy your bath.”_ Regina put the bottle on the corner of the bath and went to leave. However, she was prevented by a hand to her wrist.

“Stay, please?” Emma asked, not wanting her to leave.

Regina could see in her face that Emma genuinely wanted her to stay. With a nod she parked herself near her head and applied the brakes. They shared a sweet kiss and Emma went back to eating her pizza while Regina told her about her two days with Henry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much!! And to the guest reviewers- I do usually reply to the comments (Not always on time but I do eventually get round to doing it - most of the time)
> 
> You all always give me such a boost to write this.
> 
> Another fluff piece right now, continuing where we left off...

 

 _“How is it going with Dr Hopper?”_ Regina asked after Emma had finished her pizza.

“I’ve had to miss two sessions but he’s good in that I’ve been able to ring him a couple of times just to touch base while I don’t have the time to get there. It’s early days yet though, but I do feel comfortable enough with him.”

_“I’m happy that you’ve got him to offload to. He is a good man.”_

Emma nodded and lay back down against the bath cushion to relax and see her better.

“He is and what about you? How is Marissa?”

 _“I like her. But then again she hasn’t pushed too much yet so her likability may go down dramatically when that happens.”_ Regina half joked. She was warned that it was going to be painful at times and that she will push beyond what is comfortable. But it was all part of the journey.  Her eyes rolled as the message played.

Emma snorted at that, “I know I haven’t known you for that long but I can’t imagine anyone could get away with trying to get you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

A smug smile grew on Regina’s face as she nodded, “ _The last person who tried, left feeling rather castrated at the end of that conversation.”_

Emma laughed hard and ended up splashing Regina with water as she slapped it with her hand.

  
Regina jumped at the rather substantial amount of water that hit her.

Emma’s eyes widened in shock as she realised what she had done. Especially since Regina was sat there slack jawed, looking down at her soaked tee shirt.

Before Emma could apologise she was hit by a wave of bath water. Emma sputtered and wiped the water away from her eyes as she heard a laughing Regina.

“This means war.” Emma declared as she splashed her again. The pair were in near hysterical laughter as they had an all out splash battle.

Regina tired quickly and put her hand up in surrender.

“Yes, I am the champion!” Emma declared, sitting up and putting her hands in the air. Her nakedness completely forgotten.

Regina's eyes nearly bulged out of her head as she saw the wet, naked breasts in front of her. A lot of the water was either on the floor or on Regina now. That meant the water level came to just under her breasts. But as soon as she saw them she looked up and away to protect Emma’s modesty.

Emma thought Regina's reaction was adorable. She looked down at herself and saw just how on show she was. She didn’t want to completely show her body to Regina yet. She was embarrassed by the multiple scars on her stomach and thighs. Especially the large one she had done when Ruby had found her. However that was the last time she had hurt herself and felt proud about that.

In the position she was in, only her breasts were on show and she was fine with that. “You can look you know...they are yours to do with as you wish.” Emma lowered her voice a touch, to give it a seductive tone.

Regina gulped and she slowly lowered her face to look at Emma in the eye before taking a quick look at Emma's bare form.

She squirmed in her seat as arousal surged through her. Emma was looking like a water goddess right now and it was making Regina's heart race.

She stumbled for her phone on the cabinet near her, she could barely tear her eyes away to text.

_“You are so beautiful, Emma. Every time I see you take my breath away.”_

“I feel the same way, baby. But I am stoked I make you feel that way. Even though it’s hard to believe.”

Regina cupped her cheek in her hand and wished she could speak as their eyes met. She needed to tell her in that moment just how special the blonde was. How much she cared for her. How miraculous Emma was.

Regina opened her mouth to try but instead of water, a wave of anxiety hit her. She started to feel a roll of nausea and the panic start to rise in her chest.

 _I was about to talk. What the hell? I would have sounded ridiculous and she would have laughed at me. Oh god I feel sick_.

Her anxious thoughts over took her common sense and she began to panic.

Emma was shocked to say the least as she saw soft red lips part as if to speak. But then she immediately saw the panic that followed.

“Regina. Listen to me. Breathe with me.” Emma said simply as she took hold of her hand and place it just under her neck. This was the way she knew would help again.

Regina struggled to follow Emma’s lead. But Emma was patient and kept demonstrating how to breath and giving her very simple instructions.

Regina soon came out of the panic and Emma lifted her hand to kiss over her knuckles. “Feeling better now, beautiful?”

Regina gave a slight nod and let Emma keep kissing her hand.

“Great. Well how about you scrub my back and then I’ll wash my hair and get out?”

Regina nodded and gave her a grateful smile that it wasn’t made a big deal out of. She took a flannel and poured out a portion of her favourite body wash on to it. The gentle motions and being able to do something to help Emma made her feel calmer and useful. She took her time and enjoyed every moment.

Picking up the shampoo she showed it to Emma then pointed to herself.

“Do you want to wash my hair?” She asked not completely understanding what Regina wanted. She was correct in her guess once she saw Regina’s smile.

“I’m definitely not going to say no to that, babe.” She chuckled and awkwardly turned herself around so her back was facing her.

Regina quickly got to work on lathering her hair and giving her a short head massage to go with it.

“Fuck, please wash my hair every day. I promise to massage your feet multiple times a day if you do.” She begged causing Regina to giggle. Once she was done, she gave her shoulders a squeeze and pulled away.

Emma turned around to give her a gigantic pout and puppy dog eyes. “No fair, I wanted that for longer.”

Regina grinned bit gave her a little shake of her head. She leant forward to kiss her and Emma deepened it immediately.

“Other than our first one this has had to have been the best date I’ve been on.” She told Regina seriously. “Quality time with you, being pampered and fed. Perfect.”

Regina nodded quickly in agreement. Barring the panic attack, she felt equal and useful. Something she hasn’t done in so long.

“So thank you. How about I rinse off and then we can all watch a film together before bed? It is alright that I stay? I just assumed because you gave me pyjamas...”

Emma’s rambling was cut off by a kiss, “I take that as a yes then?”

Regina pulled away and gave an affirmative nod. She blew her a kiss and left the room to change her top and go back downstairs. There was no way she could handle Emma completely naked and not jump her. If she could walk there would definitely be a spring in her step and her cheeks ached from smiling too much.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
